Hey! Long time, no see! But seriously… It’s September, rainy, there’s a chill in the air, it’s SPOOKY SEASON. No better time for a 🧟♂️ zombie story – so why not bring this old blog back from the dead, huh? Well, let’s catch you up. First off… COVID! Huh?? HUH?!!! No, I haven’t been locked…
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I Recommend Pinterest
I*ll admit it: my favorite hobby is scrolling. Scrolling through my phone! Scrolling on my laptop! I am a Millennial, after all. I came of age with Social Media. I was among the first generation of teenagers who were addicted to it – of course, then we only had MySpace, message boards, and AOL…
Rice – a – Rona
I don*t even know how it got here, but once it arrived, there seemed to be no getting rid of it. Last week half a bag of jasmine rice showed up in my food cupboard. And by *food cupboard* I of course am referring to the 1/2 of the shelf below the microwave…
Things That Ought To Be Pumpkin Spice Flavored But Somehow Aren’t Yet? Get On This, People!
We are now firmly in October, which puts us at the peak of Pumpkin Spice Season. In case you don’t already know, “Pumpkin Spice” is made up of cinnamon, cloves, ginger, allspice, nutmeg, and everything left that is pure and good in this doomed and depressing world. 🙂 Naysayers will say, in addition to “nay,”…
Wanted: Instagram Bae
Many, many months ago, my former therapist asked me to make a list of qualities that I want in a hypothetical future partner. Many, many months ago, the list looked a lot like this: “1. some ? one ? who ? won’t ? hurt ? me ???…” But it’s been many, many months since then, and I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided that…
Vanguard of Fashion w/ my Hair in the Clouds
It’s happened AGAIN!!! Dear Readers, it is with utmost humility that I inform you that yours truly is Trendsetter Numero Uno, that’s right, I MAKE THE TRENDS. I was wearing overalls before they were cool. I’ve had bangs my WHOLE LIFE* so take that, Zooey Deschanel!! And now, I’ve resurrected that most unlikely of hair accessory: the scrunchie. …
Dress For…?
Who do you dress for? So it’s often assumed (by men) that women dress for men. When straight men feel like they can comment on how you look or what you’re wearing, it’s just another reminder that in (Straight) Man-O-Vision, everything exists to be pleasing to them. Or, if it is not, pleasing to them that is,…
GOOD NEWS! I Survived Burning Man… AGAIN! But For Real, This Time
I’m Baaaaaaaaa-aaaack! And only the *teensiest* bit jetlagged. Okay, so maybe my eyes are watering and I’m falling asleep sitting up at 6:30pm, because I (as I type this) just flew in on a redeye flight, and boy are my eyes red! That’s the way the joke goes, right? Not only am I BACK,…
I Feel Pretty, Or Maybe Not
After cooking dinner for my grandma and sipping on rosé, we (my mother, my grandma, and I) rushed from the table to meet my aunt, uncle, and cousins at our favorite mini golf spot. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and slathered on some pink lipgloss and who knows? Maybe it was…
I Was Wrong About QALO Rings, And I Can Say So
I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, but only when I’ve convinced me that I’m wrong. So when I first heard about these QALO rings, I did a spit-take. This commercial ran as one of my ads on Hulu and my gut reaction to it was, well, not very generous of my spirit. “What the fuck kinda bullshit crap…
Good News 4/20 Edition
Eerrrrrrrffffffff you guys. This week has been realllllly rough, in such a vague way, I can’t even explain it! You know that I spent Sunday (and a bit of Monday) throwing up and not being able to eat anything and having a terrible headache. Tuesday I tried to re-dye my hair and failed! It just…
My (One) One-Night Stand
I think one of the most amazing things about a NEW YEAR is the temptation to revisit and reflect on our pasts. As much as I still believe Time is a construct, like “virginity” and “breakfast” (feel free to quote me), I’ve done some re-reading of my own blog. It’s part nostalgia and part research: as I…