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10 Signs You Might Be a Confused Introvert
Are you an Extrovert? If so, LEAVE THIS PLACE. This is not for you. Great, now we got all the Introverts? Guys, woah, ease up! I’m not going to hurt you! I am one of you! Well, most of the time. See, I think I might be a “Confused” Introvert. And you might be one,…
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You Should See Me Climb Stairs
I really don’t know who first said, “If you think that’s impressive, you should see me climb stairs.” I spent actual time Googling that quote, and I can’t seem to find its true origin, so I’ve decided that it’s a thing my dad used to say. It sounds like a thing dads say. That means…
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“The Fuckin’ Ugly Duckling” & Dermatology Update
So it has been six weeks since the dermatologist. Six weeks, remember? She said I wouldn’t even START to see a positive change in my skin until at LEAST six weeks. Which is why I was so excited that my face had been responding to treatment since day ONE! Yay! And for the past five…
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What The Hell Are You Doing For Valentine’s Day?
Oh Shit, it’s not only SUNDAY, it’s also Valentine’s Day? There is no fucking way you’re going to get a table at Five Leaves*, dude, not even if you sit at the bar. Kiss your endive and salmon mousse-filled dreams goodbye (RIP endive salmon mousse, you were the stuff of my dreams). Okay so now…
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I Love You, You’re Perfect, But…
Around Valentine’s Day, you see lots of sappy posts cropping up from coupled bloggers about how much they love their significant other, how they’re the greatest in the world, blah blah blah. This isn’t one of those. Well, obviously, all those other posts neglect to mention the fact that my boyfriend is clearly the best…
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Field Guide to Female Friendships
Women! Who can begin to understand them? Male philosophers, psychoanalysts and stand-up comedians have tried to comprehend and explain the way the female brain works. If these men of science have such difficulty understanding women, what hope is there for mere women? The resulting paradox is that many women have difficulty making friends with…
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God Hates You
I don’t believe in God. I don’t think there’s any compelling evidence that God exists. I find it scientifically improbable that there is a ruling force to the chaotic universe we live in. I’d hate to believe there’s some dickface cloud-dwelling billionaire up there who gives cancer to babies to test their parents’ faith. But…
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Love Letter to Law & Order: SVU
Law & Order: SVU has been on television for 17 Seasons – the age of legal consent in New York State! What? Don’t act like you’re not in love with SVU, and don’t act shocked! It’s been 17 seasons of twisted plotlines, tense standoffs, mistaken identity, snatched babies and jaw-dropping twists. SVU is the longest-lasting…
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The First Time A Joke Blew Up In My Face
I live to tell jokes. Always have, always will. Fact: at a party, an acquaintance pulled me aside to tell me he admired my Twitter hashtag. That compliment meant more to me than shaking the school board president’s hand at my High School graduation. Being laughed at – or with – is the highest compliment…
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Currently… in February 2016
FEELING: The never-ending cold has passed! But not before I “passed” it to my boyfriend! Aww, shucks. Well, now we’re both feeling better and it is glorious not to be sick anymore! WATCHING: Alternating between Flavor of Love and Law and Order: SVU because they inspire me – no really! I wrote about reality TV…
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Can You Be A Feminist And LOVE Reality TV?
Can you be a feminist and – YES. Shhh. YES YOU CAN. You can be a feminist and do whatever you want. But. I looooooove Reality TV – especially dating shows. My favourite dating shows are of the “_____ of Love” oeuvre. The challenges are over-the-top ridiculous (Mud Bowl!), the glitz and glamour is outrageous…
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Exciting Announcement!
I’m so excited to announce that I’m writing advice for Femnasty! I’ve been a huge fan of the website ever since last fall, when the Basic Bitch article caught my eye and tbh, my heart exploded. I was all, OMG, these girls totally get it. I am so proud to be working alongside the team…
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Be the Nerd AND Date the Nerd: Why Nerds Do It Better
If you logged onto OkCupid in 2013 and searched for ‘women’ in their late 20’s in the New York area, you’ve probably seen this baby’s face: All T no shade, I pulled a lot of nerd with my sonic screwdriver photo. Don’t hate, appreciate… Nerd. Geek. Dork. Whatever your vernacular for that Comic Book Guy,…
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#WomenNotObjects ALMOST Gets It Right
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J31AT7viqo] Participation ribbon time: You had me until the 2:08 mark, #WomenNotObjects. This video appealing (to men, ostensibly) to treat women as more than objects means well and almost gets it right – until it (HERE WE GO AGAIN) reminds the viewer (men, ostensibly) that “I am your…“ in order to get their message…
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SNOW SNOW OMG SNOW IN BROOKLYN
New Yorkers are known for being three things: rich sexy cynical Okay, so two out of three ain’t bad (and FYI, I’m broke as hell). So when this huuuuuuge snowstorm was predicted, I figured it was all hype. I didn’t think it would really happen, and as such, I didn’t bother to prepare for it.…
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Open Letter to Cosmopolitan UK – Let Me Introduce You To A Blogger
Look, CosmoUK! A Blogger, drinking coffee! Woah woah wait, call off the hounds, I only wanna talk to you. Okay so by now we all know what you, Cosmopolitan UK, said about bloggers, there’s no need for me to even link to the article to give it more pageviews. Maybe there are shocking cultural differences…
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Introducing: the Femternet!
Ladies, ladies, ladies! Tired of logging on to the Internet for personal, educational or professional use only to be inundated by the following ‘minor’ annoyances?: mansplaining unwanted sexual advances targeted harassment from complete strangers death threats doxing having to move your family because of doxing losing your job over targeted online harassment sexual harassment unsolicited…
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Joshua Tree National Park, California
You down with OPV, Other People’s Vacations? I hope so, because you’re about to get photo-dumped! I’ve just flown back from California and BOY are my arms tired! We stayed in a dome that was decorated like the Brady Bunch vacation hideaway – swinging 60’s baby! Like Austin Powers’ dome-away-from-dome. I love the desert. …
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No Mo’ “Hoes”
Source: lesmis.com Whore, Prostitute, Skank, Ho’Bag, Tramp, Hooker, Lady of the Evening, Hussy, Ho. Can we seriously just stop?When I was 13, I thought being a prostitute would be the coolest job ever. I had just learned what a prostitute was by listening to the soundtrack for Les Miserables (Fantiiiine! Lovely Ladies!) and I thought…
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The Time I Catfished Somebody I Knew IRL
I know we just flipped our calendars over to 2016, but tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999! That’s right – we’re going back to the days of dial-up internet! If you had to google either of the phrases “dial-up internet” or “party like it’s 1999,” I’m gonna bet that you weren’t even alive yet…