Ugly Naked Gal

An open letter to the creep pointing and laughing at me from across the alley:

Dear Jerk,

So you’ve noticed I like walking around my apartment naked.  Yes, when home alone, I walk around my apartment naked.  I’m sure most people do.  I’ve been walking around naked at this particular address since August 2012.  Here it is, almost two years later, and you’re the first person to notice.

I’m not angry because you noticed, either.  I’m angry because you laughed.  Maybe you laughed because I’m not in the best of shape.  I don’t really care.  Maybe you pointed and laughed when I saw you because you startled me.  You thought I thought I could get away with eating a handful of yogurt-covered raisins in the buff in my own kitchen while drawing a late-morning bath and HAW HAW I’m naked.  Maybe you sit at the window all day hoping to catch neighbors in the nude – Bare Rear Window. 

This is why I am angry.  I am angry because I pay good money and work very hard to pay for this apartment.  I am angry because your laughter made me feel shameful about being naked in my own home.  MY HOME.  Not yours.  Get out of my house.  Get out of my head. 

Signed,

the Ugly Naked Gal

4 thoughts on “Ugly Naked Gal

    1. It's a play on a Friends reference – they used to be able to see into their neighbor's window and watch him all the time, referring to him as the "Ugly Naked Guy"

  1. Weeirdo! I don't know how he laughed, but it may have just been the surprise of a nudie neighbour! But if it wasn't the surprise, then that guy is an asshole. Don't let him stop you! xx

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