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Subway = Elevator
A lot of visitors (read = tourists) feel very intimidated by the New York City subway system! I mean, maaaaaybe it has something to do with the fact that actual New Yorkers are endlessly complaining about it. I know it took me a year of living here before I felt fully confident getting around! And…
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Ass To Plastic
It’s 87º — do you know where your ass is? If you’re one of the literally millions of commuters aboard the NYC MTA, chances are, your sweaty upper thighs and gluteus maximuses are sticking right to the plastic seats aboard your chosen train. That’s right. It’s ASS TO PLASTIC SEASON. The phenomenon known as “Ass to Plastic” (or…
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GOOD NEWS! I *FINALLY* Touched Up My Roots!!!
So this week was a week off from the studio, and I made myself to-do lists EVERY DAY. At the top of the list was TOUCH UP MY ROOTS. They were getting to be like 2.5 inches long, and it wasn’t the BEST touch-up job (can we say, “polka dots”?), but it’s a little…
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Things Guys Do On The Subway That We HATE
Playing Shitty Music Out Loud — look at everybody else’s ears. What do you see? Those are called “headphones.” People wear them in public. If you’re wearing headphones and I can still hear your music, then you need to re-evaluate your life. Seriously. Spitting — yo are you brushing your teeth on the D train…
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Quickies! vol. 2
Too long to tweet, too short for a full blog post, it’s Quickies! Happy Day of everybody watching Trump & waiting for him to peel off his ugly face & reveal that he was Joaquin Phoenix all along #AprilFools — Meghan Sara Karre (@MeghanSaraK) April 1, 2016 How to write the perfect dating app bio:…
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The Seven Worst Moments In The Life of a New Yorker
Category is: Law & Order intro realness. Yes, they’ve all happened: 1. The pounding bass line that’s keeping you from sleeping on a weeknight has gotten so irritating that you venture, bleary-eyed and pajama-clad, into the brightly lit hallway of your apartment building only to discover that the offending apartment, the Party Animals, the horrific…
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Subway Report Card
Every year, the NYPIRG Straphangers Campaign evaluate every line of the NYC Subway according to their criteria and rank it from BEST to WORST, publishing a “Subway Report Card” to help us know which lines to avoid. How do they determine which subways are up to snuff and which can suck it? By asking themselves,…
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A Gentleman’s Guide to Street Harassment
What’s up, Ladies? Being a woman, as statistically most of you are, you’ve been street harassed, and you probably didn’t like it. But this is Major News to the minority 49% of the population of the world (also known as “that guy who shouted that inappropriate thing at me”), so do me a favour. Find…
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#tbt My Blog Turns 5!
So apparently, I started this little blog FIVE YEARS ago! Woohoo! Originally, my posts were short (like tweets) but now they’re…um…less so? And it may interest you to know that when I first started this blog, I loved to rhyme. So for my blog’s fifth birthday, I would like to regale you with three of…
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Nuts in the Fruit Department
This is the reason why I’ll never again shop at the Key Foods on 146th Street. I just went in for some apples, oranges, tuna and cottage cheese. I picked up a basket and headed to the apple section when I noticed something…off. There was an elderly couple, a man and a woman, standing in…
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If You See This Man…
…punch him in the eye. He was sitting next to me on the 3 Train this weekend, taking up the better part of three seats when one would have sufficed, wiggling around and generally having terrible train etiquette. As the train approached 96th Street, I started to rise from my seat to get off…
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Blogtember #10: Working Girl
Source To the working woman of New York Enduring the sweltering heat in your chrysalis of linen sheath dress Carrying your pumps to work, fluffing open the New York Times, steady hand applying mascara on the unsteadiest of vehicles! Full of that potential one can only have before the 9-5 Grind. Repeated gestures betray habits…
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Blogtember #6: I Don’t Care
From the moment she saw me like this, her face crumpled into a grimace of disgust. Whispering tersely into her companion’s ear while glaring at me, they inched through the crowded train to be further away from me. She had seen the bandage covering the second half of my fresh tattoo, and she wanted nothing…
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Ain’t That Some Shit
Ahhh, the MTA. Ain’t that some shit for your Monday morning commute.
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Summer Lovin’
You know what totally doesn’t conduct unnecessary heat? Black plastic bandages. SARCASM! Summer in New York City can be…less than pleasant to most. That’s why there’s the cliche of the locals fleeing to the Hamptons. Those with the means literally head for the hill. Ain’t ya never seen The Seven Year Itch? Poor dude abandoned…
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Headphones In
In New York City, there is an accepted decorum for addressing someone on the train when they have their headphones in: YOU DON’T. There are exceptions, of course: 1. If they dropped something important and haven’t noticed: a large wad of cash, their iPhone, their baby. Anything else, LEAVE THEM ALONE. 2. If you are…
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The Key To Hitting It Off With Strangers
Crowded 1 Train, headphones in. Trying my best to squish into an impossibly tiny space while carrying armloads of groceries, keys in hand. A stranger taps me on the shoulder. “So nice to meet another Doctor Who fan!” Earphones come out. The older gentleman and I launch into an extensive conversation about the new direction…
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New York Doesn’t Heart You Back
My first response upon seeing this headline: Went a little something like this: In case you didn’t know this from reading my blog, tourists are awful, awful people. They treat locals rudely, and treat the city like Disneyland. Excuse me, but this is a real-life place, not some made-up Narnia. Stopping in the middle of…
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Parking Lot
I admit, I gripe a lot about the subway on here. The subway and I have a love/hate thing going on. I love the idea of getting in a tunnel and, minutes later, being MILES away. At it’s best, it is fast, whimsical, orderly, and friendly. LIKE ME. At other times, like when you’re trying…
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Beyond Belief
Today’s Scintilla Project prompt (I can’t believe it’s almost over waaaah!) is to write about something incredible and unbelievable. Sorry to say, I always do and always have. If you want, you can re-read about: …the time I pulled at the laundromat : “Thirty minutes later, the laundry owner approached me with the…