I Need Your *Advice*

image source: Wikimedia Commons Dear Reader: I need your help. I’m addicted… TO ADVICE COLUMNS! Ever since I was old enough to reach for the coveted “Lifestyles” section of the local newspaper. That’d be the Press & Sun Bulletin, FYI. The “Lifestyles” section back then had everything I needed to know: the funnies the[…]

Dance As If Nobody’s Watching — Oh God, Are They Watching?

  You know how some people are afraid to dance because they claim that they “can’t dance”?   Hmm…. can’t relate.   Not that I’m bragging about my skills on the dance floor! Au contraire — I am openly and unapologetically an awful dancer. But I’ve always taken a special joy in dancing.   I vividly[…]

Reaching For The Light

As you know, it was recently MY BIRTHDAY* *yes, it was like, a week and a half ago, but to me, a birthday is more like a state of mind! And when I decide I want special treatment, it’s My Birthday.   So, I was still in a Birthday State[…]

Highlights From My 33rd Twirl Around The Sun

July 31st is my birthday! I have been a bit quiet about it on here… frankly, I’ve been quiet about a lot on here, this past year. This year was intense — by which I mean, it had some of the highest highs and the lowest lows — but overall, I’m surprised[…]

I Love Hate Clicks (And You Can’t Stop Me)

  Yes, I read the blog post. The one everyone was talking about: Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Who’ve Never Spoken To Anyone Outside Their Immediate Family, by The Brainwashed Wife. I kid, I kid! But you know the one. Look, far be it from me to criticize someone for blogging their unpopular[…]

Get Me Outta This Dystopia…Take Me Back To Jersey Shore

  If you ever wondered whether “my generation” would someday look back on the Jersey Shore days with fondness and nostalgia, then I can answer, YES.   Jersey Shore premiered on December 3rd, 2009. Like, feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it? That’s just the illusion caused by the nonstop onslaught of horrifying news that[…]

Take My Breath Away, Dahn Vo! at The Guggenheim

  COOL STORY BRO: Four years ago, during my second season giving ghost tours in Lower Manhattan, City Hall Park was overtaken by an installation by Dahn (pronounced “Yon,” I googled it) Vo, called “We The People.” Click the link! Did you click it? So basically, it was life-sized CHUNKS[…]

GOOD NEWS! I *FINALLY* Touched Up My Roots!!!

  So this week was a week off from the studio, and I made myself to-do lists EVERY DAY. At the top of the list was TOUCH UP MY ROOTS. They were getting to be like 2.5 inches long, and it wasn’t the BEST touch-up job (can we say, “polka[…]

I Wanna Talk About Bras For A Minute

I think that the worst way to gaslight someone would be to steal all their bras and reverse the adjustment of the straps so you make them think that their big titty got bigger and their small titty got smaller and they stand in front of the mirror lookin at[…]

So Long, Claire’s Accessories

  Such childhood, very nostalgia.   Sad news, my friends: Claire’s Accessories is said to be going bankrupt. Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone? Claire’s resides in a very special place of my heart, because I’ve never grown out of[…]

If I Only Had 48 Hours To Live

  Yep, I’m a morbid goth kid 4 life. But I think about this a lot: how I want to spend the end of my life. Frankly, it’s a lot easier (for me) to idealize the end of my life, than to imagine or plan for the next five years, fifteen years, FIFTY years.[…]

Omelettes – In The Microwave!!!

  Backstory: I joined a Facebook community about Depression Meals. What’s a “depression meal,” you ask? Well, according to the group, basically anything that you eat while depressed? There’s a good variety between like really tragic and lazy meals (leftover white rice with ketchup?), decadent “treat yo’self” meals (cakes and[…]

Tell Me Something Good

  Ugh, Mercury Retrograde, AMIRITE???   I started going all New-Agey on you a couple of months ago, but to be honest, I’ve alllllways had a soft spot for horoscopes. Even fortune cookies. Oh, god, my mom is nodding her head reading this! I saved SO MANY cookie fortunes over the[…]

The Safety Blanket

  Did you have a “safety blanket” when you were a kid?   How about now?   I have a theory about those little things we always return to when things get tough. The favorite book we’ve read over and over, even when our TBR pile is towering. The movie we[…]

⛸️ Ice Skating at Bryant Park!! ⛸️

  Well, I wanted to do this, and I did it!   On a warm, Friday evening, I coerced a friend of mine into skating with me at Bryant Park. I started off desperately clinging to him, forcing him to tow me around the ice (sorry!). But by the time[…]

LOST: my inspiration. FOUND: this stuff…

  So I just told you in my boat post that I’ve been struggling with finding “inspiration.” That’s pretty harsh, but it’s true. I’ve been actively searching for, but (largely) failing to find, things that excite me. Apologies in advance for sounding like a total jerk, but I’ve been going through a big period[…]