Where I’m Coming From

  After ten years, I can call New York my “home town.” Those are the rules. Read ’em & weep, suckers.   But the place where I lived for most of my life — the town I grew up in — will always have a special place in my heart.[…]

Dance As If Nobody’s Watching — Oh God, Are They Watching?

  You know how some people are afraid to dance because they claim that they “can’t dance”?   Hmm…. can’t relate.   Not that I’m bragging about my skills on the dance floor! Au contraire — I am openly and unapologetically an awful dancer. But I’ve always taken a special joy in dancing.   I vividly[…]

New York, I ❤️ You (And You ❤️ Me Back)

  Guys, let me tell you about the New Jersey Turnpike.   See, you never really know how much you love something until you lose it. This was how I realized I was stanning Sasha Velour in season 9: when it looked like she might be in danger of having[…]

“Tradition”

  Christmas was ruuuuuuuuuined.   When I was very young, it was the tradition to go to Christmas Eve mass and pick up a sheet pizza from Nirchi’s on the way home. Then, one year, we got a deep fryer…and discovered the joy of tempura. It was decided that this year,[…]

To All The Converse I Have Loved Before

RIP, dark blue Converse (2016-2017). I broke you in on the red rocks of Joshua Tree. I wore you for eight days straight at Burning Man. I slept in you in a tent, because heaven forbid I wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee, I[…]

RIP, Chevron

It is with heavy heart that we announce the passing of Chevron. Chevron came to prevalence in October 1950, when it graced the polo shirt of Peanuts character Charlie Brown. Chevron reached worldwide fame and legendary status at the age of 60, when suddenly, Chevron was ubiquitous on maxi dresses, curtains, and in[…]

Five Albums: Double Fantasy

Three chimes.   Double Fantasy is a meditative experience. It plays like a story of a relationship which begins in the middle — a genius move that lends itself brilliantly to playing it over and over, to “start over” again and again. Lennon’s gift for songwriting is undoubtedly enhanced by his relationship with[…]

Five Albums: Tapestry

Sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to make it home again. I didn’t know just what was wrong with me. Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore? Carole King’s Tapestry is a masterpiece of meandering insecurities and confident piano riffs.  The album dives right in with “I Feel The Earth[…]

8 Of Your Favorite Childhood Toys (And The Dark Stories Behind Them)

If the Toy Story franchise made you cry, I’m about to really make you weep — first, by reminding you of all the toys you begged your parents for, and then by ruining your fond memories of them with the tragic backstories you never knew.   1989 Polly Pocket In 1982, Chris[…]

Menstrual Cycling

“Isn’t it weird how your period transforms you into Wonder Woman?”  my friend texted as my uterine lining erupted out of me like hot magma out of Krakatoa. Wonder Woman?  Is everyone else’s menses making them super-strong and giving them invisible jets? That’s right, I’m talking about my period again![…]

Five Albums: Pearl

One of the fondest and fuzziest memories of my young life was when my dad woke me up and took me down to the basement late at night.  He sat me on the ping-pong table, put his Iron Butterfly record on the turntable he’d just hooked up, and flamboyantly gesticulated[…]

Brought To You By…

You guys, I miss blogs.  Like, I really miss blogs. You know that awful Twitter chat question: “What made you start blogging teehee lol?”  BLOGS.  Blogs made me start blogging.  Blogs opened my eyes to something human beyond myself, something real and sympathetic and extraordinary in the everyday banal realities[…]

Five Albums: Arrival

“See that girl, watch that scene/digging the Dancing Queen”   I’m 12 years old and I’ve re-discovered ABBA.  My parents laugh because they have video of toddler-me dancing to “Take A Chance On Me.”  Oh, if there was YouTube in 1989!  But when I rekindle my love of ABBA in[…]

The Popsicle Zodiac

Pink: Total hedonist.  You enjoy only the finest things in life.  Your bed has no fewer than six pillows.  That’s four pillows more than necessary, and you know it.  Your most frequent recurring nightmare is the one where you realize your favourite designer handbag is actually a knockoff.  Blue:  You[…]

God Hates You

I don’t believe in God. I don’t think there’s any compelling evidence that God exists. I find it scientifically improbable that there is a ruling force to the chaotic universe we live in. I’d hate to believe there’s some dickface cloud-dwelling billionaire up there who gives cancer to babies to[…]

The First Time A Joke Blew Up In My Face

I live to tell jokes.  Always have, always will. Fact: at a party, an acquaintance pulled me aside to tell me he admired my Twitter hashtag.  That compliment meant more to me than shaking the school board president’s hand at my High School graduation.  Being laughed at – or with[…]

No Mo’ “Hoes”

Source: lesmis.com Whore, Prostitute, Skank, Ho’Bag, Tramp, Hooker, Lady of the Evening, Hussy, Ho. Can we seriously just stop?When I was 13, I thought being a prostitute would be the coolest job ever.  I had just learned what a prostitute was by listening to the soundtrack for Les Miserables (Fantiiiine![…]

The Time I Catfished Somebody I Knew IRL

I know we just flipped our calendars over to 2016, but tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999!  That’s right – we’re going back to the days of dial-up internet! If you had to google either of the phrases “dial-up internet” or “party like it’s 1999,” I’m gonna bet that[…]

When I’m Scared, I Tell Myself…

Moments of bravery:  we all have them.  Do you, like me, use your personal moments of bravery in times of struggle?  In a previous post, I mentioned how much I challenged myself in 2015 and the confidence those moments of challenge gave me when faced with mundane, everyday moments of[…]

2015 Best Nine Instagrams

What the hell is this post, a shameless plug for my Instagram?  On the one hand, yes definitely.  On the other hand, I’ve felt an Instagram rant has been long overdue from me and I want to get my feelings out there and see what you think.  But first, the[…]