It’s Cadbury Mini Eggs Time!!!

  Open a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs right now. Put them under your nose. Smell them. Don’t they smell exactly like the powdered “hot cocoa” you used to make in the microwave as a kid???   Yes, I bought a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs just for myself. Showing remarkable and uncharacteristic restraint,[…]

🎶 Don’t Stop Me Now 🎶

  I’m one of those people who thrives on being busy. If I’m allowed to rest for too long, I fall into a depression and stop taking care of myself (see: wearing the same sweatsuit and not showering for 5 days straight while living off of mayonnaise sandwiches and frozen microwave dinners).[…]

Of Leggings And Janties

  godDAMN, there is nothing I love more than petulant absurdity.   But I didn’t love THIS: Last month, believe it or not, a grown woman wrote an OpEd to the formerly-respected publication The Washington Post to beg — okay, sit down, take a deep breath, drink a glass of water,[…]

Why

  This blog is pretty weird.   Let’s face it, dear reader: we have latched onto a fleeting trend. Blogging was hot hot hot for a little while there! I wanna say 2009, everybody had a blog. We blogged our outfits. We blogged hairstyle tutorials. We blogged our LIVES! … for like, three years. By 2014, it seems, everyone[…]

People Who Have People Are The POOSHiest People

  It’s soooo easy to make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP. Soo easy. TOO easy! It’s almost boring! Goop has been around since September 2008, and at this point, it’s almost impossible to poke fun at or parody the concept without instantly becoming a hackneyed, tired cliché.   Enter Kourtney Kardashian… and… POOSH.[…]

So This Is A Brooklyn Spring

  In the countryside, Springtime is evidenced through gradually warming temperatures. The daylight lasts longer. And the trees start to bloom.   In Brooklyn, the telltale sign of spring’s arrival is not the chirps of the returning birds, but rather, the throbbing rumble of a subwoofer being blasted from somewhere[…]

On The (Greenpoint) Waterfront

  I. Love. Being on the NYC coastline.   I like beaches??? Idk. There’s something about being on the EDGE of land. Where land meets water. It feels RISKY and DANGEROUS, like when I went through that weird phase of putting bowls and coffee cups close to the edge of[…]

Will The Real Comedian Please *NOT* Stand Up?

  My least favorite part of the movie where the comedian plays a comedian is the part where they do comedy.   For example: Obvious Child. Sleepwalk With Me. The Big Sick. All movies —and there are many more — where a Known Comedian™ plays a comedian in their movie.   To be fair,[…]

When I See A Cupcake…

  My favorite food is cake. Period. End of the most Leo sentence ever.   Why wouldn’t your favorite food be cake??? Cake is obviously the best food. Here are the reasons: you’re supposed to eat cake at the END of the meal because it’s so special, you have to save the best[…]

⚡ Safe Spaces & Trigger Warnings ⚡

  In my experience, the people who are most vocal in their objections to Safe Spaces and Trigger Warnings are the exact same people who are fortunate enough to not need Safe Spaces or Trigger Warnings.   The way I understand it, Safe Spaces are a thing I can’t imagine anyone objecting[…]

When I’m Stressed Out, I Wet My Plants

  I’m not amazing at self-care. Honestly. I’m not really good at nurturing my own growth, taking the time to be deliberate and caring, and being aware of the ways I take care of my physical being.   But I’m great with plants.   My plants are bountiful, green, tall, and[…]

Currently… in April 2019

  FEELING:  Strangely reinvigorated! I was very busy, and then I wasn’t, and I’m slowly (without putting a lot of pressure on myself) getting my life together in my downtime. Going to the dentist. Touching up my roots. Washing my sheets and blankets. I have a LOT of blankets, ok,[…]

MAYO MIXES: Should We? Why DID We?

  You know mayonnaise is a huge part of my #personal brand. It’s all about the THREE M’S: Mayonnaise. Murder. and… Manhattan? I think. Yeah. Good intro.   So I just saw that Heinz — the ketchup company — has introduced these two new “mayo mixes” to the market: MayoMust[…]

New True Crime Faves

  Ok ok ok you know I’ve devoured every true crime podcast and true crime documentary I can get my hands on, and I’m always on the lookout for FRESH MEAT to sink my maudlin teeth into. And boy, have I got some DOOZIES for you today! It’s Wednesday, and[…]

Trader Joe’s Tuesday: Mini Brie Bites

  Tastes Like:  I’m gonna try to keep this under 500 words. It’s gonna be hard. In the past, the circles of “Good Brie” and “Affordable Brie” were miles apart from each other, and in the vast crevasse between, lived many regrettable BAD BRIES which I bought in desperate need of[…]

I Just Wanna Know

  It hit me the other day when I was at work, on a Saturday. I had the studio space to myself and was working on a large-scale (messy) task, playing a podcast for my enjoyment (The Bowery Boys Epsiode #169 The Tallest Building In New York: A Short History[…]

Touched By… 👻 A GHOST?!?!? 👻

  I’ve often confirmed on this blog that I believe in ghosts, but I don’t think I’ve ever told you why. It’s because I’ve been touched by a ghost. TWICE.    Let’s go back to 2003, 2004. The College Years! I was at Broome Community College working towards my Associate’s Degree in[…]

Everything I Know About Sex I Learned From *Musical Theatre*

I have been a theatre nerd ALL. MY. LIFE. True story: my parents remember me dancing around to “One” from A Chorus Line when I was a toddler, so baby, as long as I could talk, I’ve been a Broadway Baby! So of course, the first person to really sit me down and teach[…]

Recipes That Prove That Humans Are Monsters

  I feel pretty gross and guilty for my mayo-cheese-and-sriracha sandwiches. That’s what they are. Gluten free bread, a thick layer of Kewpie mayo on both slices, a hearty drizzle of Sriracha hot sauce, and two slices of Provolone cheese. I’m a bad person. I’m disgusting. This is my favorite[…]