Open Letter to Cosmopolitan UK – Let Me Introduce You To A Blogger

Look, CosmoUK!  A Blogger, drinking coffee!  Woah woah wait, call off the hounds, I only wanna talk to you.

Okay so by now we all know what you, Cosmopolitan UK, said about bloggers, there’s no need for me to even link to the article to give it more pageviews. 

Maybe there are shocking cultural differences between blogs here in America and blogging in the UK – in fact, I’m sure there are – but nothing in this article made any sense to me.  Have you, CosmoUK, ever seen a blog?  Or are you just scared that the grassroots creativity and talent behind these blogs is beginning to eclipse your once monolithic presence  as the most trusted source for all things beauty advice, personal essay, fashion spreads, and sassy girl fun?

Oh Cosmo, the world is changing.  You’re scared of being irrelevent.  So you do what any (Donald Trump) would do:  launch an exhaustive smear campaign against the people who are making you irrelevent.  What’s the saddest part of this whole ordeal?

As a blogger of six plus years, I can deal with someone not liking me.  I’m not in this industry to “[try] desperately hard to impress” anyone, your words.  Holla at me, ex-Cosmo-girls turned bloggers if YOU grew up reading the glossy, fun magazine and dreamed of being a beauty editor.  Or crafting your own fashion spreads.  Maybe you dreamed that other girls would reach out to you with their problems for you to offer advice!  You wanted to share your embarassing moments, your personal struggles, you wanted to learn and share more about the world around you!

You buy an IP address and start small.  Your audience grows, your writing sharpens, your friends buy you drinks because they’re so inspired.  Where is all this “free prosecco” coming from, CosmoUK?  When you figure it out, could you mail some to my house?

And while you’re at it, YES PLEASE  “WhatsApp us the link, so we can read up on our competition,” if that means what I think it means?  The whole point of blogging isn’t spewing out our inner struggles to the void, it’s the community!  Because we are decidedly not, as you depict us, back-biting shallow mean girls in a desperate race to the top where There Can Be Only One Blogger and she is the Highlander.  Bull-fucking-shit.  I know you’ve never met a blogger in your life, CosmoUK, but even the slightest bit of research (journalistic integrity?) would unearth Twitter chats, blogging circles, RTs and supportive comments from One Blogger To Another.  We – actual bloggers, wave from the gallery, HELLO! – really like each other.  We’re not shallow, petty assholes who shit on people we view as competition, CosmoUK – that’s what you just did.  The Mirror Selfie has Two Faces, bitch.

Gotta hand it – that’s pretty smart.  Pick a group of people with a lot of online influence and mock them out of their own value.  If they complain about the mistreatment, you can stand back and point to them and say “This is proof that they are shallow and frivolous and too sensitive!”  It’s a genius play, in fact, one that has been used to keep marginalized groups down for centuries.  The old “You were asking for it by doing X” move.  If you didn’t want people to make fun of you, why would you start a blog on the internet?  STOP HITTING YOURSELF, bloggers!  You asked for this attention, now you don’t want it?

CosmoUK, They ONLY – ONLY thing you got right about me was that I drink coffee.  You’re struggling.  Get some help.  Try some guest bloggers.  Maybe you’ll find out why we’re kicking your ass in pageviews and reach.  We don’t have to be enemies, CosmoUK – if blogging has taught me ANYTHING – it’s that women are best when they stick together.  I thought I learned that from your magazine a long time ago, but apparently, I had you all wrong.

Signed,

Just another coffee-drinking shallow nobody Blogger

14 thoughts on “Open Letter to Cosmopolitan UK – Let Me Introduce You To A Blogger

  1. What the F was that article!? It's like everything they learned about blogging was from some poorly written TV show from the early 2000's or something. And don't most network events have booze? Not just blogger ones. Ugh! Ugh! If I had the glossy mag with this article in it I'd rip it out and toss it away like the garbage it is. (Why I am extra grumpy this morning, I have no idea.)

    1. Waking up to Cosmo's reductive garbage made me grumpy too! I'd say 60% of the bloggers I know are just regular women who love to write, have no intention of becoming celebutantes, and are grateful for the internet as a place to self-publish their thoughts. To say nothing of the male bloggers I know of! Most of the bloggers I follow push the envelope where it comes to feminist articles, broadening the narrow view on mental health, body positivity, disability – who are these prosecco-swilling shallow teenagers they're talking about? Has Cosmo even done research for this piece? Ugh. I'd love to see them write a similar piece attacking feminists, or people with depression, or any other group. "LOL things u should know about dating someone in therapy! They cry a lot! They have feelings! What nards!"

    1. Look, if the jokes were at all true, funny, or subversive, I'd have to give them credit for being clever and say, "Well played." I've seen actual bloggers write actually funny blogger cliche posts that aren't mean-spirited or "punching down." This girl got paid to write something nasty about people who blog their hearts out for free. You're entitled to your opinion on it, that's the beauty of the internet. I'm entitled to be offended. FREEDOM. Thank you for your comment!!! I'm so happy you enjoyed my work!

  2. Wait a minute… Doesn't Cosmo organise the Blogger of the Year thingy every year? Well, that's a bit hypocritical…

    So I read through their article and realised that I don't fit at all the "blogger profile" they set up, despite me blogging for 10 years… for that article to be funny, it has to have some truth in it. Don't Cosmo realise there are more than one type of bloggers? We're all not beauty bloggers, but hey – details…

    That's the type of articles that made me stop reading Women magazines. They're just full of bad dating/sex advice (way to go, Cosmo!) and it's always the same themes, over and over again. Stop reading these shits and you'll feel much happier, trust me!

    1. The infamous "scrunchie on the penis" Cosmo sex advice…oh yeah…

      The evolution of Ladies' magazines throughout history is FASCINATING. I know Cosmo is no Sassy or Ms. magazine, but aren't they above this sort of sniping BS? Bloggers are unpaid hobbyists, this is a big magazine. Look, if the jokes were funny and original I SWEAR I would back down, but this struck me as mean-spirited. I was told, when writing humour, to "punch up." Famous people, celebrities, people in power are fair game. Don't make fun of marginalized groups, the poor, or your fans. To me, that's what they're doing. Punching down at all the CosmoGirls out there who used to look up to them. Call me sensitive? Fine. That's your opinion. In my opinion, I don't like people I look up to calling me shallow and frivolous.

    2. I totally agree with you, the article sounded very mean and passive agressive, as the author despises bloggers. And as a matter of facts, I read great articles on the same theme that were much better and funnier, and actually written by bloggers! That's probably why people enjoy reading blogs rather than magazines nowadays!

    3. Yeah, when actual bloggers talk about blogger cliches its actually true and funny because, you know, they ARE bloggers, and they're aware of the culture. That's how I could get away with writing "15 things you should know about dating a New Yorker" or "15 Things you should know about dating a tattooed woman" but if someone tried to write an article about me called "15 things you should know about dating Meghan Sara" that made me out to be a hectic hot mess, then heeeeelllll yeeeeeah I'm gonna be offended!!!

  3. Man, I don't know, I don't think this was even intentionally written as a hit piece (which is all the sadder). This sounds like all of the other navel-gazey "lo, I am a BLOGGER, a creature heretofore UNKNOWN in this land!!!" / "lol im SUCH a blogger guyz" mentality stuff I've seen: no self-awareness, delusions of grandeur, etc. So if this is a hit piece, then well played Hayley Thompson or whoever you are: you have mastered the voice and mannerisms of the (perceived) enemy. Or was it written in all naivete and then deployed by Cosmo as a hit piece? Did they mean it to just be clickbait? Or complimentary? How deep does the rabbit hole go?????

    I just want everyone to stop talking about blogging. Stop blogging about blogging. NO 1 CURR.

    If this is her blog, I actually like the Cosmo piece more than her normal writing, if only because I can't think of anything more unappealing than beauty products (CREATED BY COMPANIES OWNED BY MEN, MARKETED TO WOMEN VIA ENDLESS CHIPS AND DIGS AT THEIR CONFIDENCE, AHHHH FUCK IT ALL).

    http://www.supersugarblog.com/

    1. If it WASN'T written as a hit piece, I honestly can't understand WHY it was written at all? The overall tone of the piece is sniping and mean. Take away the tone and just assume this girl is Grade A bitch all the time and what has she actually said? NOTHING INTERESTING. "bloggers like their phones!" Uh, thanks Einstein, that's revelatory, EVERYONE likes their phone,that's why everyone has a fucking phone. "Bloggers like free stuff!" Yeah genius, EVERYONE likes free stuff, that's why coupons and T-shirt cannons get people damp in the trousers every damn time you whip them out. "Bloggers drink coffee" OH MIGOD are you kidding? The most popular hot beverage worldwide??? Next you'll be telling me bloggers drink TEA! And eat FOOD! WOW! There's no interesting substance. I should write for Cosmo: 15 Things you should Know before Dating a New Yorker: I breathe AIR! I imbibe BEVERAGE! I require Sustenance in the form of FOOD and I seek Shelter from the elements! WOWWWW. Cosmo, hire a write who can write.

    2. "Uh, thanks Einstein, that's revelatory, EVERYONE likes their phone,that's why everyone has a fucking phone."

      Yeah, that's exactly what's grating about this (and subsequently, like 90% of "bloggers on blogging"-style meme-ish posts). It's (1) patently obvious and (2) very rarely exclusive *only* to bloggers.

      "If it WASN'T written as a hit piece, I honestly can't understand WHY it was written at all?"

      To get dat byline? Cash money?

      Further research has revealed that I'm wrong: that beauty blog is another Hayley Thompson, apparently. This is the one for Cosmo UK. Apologies to Hayley Thompson, beauty blogger (though I still find beauty blogs vastly unappealing).

      http://www.myplaceoryoursblog.com/

      I feel like I'd like it better if she weren't doing that "pale gray text on a white background" design thing that's super popular these days. I'm not going to strain to read your dating story, no matter how hilarious it is.

    3. grey text on white background is awful, though to be fair, I look back on some of my old posts in horror and realize that my "medium" text in drafts becomes "extra small" when published on my blog. That's why I use the biggest font ever. I'm an old lady, I want to make it easy on everybody.

  4. The girl who wrote the article is actually a blogger! I found her on twitter lol It's obviously a tongue in cheek type post but it makes bloggers out to be bitchy and money grabbing where all the ones I've met have been super lovely! I personally write because I love it and if I get offered something free then great but that is usually in return for my time.. the time I spend thinking up an idea, writing it, taking photos, editing, filming, editing SO MUCH EDITING, not to mention ALL the promoting! I also only accept things I'm actually interested in and am willing to work for. It's just a bit sad that a fellow blogger feels the need to crap all over the rest of us. x

    1. You've hit on so many good points in your comment! "Tongue in cheek" I get, but every single thing she said implied negativity: "you can come to events if I'm not too busy" "I don't want to buy you gifts but I'll get them for free" "I'd rather pay attention to my cell phone than you" and so on, so on. I don't doubt that there ARE women & bloggers out there who MAYBE do this but to make a sweeping generalization that we ALL do…it sounds like she's got bridges to burn. I agree with you, all bloggers I've met have been lovely! And she's a "fellow Blogger" that "feels the need to crap all over us" – my thoughts EXACTLY. WHY? Has she been burned in a friendship and is writing a vendetta piece? I don't like being roped into that fight. Is she making fun of herself & her blogger friends for laffs? I don't get the joke, I don't like being included. This feels shady and weird and yes, she's talking about me. And I'm not like that. So I feel I have every right to a) be offended and b) have a response. Thank you as ever for your comments and for being a GREAT blogger friend!!!

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