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New York, I ❤️ You (And You ❤️ Me Back)
Guys, let me tell you about the New Jersey Turnpike. See, you never really know how much you love something until you lose it. This was how I realized I was stanning Sasha Velour in season 9: when it looked like she might be in danger of having to lip sync for her…
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How Was Your Christmas? I Got My Period!
Yep, so, I was worried about how this Christmas was going to be. I was worried I would be lonely? I was not lonely. I was worried I would be sad? Yes, I was sad, but more importantly — — I got my period! It’s the most on-brand gift for me, honestly, I think.…
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Let Them Smell Cake
Buckle up, here comes a rant of “Marie Antoinette” proportions. #FirstWorldProblems, indeed. But it needs to be said. Or rather, asked: Why does every beauty product smell like “Birthday Cake?”?!?!? I, too, remember the heady days of 2011, when everything was “Birthday Cake” flavored. Birthday Cake truffles! Birthday Cake cookies! Birthday Cake chewing gum!…
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The Year Everything Changed
“They” say that you should never take anything good in life for granted, because – and this is important – life can change in an instant. Well. I know that all too well. 2017 was the year that everything changed. No, I mean, really. I look at where I was in life this…
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Dead People Christmas Playlist!!!
Ho, ho, ho! Christmas is almost here! I’m still trying to ‘get it up’ for this holiday. Yes, honestly. I’m headed “home” for Christmas today after putting in a couple hours at the studio, and you know what I’m going to be listening to while I work? DEAD PEOPLE. Yes my fryends,…
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2017 Favorites
Don’t get me wrong: the *second* the clock hits midnight, I’m erasing 2017 from my memory. It’s GONE. I’m going to repress and re-repress and re-re-repress until 2017 becomes The Year That Never Happened. Like 2012! I’m always forgetting 2012, and with good reason! It blew. It totally blew. And that’s where I intend to put 2017: in…
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In The Cosmic Scheme Of Things, It’s Only A Number
trigger warning: eating disorders This weekend, I accidentally found out how much I weigh. This is a weighty (HA!) subject for me because, as you may or may not know, for YEARS I was OBSESSED with my weight. The number. I weighed myself SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. As does, I suppose, everyone whose entire worth hinges…
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There’s A Place For Us… ? Somewhere ?
Guess what? I guest-starred on a podcast! Yes, AGAIN. My friends at Did You Hear The One…? had me back to tell a LONGER story with A LOT MORE SWEARING! I told a story about one-night stands, puke, and my favorite thing of all: NEW YORK. It actually begins…
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It’s Getting Hot In Here
I said aloud, to the clouds: “So THIS is how it’s gonna be from now on, HUH?” I’m talking, of course, about WINTER. Winter in NYC is funny. As I’ve often said before, it’s summer until it’s winter, and then a switch is FLIPPED. It could be warm enough outside for a sweater…
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Nice Landing
After all the upheaval that was the past few months, I think you’ll be happy to hear that I’ve made a rather nice landing. For example: my landings. Yes, on the landings in between floors of my building, people leave free stuff for everyone to sift through! Old furniture, clothes, dishes, and…
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Okay, NOW I Can Start Getting Jazzed For Christmas
As I begin this draft, it is December 9th, 2017 — the day AFTER John Lennon Day — and big, fat flakes are sticking to the YES STILL GREEN leaves on the tree outside my window. Have I mentioned that I have a window? I’m a lucky girl. Related: I would like some advice on weather-proofing…
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Nothing’s Gonna Change My World
It’s December 9th, and you know what that means. It means that yesterday, I spent NINE AND A HALF HOURS in the cold singing Beatles songs with tourists and fellow fanatics alike. I joke that this is my only religious holiday. Well, no joke. It is. During the daytime, the event is a bit overrun…
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The Day My Blog Died
Trigger warning: suicide, depression. Notice anything NEW??? Yeah that’s right — my BLOG IS BACK! “Meghan, I didn’t even notice it was gone!” Well, that’s because you don’t follow me on Twitter! I cried for an entire DAY about it, and tweeted my feelings while emailing customer service here and there.…
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Currently… in December 2017
FEELING: SO READY for 2017 to be OVER. LOL but don’t @ me if it takes me a while to get used to writing “2018” on things! I’m in a very “letting things go” frame of mind, at the moment. I feel like I’ve come through a lot of #1) shock and subsequent #2)…
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The Glow Up
Every time I sat down to write about The Glow Up, I felt inadequate. Like, I hadn’t glowed-up enough. A Glow Up, if we are to believe popular culture, is when one transforms into a better version of themselves. Ask Mary J. Blige! A Glow Up is imperative after a major setback. Stella got her…
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Being Thankful in 2017
I think I can honestly say that 2017 was probably one of the worst years of my life. YAY, what an uplifting opening! Let’s examine the facts, though: Terrible breakup. My puppy died. Trump was “President.” My armpit psoriasis came back! My Grandma fell terribly ill. My life was moving backwards while…
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I Refuse To Apologize For Going All “New Agey” On You
As of this morning, I have memorized 72 of the 78 cards in the Tarot deck (more or less). And yeah, you can say whatever you want, I DON’T CARE. I’ve bought myself Very Meaningful Crystals to wear, and I’ve started reading my horoscope every place that offers it — Oh, does Bon Appetit…
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Fall TV That Is Pulling Me Through
I love television. I just love television. It’s easy to forget every fall, caught up in the excitement for leaves and scarves and Pumpkin Spice Everything™, that FALL is also the season that television gets GOOD again! (I literally almost typed “television gets GREAT again” but then I realized that I had typed 2/4ths of “Make…
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Ya Gotta Love The Bodega
I love New York. New York loves its bodegas. I love New York bodegas! There is nothing but love in the air of bodegas. And some cat dander because, y’know, bodega cats! They keep the pests away. Sometimes, these pests present themselves in the form of tourists who crinkle their nose at the notion…
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Currently… in November 2017
Well, hello. I guess it’s been awfully quiet around here, huh? Guess I might as well let the cat out of the bag: on October 1st, my boyfriend of 3 1/4 years dumped me. I hate that I’m “that girl” who gets her heart broken and completely shuts down, but, there you have it.…