Introducing: the Femternet!

Ladies, ladies, ladies!  Tired of logging on to the Internet for personal, educational or professional use only to be inundated by the following ‘minor’ annoyances?:

  • mansplaining
  • unwanted sexual advances
  • targeted harassment from complete strangers
  • death threats
  • doxing
  • having to move your family because of doxing
  • losing your job over targeted online harassment
  • sexual harassment
  • unsolicited photographs of penises

Unfortunately, North American courts have upheld that “free speech” protects a man’s right to relentlessly harass and threaten a woman as much as he wants, and it’s time to do something about that!  That’s why we created the Femternet (patent pending)

Yes, it only takes a few hours to set up the Femternet, but once you’re there, you’ll reap the benefits of a LIFETIME of harassment-free Internet use!  How?  It’s simple!

The Femternet is a female- and female-identified-exclusive Internet space.  That’s it!  Imagine the Internet, without all the men!  Pretty crazy idea, right?

Without men on the Femternet, its users are able to complete a variety of tasks completely uninhibited by the threat of harassment from men!  The possibilities are ‘virtually’ endless!

  • send emails
  • research
  • look up directions
  • purchase concert tickets
  • have opinions on social media
  • share photographs with friends and family
  • send a photo of your dick to a stranger along with her Grandma’s address and a threat to mouth-rape her until she chokes and dies

HA!  That last one was a trick!  You can’t do that on the Femternet, because if you did, that would mean you’re a man, and the first (and actually, only) rule of the Femternet is NO MEN ALLOWED.

So, are you sold yet?  Well, I haven’t even mentioned the best part!  The Femternet will be a completely cost-free, self-sustaining service courtesy of its users, the 51% minority of the human population.  Why?  It turns out, women actually don’t enjoy being harassed, and they’re willing to do almost anything to be able to use the internet without:

  • being pestered for nude photographs
  • being called “sensitive” by ongoing unrepentant harassers
  • family pets murdered by strangers who searched their personal information online
  • being told to “get off the internet” if they can’t handle the above because they’re “too sensitive”

Isn’t it time you “got off the internet”?  Now you actually fucking can, thanks to the Femternet, patent pending, available now only in your wildest fantasies!


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: