Tag: rants
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We Have To Talk About Batgirl
I know I’m tardy to the party here, but I just – *just* got my hands on Batgirl #35 – the now infamous “new Batgirl” – and am desperate to have discussion about it. See, I have two friends – both dudes – one who hated it and the other liked it. I’m inclined to…
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To The Infant I Couldn't Stop Staring At In The Laundromat
hi, little guy. I hope I didn’t creep you out by staring at you in your impossibly tiny sweatsuit. I doubt if you even noticed – your eyes wide and flicking all over the room, pausing on each new amazing sight to process and file it away. everything is new and nothing is taken for…
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30
I’ve spent the better part of the past year – maybe even longer – fretting about my impending 30th birthday. it seems like such a monumental number. like New Year’s Eve, or Daylight Savings. when the clock flips over on midnight, I will be thirty. everything different. a whole new decade. I will be changed.…
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Storied Lives
Telling stories is just in my blood, I guess. As a child, my dad’s autobiographical rambles were often met with groans at the dinner table. Yet I remember them now. My mother was a professional storyteller – she even got paid! Sometimes in pie. That’s a true story. So I suppose ending up as an…
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Private Property
I have been reading the reactions to the Isla Vista killings like I can’t get enough. Elliot Rodgers acting out in violence because he felt entitled to female attention struck a chord with me and rattled me in a very personal way. You see, earlier this year I had to seek legal intervention to prevent…
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Functionally Funked
One of the best decisions I ever made in my adult life was to spend a year getting weekly therapy. At the time, I felt trapped, hopeless, alone, and desperate – in a way that I’d felt many times in the past. Thankfully, I was able to seek the help of a professional – two,…
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Fake Geeks on the Internet
First, they came for the Fake Geek Girls. A crazy uproar on the internet about girls “pretending” to like “geeky things” “for the attention.” So many air-quotes, I may have accidentally rerouted planes from JFK. And that’s because I have so many ragey feelings on the matter that I can’t keep my fingers still. Then,…
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Ugly Naked Gal
An open letter to the creep pointing and laughing at me from across the alley: Dear Jerk, So you’ve noticed I like walking around my apartment naked. Yes, when home alone, I walk around my apartment naked. I’m sure most people do. I’ve been walking around naked at this particular address since August 2012. Here…
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Dangerous Town
When you decide to make the move to New York City, you will find that the people around you never seem to tire of warning you how dangerous it will be. But, as I like to say, when desire surpasses fear, you will be surprised what you’re able to endure. And you will tune their…
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Not Hiding Under The Covers
There’s been a lot said lately, for one reason or another, about how brief life is. Friends, family, all dwelling on the idea of acting now while there’s still time because nothing is guaranteed. And then somebody called me “fearless.” FEARLESS. I quite like the word. Is it fearless to chase what you want regardless…
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As Though You Have Never Been Hurt Before
I’m sure you’ve all seen this quote before: I know I’ve seen this quote a bunch and I always dismissed it as being a little bit insipid. Oh yeah, live life with abandon, blah blah blah. Of course, now I appreciate the last line a little more as an Atheist. It’s the second line that’s…
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Reality Check
What really sucks about death is that it shows us how much we take for granted. My own dear father recently lamented that he’d always imagined growing old surrounded by the ones he loved, when a scare showed him that such a future might not be possible. Death is that reality check. We don’t know…
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Technical Difficulties
Ever have one of those days? I swear it all started when I tried to update my iPhone 4 from iOS 5, which I have been happily using FOR YEARS, to iOS 7 so I can use the updated version of Skype. WELL. Not only did it not take for HOURS, but it caused a…
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Love Is Like Bubble Gum
I. Love is Like Bubble Gum Love is like Bubble Gum. At first, it’s really hard. Then it’s SO SWEET. For like, a minute. And then it starts to break apart. But you keep chewing it because you don’t want to believe that it’s already over. And when you finally spit it out, you can…
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What We Learned This Christmas
Last year, I never got to see my family for Christmas. And I was miserable. This time around, it had been six months since I had seen any member of my family. Oh, the old story: working too hard, not enough time, costs too much to travel… But I realized something. I missed my…
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Tiny Bed
Tiny bed, I love you. I grew up in double beds. Full-sized. Living like a Queen. I must admit, when I picked you out at the Ikea outlet, I was a bit panicked. Would I ever be satisfied with such a small bed? WOULD I EVEN FIT IN SUCH A SMALL BED? No, I can’t…
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Poo-Pourri: I Am Not Making This Shit Up
I finally saw the full ad for Poo-Pourri, a product that promises to completely eliminate toilet odors from your life forever and ever. It’s real. And apparently, it works, too. But watching the video left me with a crappy feeling. Here’s another company trying to make money off our insecurities, screamed my gut. Look, fact…
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Atheist Christmas Carols!
Alternet has clearly read my mind this year: they’ve produced a fairly good list of Atheist-friendly Christmas songs! Songs that do not mention Jesus, God, Saints, Angels, Miracles, or Virgin Births…because while Atheists may not like those things, we do loooove music. We need it for our baby-eating rituals! Check out the list, it’s interesting…
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Atheist Christmas…?
It’s a subject that’s been on my mind a lot lately. How does an Atheist celebrate Christmas? I’m not just talking about an “opt out” option, where you ignore the holiday altogether. I know people who do this: treat the day as if it were no different than any other bank holiday (Arbor Day!) and…
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Thanksgiving is the new Black Friday
Black Friday – like Thanksgiving – has come and gone, but I’m still not quite over it. I’m sure some of you out there spent your T-gives fighting others consumers for The Hawtest Dealz in town. You probably thought, “What’s the harm? I’m not spending thanksgiving with my family, I might as well go shopping.”…