Vanguard of Fashion w/ my Hair in the Clouds

 

It’s happened AGAIN!!!

 

Dear Readers, it is with utmost humility that I inform you that yours truly is Trendsetter Numero Uno, that’s right, I MAKE THE TRENDS. I was wearing overalls before they were cool. I’ve had bangs my WHOLE LIFE* so take that, Zooey Deschanel!! And now, I’ve resurrected that most unlikely of hair accessory: the scrunchie.

 

You may remember THIS PIECE I wrote for BUST back a couple of years ago? My my, time flies. But I’m counting it as PROOF that I’ve been trying to bring back 90s hair trends for A WHILE NOW.

 

Over Christmas, my mother gave me (back?) a whole host of my old jewelry and things INCLUDING EARRINGS (hello, re-pierced ears!) and SCRUNCHIES. A black one covered in white musical notes (cute), a navy blue velvet one (velvet: so on-trend this season!) and this glittery one you see in my hair in the photo above, which I was SOOO THRILLED to be reunited with, it having been one of my FAVORITE PIECES growing up. COME ON! Everything’s better with a GLITTER SCRUNCHIE!!!

 

….and even at the very same moment that I WAS WEARING THIS SCRUNCHIE AT WORK, I was sent this article.

 

THEY’RE ONTO ME!!!!

 

 

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not UPSET about being copied incessantly for my superior taste in style. I am asking, however, that you CREDIT THE SOURCE. You hear me, designers??? 

 

AND ANOTHER THING!!!! WTF is up with calling this thing a “HAIR CLOUD” now? OWN IT. If you’re going to reach back into the grave and bring back TEH SCRUNCHIE, be honest with yourself! Hair clouds? Pffflllfllfllflflflflflfffbbbbtttttt. I call shenanigans. It’s a scrunchie. Carrie BRADSHAW owned it. You can FUCKING OWN IT TOO.

 

Anyway, I’m glad I got this out there and off of my chest early, and with a time & date stamp too, so I can pull this up and PROVE that I DID IT FIRST when everybody and their mother from the Midwest is walking around all scrunchified. CREDIT THE SOURCE! It just goes to show me that I have to work harder to start trends that I can enjoy on my own for a good long time before someone COPIES ME. I’m thinking next I’ll bring back those shoelace barrettes! I have a couple of those. Maybe I’ll sew a fuckin’ Beanie Baby onto a headband and wear it as a fascinator. YEAH! Take THAT, 90s kids.

 

Vanguard of Fashion, over & out.

4 thoughts on “Vanguard of Fashion w/ my Hair in the Clouds

  1. This is completely off topic but you have your daith piereced?? I have mine as well! I originally got it to potentially help with migraines, but oof that went down the drain considering that was a load of crapola that I read off the Internet. I mean, maybe it actually does help other people in some way, but not ME of course. I’ve still kept it because it looks cool though. Like scrunchies, right?

    1. Yes I do have my daith pierced! I think people with daith piercings fall into two categories: 1) people who got it to help with migraines (you) and 2) people who saw that heart-shaped hoop daith ring on Pinterest and swooned and said “I want THAT!” and now they can’t wear earbuds in that ear anymore! It’s a burden, but honestly, my hearing was so bad in my left ear I hardly even notice anymore. I’ve had people ask me if it helps with headaches, and I will say I seem to get fewer headaches than I remember getting as a child, but I never got SO many headaches that I’d notice?

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