If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Write It On The Internet

  I was raised on a couple of “Golden Rule”s. “Silence is Golden!” “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You,” and “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Don’t Say Anything At All.” Today, it seems these old platitudes have modern twists. FUN! “Silence Is An Invitation[…]

Cleansing

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Maybe you noticed some changes around here? They say “a messy house is a sign of a life well-lived,” which is probably just a shade at neat freaks. Maybe the opposite is also true, “a clean house is a sign of a  life in turmoil.”[…]

Face Value

Dermatological treatment may be slowly changing my face, but it’s rapidly changing the way I think about it. It’s been almost six months — wow, time flies! Six months since I brought my shameful face to the dermatologist. In the sixth months I’ve been using prescription topical treatments, my face[…]

5 Things You Need To Get Over Already

I get it, I get it, we like to yak. We like to gripe, we like to complain, and we LOVE to air our grievances. Sure, most of the time, there’s stuff to be pissed about: global warming, homophobes, dress codes, TRUMP. But henceforth, I declare an absolute kibosh on[…]

Carrie’s Side

Mom: “Hi Carrie, how was school today?” Carrie:  “Fine.  We drew pictures of our families…but I’m worried about my friend Cindy.” Mom:  Oh?  Why is that? Carrie: “Well, it was Tyler’s birthday today, so his dad brought in cupcakes, but Cindy couldn’t have any.  She had to sit in the[…]

Brought To You By…

You guys, I miss blogs.  Like, I really miss blogs. You know that awful Twitter chat question: “What made you start blogging teehee lol?”  BLOGS.  Blogs made me start blogging.  Blogs opened my eyes to something human beyond myself, something real and sympathetic and extraordinary in the everyday banal realities[…]

Things Guys Do On The Subway That We HATE

Playing Shitty Music Out Loud — look at everybody else’s ears.  What do you see?  Those are called “headphones.”  People wear them in public.  If you’re wearing headphones and I can still hear your music, then you need to re-evaluate your life.  Seriously. Spitting — yo are you brushing your[…]

Dressing For The Weather: New York City Edition

Summer:  “Which of my pretty pretty dresses should I wear today?” *five minutes later*  “Ok, I’m ready!” Fall:  “I can pull off this sundress!  I’ll just put a sweater over it.  And some jeans under it.  And a down coat.  I’m still tan from summer, so you can hardly tell[…]

The Seven Worst Moments In The Life of a New Yorker

Category is: Law & Order intro realness. Yes, they’ve all happened: 1.  The pounding bass line that’s keeping you from sleeping on a weeknight has gotten so irritating that you venture, bleary-eyed and pajama-clad, into the brightly lit hallway of your apartment building only to discover that the offending apartment,[…]

Dream Wedding

Last night I had a dream that I was planning my wedding.  Let’s be absolutely clear:  there was no groom in the picture.  In my dream, I met a wedding planner at a beautiful estate and walked through lush gardens and licked my fingers through a cake tasting, just for[…]

Never Read The Comments

. Cheese and crackers, guys!  I thought I’d scraped the absolute bottom of the Internet, but it turns out there are even more frozen layers than I realized! Since I started my internship, I’ve been learning so much about online journalism!  Namely, to never, ever, ever read the comments!  Here[…]

Where Have All The (Gay) (Space) Cowboys Gone?

I wanna do an experiment. Raise your hands if you love science fiction and identify as LGBTQ+ OH DAMN that’s a lot of hands!  Put ’em down, you’re makin me slap-nervous.  Okay, hands down, we can all agree that LGBTQ+ people exist, and that we definitely enjoy all manner of[…]

The Princess and the Stalker

As I shared last week on Femnasty, it’s my 2-year anniversary of taking my stalker to the cops and getting an Order Of Protection.  I shared about the situation and what happened a year ago, but I’m not done. See, the problem is, stalking like what happened to me is[…]

God Hates You

I don’t believe in God. I don’t think there’s any compelling evidence that God exists. I find it scientifically improbable that there is a ruling force to the chaotic universe we live in. I’d hate to believe there’s some dickface cloud-dwelling billionaire up there who gives cancer to babies to[…]

Open Letter to Cosmopolitan UK – Let Me Introduce You To A Blogger

Look, CosmoUK!  A Blogger, drinking coffee!  Woah woah wait, call off the hounds, I only wanna talk to you. Okay so by now we all know what you, Cosmopolitan UK, said about bloggers, there’s no need for me to even link to the article to give it more pageviews.  Maybe[…]

Introducing: the Femternet!

Ladies, ladies, ladies!  Tired of logging on to the Internet for personal, educational or professional use only to be inundated by the following ‘minor’ annoyances?: mansplaining unwanted sexual advances targeted harassment from complete strangers death threats doxing having to move your family because of doxing losing your job over targeted[…]

No Mo’ “Hoes”

Source: lesmis.com Whore, Prostitute, Skank, Ho’Bag, Tramp, Hooker, Lady of the Evening, Hussy, Ho. Can we seriously just stop?When I was 13, I thought being a prostitute would be the coolest job ever.  I had just learned what a prostitute was by listening to the soundtrack for Les Miserables (Fantiiiine![…]

How [NOT] to Get Well Soon

Hey everybody, I’m sick!  Yes, ‘still.’  In fact, I’ve been sick for this entire year (and then some)!  I’m afraid it’s GCD – Generic Coughing Disease.  GCD first broke out as an epidemic sometime around 2001, during the peak of my obsession with Les Miserables (“Oh, Fantine…”) and the release[…]

Stop Hassling Couples On Their Phones!!

It’s open season on couples who use their cell phones in each other’s presence. Admit it – in the gut of your heart, when you see a man and woman in the candlelit corner of some hip, romantic restaurant staring lovingly into their…PHONES…you probably sneer, or scoff, or joke to[…]

I’m Sick of Being Sick!

What did you get for Christmas?  I got the longest-lasting cold!!  I brought it back to New York City with me and maybe I didn’t treat it right: On the first day of sickness, I went to the hospital (for my dermatology appointment, more on that later!) and sat for[…]