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GOOD NEWS! Read This, Because Reading Anything Else On The Internet Is Just Awful And I Can’t Advise It
Yes, this post is late. Very late. I had some times on St. Patrick’s Day, as evidenced by this AMAZING selfie that happened when I tried to take a picture of a dildo at the bar, and opened up forward-facing camera instead, and decided to make this face. Sharing is caring. Blessed be. Whenever somebody…
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So, Microwaves Are Hot Now
Call me #trendy. Microwaves are a trendy topic now, thanks to Kellyanne Conway suggesting that Barack Obama used the common household appliance to spy on Donald J. Trump. If you’re a reader who lives outside America who believes in prayer, feel free to pray for us…. NOW. Everyone who grew up in the last…
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Problematic Celebrity News Corner
“There’s been a new allegation of rape made against that singer who wrote the song that always gets stuck in your head! This will be the 14th claim of rape made against him. The victim, who shall remain anonymous, confirmed that she was underage at the time when the singer in question drugged her drink, but he…
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Giving Up Giving Up Things For Lent For Lent
Read it again: it makes sense. I was raised Catholicish, which means we were really The Most Catholic two times of the year: Christmas and Easter. Both holidays were preceded by a months-long buildup of anticipation at church wherein the man in the pulpit raised his voice and railed about how it was important to…
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Alternate Bachelor Realities
It’s like The Bachelor, but it takes place inside an IKEA. It’s like The Bachelor, but with even more than three token non-white minority contestants. It’s like The Bachelor, but it’s about picking the perfect houseplant. It’s like The Bachelor, but with fluid sexuality and gender identities. It’s like The Bachelor, but for picking a…
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To All The Converse I Have Loved Before
RIP, dark blue Converse (2016-2017). I broke you in on the red rocks of Joshua Tree. I wore you for eight days straight at Burning Man. I slept in you in a tent, because heaven forbid I wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee, I cannot be bothered to put…
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A Response To Mental Floss’s So-Called “Online Dating Red Flags”: The Non-Sex-Negative, Non-Presumptive Edition
I am in a tizzy. I need to respond. Basically, someone wrote this Mental Floss article about “Online Dating Red Flags” which is so horseshit, I couldn’t not say something. Sorry, Danielle Braff! Maybe you were assigned to write this article, and don’t actually believe this crap, but we have to pick apart these 8 bullet points because they’re so shit:…
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LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya
When do I *not* have something up my sleeve? A few days ago, I asked the Twitter and Facebook hive minds to answer the question: WHAT SONGS GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? See, I’d been struggling with having the hook from “Raspberry Beret” in my head for a week. It seems like, whenever I have…
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GOOD NEWS! I’m finally going to get ALL THE EMOJIS this weekend!
Happy Friday, everybody! I’m especially excited for THIS WEEKEND because my boyfriend has promised to help me update my phone to the latest iOS! My phone is still on iOS 7.something, because I’m terrified of updating it. This is where my beloved pops his head in and says “THAT’S BECAUSE YOU HATE CHAAAAANGE!” Yes, that’s…
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Happy International Woman’s Day #IWD2017
I was going to post something entirely different today, or post nothing at all (WOMEN’S STRIKE!) but then, I started thinking about it, and I started getting all misty-eyed about it, and I realized that I really wanted to wish a lot of people Happy Women’s Day, and that it was NOT going to fit…
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Actually, Maybe I *Did* Peak In High School…during the Talent Show auditions, senior year
I spent a lot of time as a teenager afraid. Afraid of what other people would think of me, mostly. Also, afraid of failure. But mostly, afraid of BOTH — failing in front of my peer group while they all laughed and judged me. This is the story of the one time that I threw caution…
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I Invented A Pasta, Don’t @ Me
Yeah, I invented a pasta. I’m going on record as saying that I invented this pasta because I had a craving for something salty and carb-y during my last menstrual period and I let my uterus pick the ingredients. And my uterus was eyeing that bag of brown rice pasta from Trader Joe’s that had been…
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Dear Woodhull Hospital: it’s NOT me…IT’S YOU
Picture it: Sicily, 1922! No, just kidding, more like Brooklyn, six months ago. I’d just had an appointment with my dermatologist and it was time to schedule a six-month follow up with reception and it went a little something like THIS: Receptionist: how about March 3rd at 9:00am? Me, to myself: that’s two days after…
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Currently… in March 2017
FEELING: Excited and inspired. I’ve been working for the past …well, a little over a week… nonstop at the studio I was working at a few months ago. I love love love it. It’s so much fun helping out, and every day I get asked to do something that scares me: power tools, tiny details, complicated maneuvers……
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GOOD NEWS! I’ve been BUSY BUSY BUSY this week and it’s WONDERFUL!
Wow, I don’t even know what to write! So I’ve been working on a project at the studio (again!) since I got back from California and it’s been pretty nonstop but I love it so much. As a result, I’ve been doing precious little else besides working and commuting, so I haven’t really dug up a lot…
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“What Do You Have In This Bag – ROCKS?” Well, Um, YES.
Yes, I was the weird kid who’d stop to pick up a rock off the ground if it was shiny, smooth, OR formed a neat shape (this one looks like a strawberry!). It wasn’t uncommon for me to come home with pockets of rocks. And that’s exactly what the inside of my purse, pockets, and…
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I Went To California and All I Got Was This Sound Bath at The Integratron
What did you do in California, Meghan? Oh, I lay on my back in an acoustically perfect dome built by a retired aircraft mechanic on the directions of visitors from the planet Venus and blissed out to the sounds of quartz singing bowls. NO, REALLY! The Integratron is a thing. High atop a hill…
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California Was So Nice, We (Accidentally) Stayed An Extra Day
You heard me. So you already knew I was going to be in California this weekend, but through some magical invisible force, we would up staying a day longer than we’d originally planned. Yes, yes, I promise I’ll tell you all about Palm Springs, and Joshua Tree, and Los Angeles in another blog post. This…
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Good News! I’m back from California, and I brought the sunshine with me (as well as some rocks)!
Wow. So, yeah. I was in California and it was so nice, we stayed an extra day! No, actually, we missed our flight home, but that’s another blog/story. Point is, we made it back to NYC in time to see The Skin of our Teeth at Theatre For A New Audience, because I helped work on the…
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GOOD NEWS! Rosé-Filled Glasses Edition
Hey hey! What a rollercoaster this week has been! I got my period early — ON VALENTINE’S DAY! — and it was the most painful one I’ve had in a few cycles. But I’m glad it came early, because it was supposed to come this weekend, and this weekend I’m flying to California! Yay! I’m…