Author: meghan
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Christmas in October
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It isn’t even Halloween yet, and I’ve already made a Christmas Spotify playlist that’s over 3 hours long. And I’ve been listening to it since September. I have become that which I once hated. I’m going to be a Grinch up in here and suggest that it doesn’t have to do with Christmas at all! I always do…
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What’s Going On With Me, LAAAATELYYYYY…
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I know, it’s been quiet around here. Almost…too quiet. What’s been going on with me? I interviewed for a couple of jobs, made it through to the third round of interviews for both, and… Nothin’. Still nothin’. So, that’s a bummer. I took a surprise trip out of town. I went to Target. I woke up…
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The “To Do” List
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As Mrs. Mia Wallace mused in Pulp Fiction, “there are two types of people.” Well, I happen to like both Elvis and The Beatles (although if I have to choose, you know I’d pick The Beatles, obvi), as I believe the population can be split into two different types of people: people who make lists, and people who hate lists. As…
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The Backup Plan
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So this week has been a ride! It started off pretty good, everything going well, things were looking up, even! AND NOW I’m here on the couch like, crying and watching animal videos and feeling completely hopeless. Let’s give this a run-down: I had a couple of job interviews that I thought I had done well at, but then…
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Gender is DEAD! That’s the Good News this week!
Last Friday, I listed 7 things that made me exceedingly happy, and I enjoyed sharing so much, that I decided to make “a thing” of it. So welcome to the Second Weekly Edition of my Good News posts. YAY! Good news, for once! So as I was compiling the things I enjoyed this week, I…
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“Self Care” Was At My Fingertips All Along
“Self care” is trendy. I would go so far as to say “self care” is the buzzword of 2016. And the way 2016 has been going, we all need a crapload of self care. When the “self care trend” started happening, I scoffed. It sounded so woo-woo, hippy doo — this coming from a girl…
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Send No Penis, Please
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You guys, I had a whole other post written up. I was all set to tell you about awesome stuff on the Internet and my cool new nails and then somebody. Somebody sent me a penis. In theory, I like penises! Penusi? What is the plural of penis, when it regards the receiving of multiple peni into…
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Cold Feet
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It’s autumn/winter here in New York City, or as I like to call it, “Double Sock Season.” I think I must have the coldest feet of any human being. My feet are literally ice. I think in a typical year, I’m numb from the ankles down, October through May. Speaking of “cold feet,” as I type…
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Yes, I’m An Egg-cellent Cook
There’s a little saying that goes, “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” And when life hands you eggs and a fridge full of nothin’ but leftovers, you make BRUNCH. Aw yes, folks, I’ve been cooking. That’s right. ME! Cooking on the fly, making up recipes. And I’m going to share the wealth of my knowledge with you.…
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Tweet Relief
Holllllly shit, guys, Twitter has become Something Else these days. Politics-as-usual has become politics-as-unusual-as-it-gets. Trolls are everywhere. Hashtags are grim. You gotta have those guilty pleasure accounts to break up the monotony of horrifying trending topics of you’ll go slowly mad, mad I say! Let's talk about 6, baby. Let's talk about the 2 and…
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Get THE SELF-ESTEEM WORKBOOK, Seriously!
So this story begins where it’s been all my life: a slow supernova of self-loathing and self-fulfilling prophesy expanding in a fireball of snowballing problems, sitting in a therapist’s squeaky leather chair. “Would you like to try something?” she asks. I always say yes, because she’s the professional, isn’t she? It’s not like anything I’ve ever…
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Does This Cartoon Squash Look Like Donald Trump?!?
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like, kind of, right? (photo of cartoon squash courtesy of ME, c/o the previous tenants who put this sticker of a cartoon squash on the refrigerator)
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Don’t Hashtag Pray For Me: Prayer-Shaming On Social Media, By Your Favorite Atheist
ARGH I’m probably going to piss a lot of people off by saying this, but please, bear with me. This whole “Hashtag-Pray-For-Somewhere” shit has GOTTEN OUT OF HAND. So it used to be, back in The Day (which was like, a year ago? Two years ago?), when a catastrophe happened somewhere, you’d…
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7 Things That Made Me Happy To The Point Of Tears This Week
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Wow, you guys, this week has been A DOOZY! DOOZY, I say! There’s been A LOT going on and the weekend is almost upon us! I have a tour in Lower Manhattan on Saturday, and it’s supposed to rain again but like, it rained on me last week! I got this. Anyhoozlebees, here’s the seven things…
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If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another
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When I was 12, I remember seeing the old Saturday Night Live skits starring Gilda Radner, and laughing at Roseanne Roseannadanna. Goofy name! Fluffy hair! Funny faces! And the catchphrase: “Well, it just does to show, if it’s not one thing, it’s another.” I don’t know if there’s another quote that so perfectly encapsulates adulthood. Or, you…
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A Lot Of Bad Things Happen
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From The Washington Post. Okay, we all know he doesn’t pay his taxes, he doesn’t think America is “great,” and now he admits he doesn’t have any faith in the democratic process. What the hell? So, why is it that you want to President, exactly, Donald? You don’t have any political experience, never expressed a…
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Currently… in October 2016
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FEELING: Stressed. Stressed out about the job search, stressed out about money. Stressed about the election, watching everything in the world go wrong. It’s not a happy time, let’s be honest. WATCHING: I only just discovered Zoella, whose vlogs have been the white noise over which I’ve been doing job applications and writing assignments. After binge-watching the only…
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RIP Tim Burton, You Just Got Cancelled.
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Okay, this will probably shock a lot of you: I’ve never cared for Tim Burton’s movies. I still haven’t actually seen The Nightmare Before Christmas. Shocked yet? While I enjoyed Edward Scissorhands at first pass when I saw it years ago, a recent rewatch left me feeling icky. That weird rapey scene with the neighbor lady? Shudder, no thanks.…
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Scary Cakes? GTFO.
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Let’s be honest: Halloween is very much MY BRAND. I’ve been a professional ghost story teller for five years, JFC. Gore + makeup + candy = SOLD. But I can’t get behind this pun. I saw these “Scary Cakes” at the grocery store with my boyfriend over the weekend and I just have to say,…
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Always Bet On Red
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It’s a PERIOD DRAMA! YAY! So I know some of you menstruaters* out there have SUPER REGULAR periods. By that we mean, like, predictable, timely, orderly and organized. I am not one of you. Surprise! My period has always been irregular AF. Sometimes it would come every other week, sometimes not for MONTHS. TRUE STORY:…