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School Shooting Curriculum
Since school shootings are just commonplace now, with no end in sight, and “safety drills” aren’t effectively saving any lives, we must now resign ourselves to the fact that sending a child into the classroom to learn is in reality, sending them up before a firing squad. School used to prepare kids for the future: …
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A Gentleman’s Guide to Street Harassment
What’s up, Ladies? Being a woman, as statistically most of you are, you’ve been street harassed, and you probably didn’t like it. But this is Major News to the minority 49% of the population of the world (also known as “that guy who shouted that inappropriate thing at me”), so do me a favour. Find…
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Cylons At Home
I don’t actually know how I feel about this, but my house is wired. Networked. Vulnerable to Cylon attack. I live with intelligent computers who secretly hate me. Okay, that’s a little dramatic. Maybe they just don’t like me. This has been a scorching summer, one for the record books. The first thing we set…
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Don’t Let Them See You Wash Your Face
Everyone, everywhere has an opinion about what you should not do in the presence of your SigOth (that’s SIGnificant OTHer, for the uninitiated). Most people agree it’s best not to pick your nose in front of your partner, and “pooping” seems to be there across the board as well, but there’s one horrific sight that…
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Greetings and Salutations
The first step to meeting new people is saying hello. This is also the most dangerous step! There are so many ways to greet and be greeted and, if you’re awkward and terrified like me, these are fraught with peril. A simple, “Hello, nice to meet you,” can appear cold and frigid. People often want…
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Book Challenge
On the road to being considered “banned,” a book must first be “challenged.” Fun fact! When a book is “challenged,” it is debated based on its merits and themes, to be certain that it meets the same moral standards as put forth in fine, upstanding pieces of popular literature, such as the best-selling Fifty Shades…
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If I Dated Fozzie Bear…
Today we discuss what would happen if I, hypothetically, dated Fozzie Bear. Why date Fozzie Bear, you ask? Well, Kermit is unavailable, Gonzo is too desperate, Rowlf is clearly married to his career. And Doctor Teeth & Electric Mayhem? I’ve dated enough “musicians” (read: one) to know that’s a bad idea. PROS: He’s a bear! …
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Living With Roommates vs. A SigOth
As soon as you announce that blissful decision: “We’re moving in together!” well-meaning advice mongerers will load your ears with fears about living with a partner. So much has been said about the drawbacks, that I want to preach the benefits! When you live with a roommate, you are a constant thorn in their…
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Sunday Stealing: Funky Twenty-Five
1. Most unflattering hairstyle you ever had? What made it so unflattering? I got a really unfortunate bang trim a while back and actually stopped going to that hairdresser because of it! I don’t really know how to explain what she did, so here’s a picture – it made my forehead look like a toe. …
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Street Harassment Selfie
To everyone who actually buys that myth that looking “too hot” and walking alone late at night on the street is the reason women get harassed: below is a picture I snapped of mysself less than 50 feet from where, on Sunday, March 22nd at 5:57pm, a strange man brushed himself against my arm as…
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The Person I Am Not
I’m not a “dainty jewelry” person… I’m a big, sparkly, four-rings-at-a-time, wear a pewter vertebrae around my neck person. I see people wearing thin silver bands and dainty diamond necklaces and think, “That’s so pretty, feminine, and subtle,” I immediately realize that much as I would like to pull off a thin chain around my…
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Kill the Poor
When I quit my dead-end retail job to pursue the goal of becoming a teacher, I knew it would be hard. That’s why I didn’t leap at the dream the first time around. This year, I was offered a job that would put my foot in the door to achieving my dream. And as predicted,…
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In Cold Blood
The Golden Rule is: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” The Golden Rule of the Internet is: “If you can’t say something nice, at least say something funny.” That in mind, I would like to declare that In Cold Blood by Truman Capote is like the worst murder mystery ever…
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Gimme Summa Dat Love and Affection
“Love is touchTouch is loveLove is reachingReaching loveLove is askingto be loved.” “Love” by John Lennon A week out from Valentine’s Day and I still won’t quit talking about love. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, and you know what? I’m not sorry. Love is all you need. Love is a many-splendored thing. Love is…really…
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Owning It
This week celebrates a kind of monumental anniversary for me. Last year, I had to put an end to an unfortunate situation that I found myself in. I share this in the hopes that my story helps someone else own something that’s happening – or has happened – to them. On July 28th, 2012, I…
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Skin Sack and Poop Factory
What a title. Bear with me. In a conversation with my boyfriend some weeks back, the idea of self-image came up. I divulged that when I think of myself as a physical being, the first thing that comes to mind is a misshapen skin sack. The skin of my body: scars, tattoos, fat, hair, rashes,…
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I Heart Valentine’s Day
Say what you like – bitter denizens of the internet. Valentine’s Day absolutely rules. For one thing, it’s SO much better than Christmas. Christmas is a weirdly-religious holiday when you’re obligated to buy presents for people to prove that you love them. It’s also hectic and crazy, shoves itself in your face for MONTHS before…
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Used
While doing unabashed snooping for Valentine’s Day gifts, I asked my boyfriend what kinds of things he likes. That’s a pretty general question, right? His reply: Things that become more of themselves the more that they are used. Huh? Here’s a good example of this: we were in Pottery Barn a few weeks back and…
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5 Fandom Friday: Blogging Resolutions
There’s always room for improvement! And while I’ve been mostly pleased with my commitment to my blog this year, I have some clear ideas of how to improve it for next year: 1. MOAR PICTURES I’ve been pretty lax about picture-taking in general, and I love looking at other blogs with juicy pictures of REAL…
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Batman: Endgame
Confession: I’m getting kind of tired of the Joker. I got through Death of the Family but just barely: those rambling romantic Batman/Joker dialogues nearly lost me forever. But when a friend tipped me off that Batman: Endgame was going to be epic, I had to check it out. My first impression was…not the best.…