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The Seven Worst Moments In The Life of a New Yorker
Category is: Law & Order intro realness. Yes, they’ve all happened: 1. The pounding bass line that’s keeping you from sleeping on a weeknight has gotten so irritating that you venture, bleary-eyed and pajama-clad, into the brightly lit hallway of your apartment building only to discover that the offending apartment, the Party Animals, the horrific…
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Cummin’ Outta Nowhere
How do you talk to women online? I didn’t think it was so difficult, but my recent experiences suggest otherwise. Old friends – and I mean like friends from a decade ago – have been getting back in touch with me in a bad-touch way. What am I trying to say? This is a typical…
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Dream Wedding
Last night I had a dream that I was planning my wedding. Let’s be absolutely clear: there was no groom in the picture. In my dream, I met a wedding planner at a beautiful estate and walked through lush gardens and licked my fingers through a cake tasting, just for the hell of it. The…
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Never Read The Comments
. Cheese and crackers, guys! I thought I’d scraped the absolute bottom of the Internet, but it turns out there are even more frozen layers than I realized! Since I started my internship, I’ve been learning so much about online journalism! Namely, to never, ever, ever read the comments! Here are some examples of the…
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Bonne Bell Lip Smacker Horoscopes
Strawberry: This is a time of renewal for you. This month you will order a sandwich and they will put onions on it, even though you specifically asked for no onions. You will pick the onions off one by one, but a few will slip through and as you bite into the errant offending onion…
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Where Have All The (Gay) (Space) Cowboys Gone?
I wanna do an experiment. Raise your hands if you love science fiction and identify as LGBTQ+ OH DAMN that’s a lot of hands! Put ’em down, you’re makin me slap-nervous. Okay, hands down, we can all agree that LGBTQ+ people exist, and that we definitely enjoy all manner of things, including sci-fi, so then……
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I’m Sorry, But You’re Wrong
So I was coming home from a long day at my internship wherein I got really caught up in A Thing and didn’t really eat lunch. Well I did eat one of those KIND bars – the one I keep in my bag for an emergency – but that’s an EMERGENCY TIDE-OVER BAR, not…
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SELFIES
Yo, I wasn’t going to say anything about Kim Kardashian on this blog… ever, but I loooove talking about SELFIES. When I see selfies being attacked, I gotta run to the rescue. Oh, and slut-shaming. That too. By now, you’ve seen Kim Kardashians “Internet-breaking” nude (and tastefully censored) selfie. First, can I ask why this…
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Quickies!
Finally! A picture of my new haircut! Taken in my sunny kitchen, on a day when I wore makeup! 2002: Now That’s What I Call Music! 2016: That’s What They Call “Music” Now? — Meghan Sara Karre (@MeghanSaraK) March 2, 2016 For those times when you have more to say than will fit in a…
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What Is Makeup?
Makeup is very controversial these days! People are asking all kinds of questions such as, “Is Makeup Feminist?” and “Is Makeup False Advertising?” The one question NOT being asked is probably the most important one of all, “WHAT IS MAKEUP?!?” To understand, I’ve broken down the essential elements of makeup for you to understand: Contouring: …
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The Popsicle Zodiac
Pink: Total hedonist. You enjoy only the finest things in life. Your bed has no fewer than six pillows. That’s four pillows more than necessary, and you know it. Your most frequent recurring nightmare is the one where you realize your favourite designer handbag is actually a knockoff. Blue: You were the first kid to…
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Those 5 Twitter Pals Everyone Has
TWITTER! Twitter is a blogger’s best friend! Twitter is there for you when nobody else is” when you wake up at 5am and decide to start watching The Bachelor for no reason (spoilers, it’s terrible, just don’t) (but my Bachelor tweets are pretty funny). Twitter helps you make friends with people all over the world!!!…
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Periodical Thoughts
You know what’s awesome? Having the kind of terrible menstrual cramps that ruin your entire day (and sometimes the next one, too). The kind where taking Midol is a gamble: sometimes it works, sometimes you might as well swallow some Cadbury Mini Eggs and hope for the best. That was me yesterday. I had big…
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Patience
Patience fuckin’ blows. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m a New Yorker. We’re not exactly known for being patient. Are you a New Yorker too? Just in case, I looked up the definition of “Patience” for you: If you click for “more” synonyms, you’ll also get “sucker”Sorry, sorry, NEW YORKER! If you, out of morbid curiosity,…
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The Princess and the Stalker
As I shared last week on Femnasty, it’s my 2-year anniversary of taking my stalker to the cops and getting an Order Of Protection. I shared about the situation and what happened a year ago, but I’m not done. See, the problem is, stalking like what happened to me is taught in all kinds of…
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10 Signs You Might Be a Confused Introvert
Are you an Extrovert? If so, LEAVE THIS PLACE. This is not for you. Great, now we got all the Introverts? Guys, woah, ease up! I’m not going to hurt you! I am one of you! Well, most of the time. See, I think I might be a “Confused” Introvert. And you might be one,…
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You Should See Me Climb Stairs
I really don’t know who first said, “If you think that’s impressive, you should see me climb stairs.” I spent actual time Googling that quote, and I can’t seem to find its true origin, so I’ve decided that it’s a thing my dad used to say. It sounds like a thing dads say. That means…
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“The Fuckin’ Ugly Duckling” & Dermatology Update
So it has been six weeks since the dermatologist. Six weeks, remember? She said I wouldn’t even START to see a positive change in my skin until at LEAST six weeks. Which is why I was so excited that my face had been responding to treatment since day ONE! Yay! And for the past five…
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What The Hell Are You Doing For Valentine’s Day?
Oh Shit, it’s not only SUNDAY, it’s also Valentine’s Day? There is no fucking way you’re going to get a table at Five Leaves*, dude, not even if you sit at the bar. Kiss your endive and salmon mousse-filled dreams goodbye (RIP endive salmon mousse, you were the stuff of my dreams). Okay so now…
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I Love You, You’re Perfect, But…
Around Valentine’s Day, you see lots of sappy posts cropping up from coupled bloggers about how much they love their significant other, how they’re the greatest in the world, blah blah blah. This isn’t one of those. Well, obviously, all those other posts neglect to mention the fact that my boyfriend is clearly the best…