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A Personal Day
At my last session, my therapist told me to do something for myself this week. On Sunday, I had the entire day to catch up, get ahead, and take care. Here’s what I did. repotted 1/3 of my succulents touched up the blonde on my roots went grocery shopping bought…
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I Was Wrong About QALO Rings, And I Can Say So
I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, but only when I’ve convinced me that I’m wrong. So when I first heard about these QALO rings, I did a spit-take. This commercial ran as one of my ads on Hulu and my gut reaction to it was, well, not very generous of my spirit. “What the fuck kinda bullshit crap…
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I’m Not Sorry About My ‘Feelings’ About This Hot Pockets Commercial
Intrigued? I know I am. This commercial, to me, is just dripping in weird toxic masculinity code. WATCH IT!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ew-jWutL0E What is this ad saying, basically? That if you’re a dude, you’re busy doing DUDE things. Otherwise, there would be a female platonic friend wearing a VR headset on that sofa! But Nope, this is post-Gamergate, everyone…
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I Say Hey, What’s Going On?
Well, I disappeared! I hate when really consistent bloggers just up & “disappear” on me, and I always take it personally (HA!). If you took my absence personally and demand to know where I’ve been when I’m not blogging, here’s what’s going on: Last weekend, I hopped on a train. Like, an all-day…
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Good News! Doggos Make Everything Better
Woof. It has been a rough week. Woof, indeed! I went out of town for a whirlwind trip, and now I’m back to working long hours which I love but man, it’s intense! So intense, I’ve only had a few minutes here and there to look at cute doggos! So, if you’re also busy, and only…
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GOOD NEWS! Let There Be Butt Stuff
Walked out my door on Monday morning to find that someone had etched the phrase “NO BUTT STUFF” into the sidewalk. What? Why? What does this mean? So now I guess we have to talk about the Corgi Butt Bag: So at the studio we’ve been listening to “comedy music” and I remembered…
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WHISTLEBLOWING *tweet tweet* a.k.a. My New Favorite Petty Hobby
Let me tell you about my new favorite hobby: So you know how the world is shit, right? Largely because of racist, sexist, transphobic, islamophobic, homophobic assholes? Well after the election I was REALLY MAD about them. I felt like they had stolen my American Dream from me! I went to protests. I donated to…
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So Apparently I Know Fuck-All About Fruit
I consider myself an educated person. But apparently, that is fucking false. I don’t even know how my brunch conversation with my boyfriend turned to fruits vs. vegetables, but I think it was a little something like this: ME: “So everyone thinks that tomatoes are a vegetable, but they’re actually a fruit.” BOYFRIEND: *silently wonders…
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Is This The Greatest Yodel-Based Power Ballad In The History Of The World?
Yes. Wait, you wanted more than that? Bring it on, bring it on, I’m a dreamer. “Yodel It!”, the Romanian entry to the Eurovision song contest, is so good that it makes me forget that I’m an American, and my country is falling apart while Europe hosts a song contest. “Yodel It!” reminds me of…
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Good News! I Called Dog 911, And They Said It’s Not An Emergency
Dog 911 meme was started by Reverend Scott on Twitter. What’s good, everybody? I think yellow blush is *VERY* good: https://www.instagram.com/p/BNpspOQAVOr/?tagged=yellowblush I’m very excited to try this look with some of my Buttercupcake eyeshadow from Sugarpill cosmetics! I’m so into blush and highlighter lately, it’s like a breath of fresh air on my face!…
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How To End A Conversation: Two Right Ways And One Wrong Way That Works, Too, If You’re Desperate
Ok, I love spending the day alone. I love going for walks, enjoying the parks, taking in the museums, photographing local landmarks, and taking myself out to lunch. It’s fun. I’m great company! The only down side to this is that I’ve had to learn How To End A Conversation. For example.…
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Nope, I’m Not “Adulting” Anymore
I’m writing this post on the WordPress app from the lobby of my local bank, where I’m waiting to open a savings account and order checks for my checking account, and one word is reverberating through my head loud enough to drown out the whiny Muzak being pumped through the bank lobby: “ADULTING” Adulting: I…
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Yes, I Actually Floated In A Sensory Deprivation Tank (Mostly)
It’s the day after my float, and I want to write down everything while I still have a thin crust of salt in my forearm hairs. So I want it on record that *I* was the one who had this wacky idea in the first place. It was at a health foods store in California where my…
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New Neighbors
New York City is a diverse, fascinating place to live. You never know who you’re going to meet! And one’s own neighborhood can be a thrilling opportunity to get to know people from all sorts of exotic cultures. Why, take a look at my new neighbors! Just a few months ago, some new neighbors moved in…
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MTV True Life: I Deleted Snapchat And My Life Is Honestly Better
Oh wow, I guess I’m officially old. I was SUPER INTO Snapchat when I downloaded it. I admit, I was already behind the trend, but I really loved the idea of a video-based social media. Snapchat felt more intimate than Instagram, less filtered, and authentic. There was like, your Instagram persona, and your Snapchat persona. Instagram was…
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I Got The Power
I wanted to pop in a week after this post and give you an update on my medical situation, but since then, the health and welfare of the entire country has gone critical. I can’t believe it actually happened, but Tr*mpcare passed the HOR. REALLY?! I mean, HOW?!? We have to stop this from passing the Senate. I’m hopeful, but not exactly confident, considering just…
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You Got Me, Babe
Ok I said it like five months ago that May was gonna be the month that Tr*mp was impeached. And y’all, it is just taking way too long. America is getting scarier and worse by the day. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for you to impeach him? Well, I can’t do that. There’s…
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Good News! We Survived Another Week!
(sexy Muscovy duck via this website, it’s in Russian, I don’t know what it’s called) We did it, everybody! This week has been hard. Starting on Sunday, when I woke up with my entire arm tingling. I went to the walk-in clinic and left with a prescription for nerve pain meds and a referral to get…
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What I DO/DON’T Believe In
Being a ghost tour guide, I get asked a lot if I believe in ghosts. Actually, I get asked if I believe in a lot of things that fall under the realm of supernatural on my tours. I guess it goes with the tour-ritory! What. What was that portmanteau. I’m so sorry. But it occurred to me that I…
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? Giving You? THE FINGER ? Since 1991 ?
I lost my innocence in the first grade. Cue title sequence: Fast Times at Vestal Hills Elementary. You know what it’s like to be six years old and the “new kid” in a school where all the other kids have known each other since kindergarten (you know, a whole year ago)? You have to prove you’re tough.…