You know what totally doesn’t conduct unnecessary heat?  Black plastic bandages.  SARCASM!

Summer in New York City can be…less than pleasant to most.  That’s why there’s the cliche of the locals fleeing to the Hamptons.  Those with the means literally head for the hill.  Ain’t ya never seen The Seven Year Itch?  Poor dude abandoned by his family to the sweltering city summer! 

But there’s plenty of awesome things about the city summer!  For starters, catching a subway breeze up your skirt!  Sure it’s warm, smelly underground air, but you feel like Marilyn Monroe!  Fancy city girl tossing caution to the wind, not caring if construction workers see your undies or if Joe DiMaggio gets jealous!  It’s fun and youthful and sexy!

Speaking of sexy, everyone knows New Yorkers are the best-looking people in the world.  In the summertime, everyone runs around pretty much naked!  I’ve noticed that crop tops are very in this season and it’s awesome to see women of all shapes and sizes embracing the trend in cool and fashionable ways.

And while everyone’s naked and crushed together on the subway train, nobody wants to be the guy or girl who smells bad, so everyone busts out their best summer cologne!  Sandwiched between sexy, good-smelling, half-naked New Yorkers and jostled about?  It’s like the best moving nightclub ever!

But why bother even taking the subway?  It’s beautiful out, so you can walk everywhere!  It’s the perfect opportunity to get to know a new nabe or just keep up to speed on the changes in your own!  And while you’re strolling about…

Have some ice cream!  Ice cream is ubiquitous!  From the Mister Softee trucks on seemingly every corner to the thousands of new FroYo shops opening every day, ice cream is everywhere!  Not satisfied with plain vanilla, New Yorkers raise ice cream to an ART FORM.  Practically anything you can imagine, any dietary need, any wacky flavor, is EVERYWHERE.

Like maybe take a walking tour perhaps, of the ghost variety?  Shameless plug, hint hint.

So instead of complaining about it, give in to the heat!  It’s the cheapest sauna around!  Much as I love to visit family in the summer, my heart always catches in my throat with excitement when I step out of the Port Authority Bus Terminal’s air conditioning and into buzzing Times Square, where the humidity and smells coat your skin like silk and stick with you.  Enjoy the weather while it lasts!  Because before you know it, all those sexy people will be bundled up in coats, the subway will be just another commute, and the magic of summer will be all gone until next year!