Poo-Pourri: I Am Not Making This Shit Up

I finally saw the full ad for Poo-Pourri, a product that promises to completely eliminate toilet odors from your life forever and ever.  It’s real.  And apparently, it works, too.

But watching the video left me with a crappy feeling.  Here’s another company trying to make money off our insecurities, screamed my gut.  Look, fact is, sometimes, shit stinks.  It’s not supposed to smell pretty.  It’s a natural function of your body ridding itself of waste and unnecessary materials.  And it’s definitely not an indication of your failure as a human being!

Look, we’re all people.  Even WOMEN.  Women are people too.  And we poop.  And fart.  And burp.  And we get sick and sweat and feel pain and bleed.  We get pimples and cold sores and gray hairs and sometimes we even get green things stuck in our teeth!  And SO WHAT?!? 

You know, of all the things we lie awake torturing ourselves over – our crow’s feet, cellulite, leg hair – I cannot imagine anyone else lying awake worried about OUR crow’s feet, OUR cellulite, OUR legs.  Everyone’s conditioned to believe that THEY THEMSELVES YES YOU are the WORLD’S MOST HIDEOUS CREATURE but you can abate this slightly albeit only slightly if you BUY THIS PRODUCT:

So if you’re worried that your poo smells so bad that it keeps you awake at night until finally you’ve found the solution…get over yourself.  Light a match, if it bothers you that much.  Seriously.

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