Things You Might Not Know About Me

 

I feel like my blog is a pretty good representation of who I am. Like, if you read my blog, you for sure know about my obsession with true crime podcasts, and that I put Kewpie mayo on pretty much everything I eat, I love thrift shopping, and I can’t cook unless it involves a microwave. I feel like these are essential facts about me that, while important, are very much surface getting-to-know-you kind of things.

But what if — in the spirit of Valentine’s Day and intimacy — we got to know each other a little bit… deeper?

I realized there are pretty important things about me that might surprise most of my readers — things you probably wouldn’t know about me unless you spend a lot of time with me. Things my roommates don’t even know about me and these walls are very thin! So without further ado, let’s charge ahead on peeling back some layers of the magnificent onion that is me:

 

 

I pee all the time. If I go out somewhere, I’ll need to pee at least once every hour. Sometimes ever half hour. I pee every ten minutes in the morning. If I’m out in Manhattan, I’ll seriously pee every time I pass a bathroom just because well you never know when you’ll reach the next available bathroom now do you?!

 

I’m afraid of Tulpas but I try not to think about them too much because I’m terrified of creating them and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

 

I love folding laundry. I try to do my washing on Tuesday evenings to time folding my laundry with watching Last Stream on the Left on adultswim.com at 8pm. That’s like a treat for me. I look forward to that. I KNOW.

 

All I wear is vintage high-waisted pants. Mostly jeans. Sometimes jean shorts. Going vintage shopping, for me, means scouring the pants rack for that perfect vintage jean, size 13. If I had a fashion blog, I would call it “Vintage Jean, Size 13.” Because it rhymes and because that’s the waterfall I’m always chasing.

 

If I like a shade of lipstick, I will buy it in every shade. well, ALMOST every shade, I rarely buy the “nudes” or “blush pink” shades. I know this is a bad hobby but in fairness, I do wear lipstick 99% of the time, and I like to mix it up a lot, but it’s not fiscally responsible. I easily own over $200 worth of lipstick. Easily. And yet, I can’t walk through a drug store without checking the Maybelline display for Matte Ink liquid lipsticks. They’re my faaaaavorite.

 

I’m really into crystals and I put a lot of thought into picking crystals to help me through the day. I research which crystals are best for things like confidence and strength and prosperity, and I wear those pendants to work or the dentist or whatever. My crystals and crystal jewelry live on my windowsill all the time so I don’t have to worry about forgetting to put them there during a full moon, and they’re surrounded by my plants to boost their powers.

 

I don’t eat anything that walks on land. I went vegetarian in 1998-99, or thereabouts, because my coolest high school friends were vegetarians. I didn’t even really know that was A THING, but as a child, I *hated* eating meat. My mother will confirm this in the comments, I’m sure. Some years after that, I started eating fish and seafood (they call it “pescetarianism” and that wasn’t really all that common at the time either) because I felt no need to politicize my diet, I ate what I liked, and didn’t take shit about it from anyone. The past couple years, I’ve felt a lot of political pressure to go full vegan, but I have no plans as of yet, being gluten free, that really limits my affordable food options. I am trying to actively limit my fish consumption cuz you know. The oceans. 

 

I go to bed early. Like, really early. Most nights, I fall asleep between 9 and 10pm. I have pulled exactly one all-nighter in my entire life.

 

I don’t own any “dress shoes.” I’ve never learned to walk in heels, shoes just don’t do it for me like , say , lipsticks do (see aboooove) and in fact, I switch between two pairs of sneakers and clean those up to wear at fancy events and just hope that people don’t look down at my feet.

 

I have three big tattoos and three small tattoos… so far! You’ve seen them but I don’t talk explicitly about them very much. The roses across my chest, the quote on my upper arm, and the chrysanthemum on my left forearm are the big ones. I have a small star on my left hand, a heart on my left wrist, and an apple on my right wrist. If you wanna know more, I could write a more in-depth post about what my tattoos mean but for most of them, they just mean “I like tattoos,” so that would probably be a really uninteresting post.

 

You probably already know or assumed this, but I consider myself an intersectional feminist. I try to listen to new perspectives, have empathy, check my privilege, and be less shitty. If I’ve inadvertently been shitty, please let me know and I’ll stop it. Thanks!

 

I prefer seltzer to water! This isn’t to say I won’t drink water, but if the question is, “still or sparkling?” uhhhh you know I always choose sparkling 😉

 

I hate ASMR *except for* soap-cutting videos. I follow two soap-cutting ASMR accounts on Instagram and they’re one of the few accounts I’ll turn the volume up to listen to.

 

I don’t trust electrical cords. I unplug my space heater before going to sleep at night. I unplug my charge cords before leaving for work. When I’m going on vacation, I unplug my overhead light! Which usually means I come home with a suitcase and need to use the flashlight on my phone to plug it back in to have light in my room. I read somewhere that surge protectors can easily catch fire? I dunno.

 

The song that gets stuck in my head more than any other is “Rockaway Beach” by The Ramones. Yes, I’ve been to Rockaway Beach. And yes, I was singing it in my head the entire day.

 

 

 

If you feel brave, tell me something most people don’t know about you in the comments. Or if you just learned that we have something in common that you didn’t know before, let’s chat about it! Just keep your fuckin tulpas out of my comment section pleeeeeeease and thank you.

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