These five simple questions will help you determine your Social Media SOULMATE!!! 1. You meet three of your best friends for brunch! Yay! What do you spend the meal doing? a. Filling everyone in on which of your friends are pregnant or engaged b. Cracking witty observational quips about the specials with the waitress –…
Tag: snark
Re-Consider These Jobs for Desperate Unemployed Go-Getters!
You’re driven! You’re talented! You’re a self-motivated, self-described “overachiever”! You’re currently unemployed. You’re still passionate about finding a job where you can put your skills to work, live your best life, create something you can be proud of and be rewarded for your attention to detail and zeal for perfection! But you’re getting a little…
Graveyard of Dead Blogger Cliches
Hang around the blogging community long enough and you will become familiar with its clichés. Like, remember that year we were all obsessed with chevron? EVERYTHING had to be chevron – blog banners, blog backgrounds, EXPECIALLY blog buttons! Why, you just weren’t a serious blogger if you sported plain horizontal stripes – they had to…
Guilty Pleasure Wedding Reality Show
VO: This week on Guilty Pleasure Wedding Show, a natural blonde in her early-mid-twenties plans the wedding of her dreams to her 5%-less-attractive-than-her-but-inexplicably-wealthy-despite-working-for-his-father fiancee. We’ll watch as they drama unfolds while she attempts to live out a princess fantasy for some reason and he counters her at every turn by picking a fight. Abandon your…
Had A Dream About You, Baby
Yeah, this post steals it’s title from a Bob Dylan song, but no, it’s not about Bob Dylan, but it is about something that makes my skin crawl. The other night I had a dream that I had a baby. Don’t worry, I’m not about to describe some horrible gory nightmare birth, this isn’t the…
Background
So, I posted here that a couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to perform as “background” on a pilot that was shooting in NYC! Here’s what I learned: CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve been cast as WOMAN AT BAR in the exciting pilot production of UNTITLED PILOT TBA !!! You’ve got a call time just after dawn,…
Subway Report Card
Every year, the NYPIRG Straphangers Campaign evaluate every line of the NYC Subway according to their criteria and rank it from BEST to WORST, publishing a “Subway Report Card” to help us know which lines to avoid. How do they determine which subways are up to snuff and which can suck it? By asking themselves,…
15 Minutes of Fame and Frappuccino
It’s finally happened, guys. When I started this blog over six years ago, I wanted to be a serious blogger. With hundreds of followers, daily comments, and a community of readers following my every word and it. has. finally. happened. WOW! This is what it feels like! THE BIG TIME! I never dreamed of getting…
School Shooting Curriculum
Since school shootings are just commonplace now, with no end in sight, and “safety drills” aren’t effectively saving any lives, we must now resign ourselves to the fact that sending a child into the classroom to learn is in reality, sending them up before a firing squad. School used to prepare kids for the future: …
Dress Code Rules
School is back in session this year and already a hot topic: DRESS CODES! What girls wear, or don’t wear, can make or break an educational environment. You see, without strict dress codes dictating what girls can wear, female students will just wear whatever clothes they feel comfortable in, just like the little unrepentent whores…
The Hyde Amendment
The Year is 2015, and the House of Representatives has just voted to defund Planned Parenthood. “We don’t want our tax dollars to pay for abortions!” they wail. And that’s where I come in. To the concerned parties: Don’t worry. We will have/already had your back. In the year 2136, a group of Highly Talented…
Blog Posts I Will Never Write
Hola! I’m in the desert (eek!) by the time you read this, so it’s not like I’m blogging anything at the moment. But for the love of clickbait, I swear to you, I will never write anything remotely close to these titles I see popping up in my feed all the time. Aren’t we all…