Posts Tagged 'subway misadventures'

Pedophobe

The way I understand it, babies are sacks of goo that can erupt at any moment. That’s why we swaddle them in diapers, plug them with pacifiers and suction their noses with tiny little turkey baster things. No offense intended,

/ No comments

Pedophobe

The way I understand it, babies are sacks of goo that can erupt at any moment. That’s why we swaddle them in diapers, plug them with pacifiers and suction their noses with tiny little turkey baster things. No offense intended,

/ No comments

How To Meet Cute Boys On The Subway

Step One:  Follow him onto the train like the scent of a pie cooling on a windowsill.  Situate yourself where you have a perfect view. Step Two:  Stare.  Drool. Step Three:  Silently will them to look up at you.  Bore

/ One Comment

How To Meet Cute Boys On The Subway

Step One:  Follow him onto the train like the scent of a pie cooling on a windowsill.  Situate yourself where you have a perfect view. Step Two:  Stare.  Drool. Step Three:  Silently will them to look up at you.  Bore

/ One Comment

Don’t Try to Copy My Swagga

Dear Sir, I appreciate your look.  Belted cinched fur coat, dirty Chuck Taylors, slouchy disaffected glare. I liked it even better when I WORE IT FIRST. Thanks ever so. Love, The Original Fierce Gangsta

/ One Comment

Don’t Try to Copy My Swagga

Dear Sir, I appreciate your look.  Belted cinched fur coat, dirty Chuck Taylors, slouchy disaffected glare. I liked it even better when I WORE IT FIRST. Thanks ever so. Love, The Original Fierce Gangsta

/ One Comment

Do The Right Thing

I think I have a bit of a “Hero Complex.” Last week at work, near closing time, a young teenaged girl approached me with wet eyelashes and red nose, asking if anyone had turned in a white iPhone.  Instead of

/ One Comment

Do The Right Thing

I think I have a bit of a “Hero Complex.” Last week at work, near closing time, a young teenaged girl approached me with wet eyelashes and red nose, asking if anyone had turned in a white iPhone.  Instead of

/ One Comment

Thanks for the Consideration, MTA

Apparently, according to the MTA, the biggest problem facing New Yorkers is NOT the rising costs, the decrease in service, the unpredictability of the trains, higher cost and less service.  It’s people getting hit by trains. People.  Getting hit.  By

/ One Comment

Thanks for the Consideration, MTA

Apparently, according to the MTA, the biggest problem facing New Yorkers is NOT the rising costs, the decrease in service, the unpredictability of the trains, higher cost and less service.  It’s people getting hit by trains. People.  Getting hit.  By

/ One Comment

Say Something

Source: retronaut.co via Dayle on Pinterest “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an important announcement from the New York City Police Department.  Protect yourself.  If you see a suspicious activity on the platform or train,  DO NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF…”

/ 3 Comments

Say Something

Source: retronaut.co via Dayle on Pinterest “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an important announcement from the New York City Police Department.  Protect yourself.  If you see a suspicious activity on the platform or train,  DO NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF…”

/ 3 Comments

Duck…Duck…Sauce

I see a lot of bizarre things on the subway.  I mean, you know that.  Exotic dancing toddlers.  Pop and lock squads.  Michael Jackson impersonators.  People eating soup.  That one almost takes the cake.  Speaking of food, what’s that on

/ No comments

Duck…Duck…Sauce

I see a lot of bizarre things on the subway.  I mean, you know that.  Exotic dancing toddlers.  Pop and lock squads.  Michael Jackson impersonators.  People eating soup.  That one almost takes the cake.  Speaking of food, what’s that on

/ No comments

Bon Mots from the Crazy Guy on the Train

“There are two reasons I don’t drink from the toilet anymore:  Number One, and Number Two.” “I can’t stand sitting and I can’t sit standing.” “I have good news and bad news for you.” “What is it, doctor?” “The bad

/ 3 Comments

Bon Mots from the Crazy Guy on the Train

“There are two reasons I don’t drink from the toilet anymore:  Number One, and Number Two.” “I can’t stand sitting and I can’t sit standing.” “I have good news and bad news for you.” “What is it, doctor?” “The bad

/ 3 Comments

All You Single Ladies!

Attention, “Females”! Don’t despair in being single and lonely!  Come to New York City, where “maybe romance” is just around the corner! Well-adjusted men with not just one, but TWO telephone numbers are waiting to meet YOU for “one nite

/ One Comment

All You Single Ladies!

Attention, “Females”! Don’t despair in being single and lonely!  Come to New York City, where “maybe romance” is just around the corner! Well-adjusted men with not just one, but TWO telephone numbers are waiting to meet YOU for “one nite

/ One Comment

Voyeur

Perhaps it’s a sick hobby, but I adore people-watching.  Birds all look the same.  People are amazing.  We’re frail and guarded and vulnerable and stoic.  Never more so than on the subway.  It’s such a bizarre conceit:  we’re all crammed

/ 6 Comments

Voyeur

Perhaps it’s a sick hobby, but I adore people-watching.  Birds all look the same.  People are amazing.  We’re frail and guarded and vulnerable and stoic.  Never more so than on the subway.  It’s such a bizarre conceit:  we’re all crammed

/ 6 Comments

Takin’ It To The Seats

There is an epidemic of rudeness on the A train whereby people – hell, MEN – take up more than one seat by deliberately spreading their legs apart. This is just NOT OKAY.  Some of them may not be aware

/ 2 Comments

Takin’ It To The Seats

There is an epidemic of rudeness on the A train whereby people – hell, MEN – take up more than one seat by deliberately spreading their legs apart. This is just NOT OKAY.  Some of them may not be aware

/ 2 Comments

Beat Poetry, OR the Ravings of an Unstable Lunatic?

Endless coverup of the Ponzi scheme Look at this white trash prostitute putting on airs. Welcome to the Ponzi scheme Carrot cake Carrot cake for your girlfriend Gail And Susan and Ellen and the whole coven of white trash prostitutes.

/ 3 Comments

Beat Poetry, OR the Ravings of an Unstable Lunatic?

Endless coverup of the Ponzi scheme Look at this white trash prostitute putting on airs. Welcome to the Ponzi scheme Carrot cake Carrot cake for your girlfriend Gail And Susan and Ellen and the whole coven of white trash prostitutes.

/ 3 Comments

New York, I Love You

Source “Thank you for the seat,” the lovely blonde woman smiled politely at the tall, white-haired man who now settled onto the bench next to her.  “It’s such a long trip from 59th to 125th Street, you see what I

/ No comments

New York, I Love You

Source “Thank you for the seat,” the lovely blonde woman smiled politely at the tall, white-haired man who now settled onto the bench next to her.  “It’s such a long trip from 59th to 125th Street, you see what I

/ No comments

Personal Space

Coming home last night at 10pm, I met my favourite neighbors in the lobby on their way out to walk their dog. As I always do when coming home alone after dark (which is now 5pm, thank you Daylight Savings

/ 3 Comments

Personal Space

Coming home last night at 10pm, I met my favourite neighbors in the lobby on their way out to walk their dog. As I always do when coming home alone after dark (which is now 5pm, thank you Daylight Savings

/ 3 Comments