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Everything I Know About Sex I Learned From *Musical Theatre*
I have been a theatre nerd ALL. MY. LIFE. True story: my parents remember me dancing around to “One” from A Chorus Line when I was a toddler, so baby, as long as I could talk, I’ve been a Broadway Baby! So of course, the first person to really sit me down and teach my about S-E-X was the…
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Doggy Daycare Drama Coach
Some people are sports people, some people are theatre people. Hear me out. Some people are sports people, some people are theatre people. This is a fact. And you can’t really be a “sports person” AND a “theatre person” and this conflict is borne out in High School Musical as pure fact and everyone…
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“Yes I’m Stubborn, Your Point Is?” aka, Why I Won’t Be Seeing Mamma Mia 2, And Haven’t Seen Mamma Mia 1, and My Top 20 Personal Favorite ABBA Songs To Boot
I used to vehemently deny that I was stubborn. That’s how stubborn I was! 20. Arrival 19. Super Trooper 18. Lay All Your Love On Me Man, things have gotten so much easier now that I’ve just embraced my stubbornness. I mean, of COURSE I’m stubborn! Look, I had braces and retainers for FIVE YEARS, and as soon as they…
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The Safety Blanket
Did you have a “safety blanket” when you were a kid? How about now? I have a theory about those little things we always return to when things get tough. The favorite book we’ve read over and over, even when our TBR pile is towering. The movie we always watch again and again,…
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Nothing’s Gonna Change My World
It’s December 9th, and you know what that means. It means that yesterday, I spent NINE AND A HALF HOURS in the cold singing Beatles songs with tourists and fellow fanatics alike. I joke that this is my only religious holiday. Well, no joke. It is. During the daytime, the event is a bit overrun…
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Good News! YOU Think You’re Helping
Wow it’s FRIDAY AGAIN?!? I really can’t believe it! Maybe the “holiday” messed me up into thinking it couldn’t possibly be Friday already. I put “holiday” in quotes because I’ve been working every single day since last you heard from me, except for the Fourth, which I spent having a raging stomachache and running errands (which…
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Good News! We Are ALL All Stars
Hey! How are you? Staying cool, I hope? This week has been brutal. And before we get to World News, here’s the News with me: This week started off really great. Last weekend – Saturday – I went thrifting with my boyfriend and found a couple great dresses and a HUUUUUGE hat (you’ll see it, don’t…
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GOOD NEWS! Let There Be Butt Stuff
Walked out my door on Monday morning to find that someone had etched the phrase “NO BUTT STUFF” into the sidewalk. What? Why? What does this mean? So now I guess we have to talk about the Corgi Butt Bag: So at the studio we’ve been listening to “comedy music” and I remembered…
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You Got Me, Babe
Ok I said it like five months ago that May was gonna be the month that Tr*mp was impeached. And y’all, it is just taking way too long. America is getting scarier and worse by the day. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for you to impeach him? Well, I can’t do that. There’s…
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How I Learned To Love The Beatles
I wish this story wasn’t about a boy. I sincerely do. But it’s at least a little bit about a boy. File it under doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. Sure, I’d always liked The Beatles, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’d played the records in my parents’ basement and danced wildly to “Oh! Darlin’” on…
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I Hear Dead People: The Playlist
If one thing doesn’t need to be said about 2016, it’s that we lost a lot of GREAT MUSICIANS. David Bowie, Prince, George Michael — I started listening to all of their songs together and realized, you know what? This is objectively a GREAT PLAYLIST. And then, Oh my God, Chuck Berry just passed away this…
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Laziness
My angel cherubs, let me advise you: be very wary of people who have no trouble picking a favorite book. It usually indicates that they have very little basis for comparison, if you know what I mean. I mean they must not read much! I really hate when websites prompt me to set up “security questions”…
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Five Albums: Double Fantasy
Three chimes. Double Fantasy is a meditative experience. It plays like a story of a relationship which begins in the middle — a genius move that lends itself brilliantly to playing it over and over, to “start over” again and again. Lennon’s gift for songwriting is undoubtedly enhanced by his relationship with Ono. I’ve always regarded them…
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Five Albums: Tapestry
Sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to make it home again. I didn’t know just what was wrong with me. Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore? Carole King’s Tapestry is a masterpiece of meandering insecurities and confident piano riffs. The album dives right in with “I Feel The Earth Move,” a jangly rock anthem…
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Five Albums: Pearl
One of the fondest and fuzziest memories of my young life was when my dad woke me up and took me down to the basement late at night. He sat me on the ping-pong table, put his Iron Butterfly record on the turntable he’d just hooked up, and flamboyantly gesticulated the importance of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” while…
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Five Albums: Arrival
“See that girl, watch that scene/digging the Dancing Queen” I’m 12 years old and I’ve re-discovered ABBA. My parents laugh because they have video of toddler-me dancing to “Take A Chance On Me.” Oh, if there was YouTube in 1989! But when I rekindle my love of ABBA in 1997, I do my share…
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I’m Sorry, But You’re Wrong
So I was coming home from a long day at my internship wherein I got really caught up in A Thing and didn’t really eat lunch. Well I did eat one of those KIND bars – the one I keep in my bag for an emergency – but that’s an EMERGENCY TIDE-OVER BAR, not…
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Periodical Thoughts
You know what’s awesome? Having the kind of terrible menstrual cramps that ruin your entire day (and sometimes the next one, too). The kind where taking Midol is a gamble: sometimes it works, sometimes you might as well swallow some Cadbury Mini Eggs and hope for the best. That was me yesterday. I had big…
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5 Years Later
Five years ago, I sat on a cold marble bench, I watched this tree twinkle under the arch, and I got the phone call. It still doesn’t make sense to me, that you’ll never be there again. You were always there. Sitting in the back row, pulling up the street, the corner booth in the…
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QUIZ! Which Christmas Song Are You?
1. When do you put up Christmas decorations? A. When I have the time and energy. B. When my Tinder date is there to help. It’s called “foreplay.” C. The day after Thanksgiving! It’s always THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING. Earlier than that is TOO SOON, but if you don’t have decorations up by Black Friday,…