Carrie’s Side

Mom: “Hi Carrie, how was school today?”

Carrie:  “Fine.  We drew pictures of our families…but I’m worried about my friend Cindy.”

Mom:  Oh?  Why is that?

Carrie: “Well, it was Tyler’s birthday today, so his dad brought in cupcakes, but Cindy couldn’t have any.  She had to sit in the nurse’s office until after we sang “Happy Birthday Tyler,” and then she came back for our spelling test.”

Mom: “That’s odd.”

Carrie:  “Yeah.  Cindy told us it’s because birthday parties are evil tools of seitan.  Mom, I’m confused.  What does high-protein meat substitute have to do with birthdays?”

Mom: “Well, Carrie, it sounds like your little friend is in a cult.”

Carrie:  “Occult, mommy?  You mean Cindy is ‘of, involving, or relating to supernatural, mystical, or magical powers or phenomena’?”

Mom:  “Haha, no dear, excellent definition though.  I think Cindy is in cult.”

Carrie:  “What’s a ‘cult,’ Mommy?”

Mom:  “A cult is a group of adults brainwashed by some old white men, usually so those old white men can rape little children.”

Carrie:  “Holy shit, mom!  Do you think some old dude is raping Cindy?”

Mom:  Maybe, Carrie.  Maybe.  What would you do if someone was raping your friend?

Carrie:  “Well…I could tell her about consent, while keeping the conversation is a sex-positive and body-positive inclusive framework…but honestly, I’d rather just avoid her.  Her whole family is really angry and weird.  I mean, have you seen her brother Caleb’s face?  That’s the thing!  I don’t think anyone has!”

Mom:  Ha ha (laughs mirthlessly) that’s AWESOME!


reuploaded video here…does not endorse beliefs or contribute views to original content:


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