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A Personal Day
At my last session, my therapist told me to do something for myself this week. On Sunday, I had the entire day to catch up, get ahead, and take care. Here’s what I did. repotted 1/3 of my succulents touched up the blonde on my roots went grocery shopping bought…
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Is This The Greatest Yodel-Based Power Ballad In The History Of The World?
Yes. Wait, you wanted more than that? Bring it on, bring it on, I’m a dreamer. “Yodel It!”, the Romanian entry to the Eurovision song contest, is so good that it makes me forget that I’m an American, and my country is falling apart while Europe hosts a song contest. “Yodel It!” reminds me of…
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Yes, I Actually Floated In A Sensory Deprivation Tank (Mostly)
It’s the day after my float, and I want to write down everything while I still have a thin crust of salt in my forearm hairs. So I want it on record that *I* was the one who had this wacky idea in the first place. It was at a health foods store in California where my…
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New Neighbors
New York City is a diverse, fascinating place to live. You never know who you’re going to meet! And one’s own neighborhood can be a thrilling opportunity to get to know people from all sorts of exotic cultures. Why, take a look at my new neighbors! Just a few months ago, some new neighbors moved in…
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I Got The Power
I wanted to pop in a week after this post and give you an update on my medical situation, but since then, the health and welfare of the entire country has gone critical. I can’t believe it actually happened, but Tr*mpcare passed the HOR. REALLY?! I mean, HOW?!? We have to stop this from passing the Senate. I’m hopeful, but not exactly confident, considering just…
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Currently… in May 2017
FEELING: Busy! I’m worried about my right hand, but you know something? I really handle “busy” very well. When I’m busy, I’m more motivated to get more things done. Are you that way, too? I mean, not always important things. Have you noticed that I’ve been blogging like, every day this week? And yesterday, I bought 24…
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Good News: Some Things Shouldn’t Make Me Laugh (But They Do)
First of all, please go to this website and watch the video of the doggo who learned how to eat whipped cream straight from the canister. GO! And now for the obvious joke: “What breed of dog is this? Is she a “WHIP-IT?” Omg sometimes my brilliance hurts, it really hurts. You’re in for a…
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I Wasn’t “Counting On” Loving This Duggar Spinoff But, Well, Here We Are
Before you click through, rolling your eyes and scoffing Meghan, come on, what are you thinking?, you should hear me out on this one. And know, too, that I have always found 19 Kids and Counting extremely difficult to watch. The hallmarks of 19KaC didn’t make for very good entertainment, so I thought. Once the initial shock of such a…
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Let The People Live
1 Day post-Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino — is the world really that much worse for having had the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino? Yep, this is a piece about the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino. Everybody’s been fuh-reeeeking out about it. It has sugar! It’s Insta-bait! It’s…trendy? It’s marketed towards women which automatically make it ripe for mockery. TRUTHFACTS! But the shitstorm of backlash…
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Words and Phrases That Make Me Vomit In My Mouth
Why does everyone hate on “moist” so much? I have no problem with “moist” — the first image it drums up is the gleaming laminated cardboard of a Betty Crocker boxed cake mix, “Double Moist Funfetti Cake.” Mmm, moist. Sadly, I have sworn off the gluten because it makes me violently heave, much like…
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Is It Spring? Yes, It’s Spring! A Poem.
If the trees are sprouting leaves And you’re wearing short sleeves And the wine in your glass is rosé If you’re delinquent on your taxes You don’t even need to aks us “Is it spring?” BECAUSE ITS SPRING HIP HIP HOORAY!!! ? ? ? If an asshole in a truck Asks you…
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Springtime in New York Is A Lie: Know Ye The Signs
There are some who will tell you that the weather in New York City is unpredictable. They are full of bullshit. It’s actually very easy to predict the change of seasons in New York City after you’ve experienced it a few times. For years, I promoted the idea that In New York, It Is Winter Until…
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Currently… in April 2017
FEELING: Well, tbh, I have the flu. The head/chest/cough kind! It’s deeply frustrating because I’m super busy with studio work, I’m working on exciting new projects, and the tours have been poppin’ off like wild lately! But you know me: I love having a purpose. Have you heard of ‘The Actor’s Cure’? It’s like,…
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Recovering From Sub-Optimal Conditions
I had a bunch of other stuff I wanted to share today, but then two things failed: One, WordPress. Two, my digestive system. I think the pair are related, like in the landmark health resource “Our Blogs, Our Selves.” Ha ha! Silly joke. Pass the Pepto. So basically, WordPress isn’t letting me insert tweets and instagrams into…
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To All The Converse I Have Loved Before
RIP, dark blue Converse (2016-2017). I broke you in on the red rocks of Joshua Tree. I wore you for eight days straight at Burning Man. I slept in you in a tent, because heaven forbid I wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee, I cannot be bothered to put…
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GOOD NEWS! I’m finally going to get ALL THE EMOJIS this weekend!
Happy Friday, everybody! I’m especially excited for THIS WEEKEND because my boyfriend has promised to help me update my phone to the latest iOS! My phone is still on iOS 7.something, because I’m terrified of updating it. This is where my beloved pops his head in and says “THAT’S BECAUSE YOU HATE CHAAAAANGE!” Yes, that’s…
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Happy International Woman’s Day #IWD2017
I was going to post something entirely different today, or post nothing at all (WOMEN’S STRIKE!) but then, I started thinking about it, and I started getting all misty-eyed about it, and I realized that I really wanted to wish a lot of people Happy Women’s Day, and that it was NOT going to fit…
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Actually, Maybe I *Did* Peak In High School…during the Talent Show auditions, senior year
I spent a lot of time as a teenager afraid. Afraid of what other people would think of me, mostly. Also, afraid of failure. But mostly, afraid of BOTH — failing in front of my peer group while they all laughed and judged me. This is the story of the one time that I threw caution…
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Dear Woodhull Hospital: it’s NOT me…IT’S YOU
Picture it: Sicily, 1922! No, just kidding, more like Brooklyn, six months ago. I’d just had an appointment with my dermatologist and it was time to schedule a six-month follow up with reception and it went a little something like THIS: Receptionist: how about March 3rd at 9:00am? Me, to myself: that’s two days after…
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Currently… in March 2017
FEELING: Excited and inspired. I’ve been working for the past …well, a little over a week… nonstop at the studio I was working at a few months ago. I love love love it. It’s so much fun helping out, and every day I get asked to do something that scares me: power tools, tiny details, complicated maneuvers……