TEMPEH! In the MICROWAVE!!!

  So Here’s My Pickle.   (food pun? no? ok)   I have basically blogged a thousand times about making eggs in the microwave, and how it’s my favorite depression meal, cheap source of protein, and basically the thing I eat for breakfast every day.   Well.   One day[…]

Mama Giuseppa’s – My Own (Generous) Helping of Red Sauce America

  I can’t cook to save my life, but I closely follow Bon Appétit online. I have never once made one of their recipes. Not. One. I’m only into it for the food culture articles, and this month, they’ve been running a series that has knocked me for a loop.   The Red Sauce America[…]

It’s Cadbury Mini Eggs Time!!!

  Open a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs right now. Put them under your nose. Smell them. Don’t they smell exactly like the powdered “hot cocoa” you used to make in the microwave as a kid???   Yes, I bought a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs just for myself. Showing remarkable and uncharacteristic restraint,[…]

When I See A Cupcake…

  My favorite food is cake. Period. End of the most Leo sentence ever.   Why wouldn’t your favorite food be cake??? Cake is obviously the best food. Here are the reasons: you’re supposed to eat cake at the END of the meal because it’s so special, you have to save the best[…]

MAYO MIXES: Should We? Why DID We?

  You know mayonnaise is a huge part of my #personal brand. It’s all about the THREE M’S: Mayonnaise. Murder. and… Manhattan? I think. Yeah. Good intro.   So I just saw that Heinz — the ketchup company — has introduced these two new “mayo mixes” to the market: MayoMust[…]

Trader Joe’s Tuesday: Mini Brie Bites

  Tastes Like:  I’m gonna try to keep this under 500 words. It’s gonna be hard. In the past, the circles of “Good Brie” and “Affordable Brie” were miles apart from each other, and in the vast crevasse between, lived many regrettable BAD BRIES which I bought in desperate need of[…]

Recipes That Prove That Humans Are Monsters

  I feel pretty gross and guilty for my mayo-cheese-and-sriracha sandwiches. That’s what they are. Gluten free bread, a thick layer of Kewpie mayo on both slices, a hearty drizzle of Sriracha hot sauce, and two slices of Provolone cheese. I’m a bad person. I’m disgusting. This is my favorite[…]

I’m Alive Today Because Of Welch’s Fruit Snacks

I have a long, long history with Welch’s Fruit Snacks.   WELCH’S FRUIT SNACKS.   Let’s start with a little trip down memory lane, shall we? Back to the Early-Mid-90’s. Now, I’m A #90sKID, so obviously, I ate a lot of fruit snacks growing up. Who among us whomst was[…]

Egg Sandwiches! In The Microwave!

Ok everybody — it’s official! EVEYBODY’S cooking eggs in the microwave now!   *EVEYBODY = Matty Matheson, the COOLEST celebrity chef whomst I am low-key enamored with.     It’s been a hot damn while since I’ve talked about eggs in the microwave, and now “eggs in the microwave” are[…]

What’s Cooking?

I used to shit on cooking. Like, a lot. *looks back at that unsavory sentence* *decides to leave it in anyway*   Basically, I would run around boasting, “I can’t cook!” “I can’t cook!” like it was some kind of badge of Third-Wave Feminist Honor. No I will not get back[…]

Gluteny Foods That I Would Eat If I Could, But I Can’t, So I Don’t

  So the other day, my BGFF told me that she saw gluten digestive aid for sale. Like, pills that would help me digest gluten! Do these work? Can it be true? Yours Truly is very nearly having a B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y, and when she blows out the candles, she’ll be wishing that it does work. That maybe,[…]

BACK OFF: An Unpleasant Trader Joe’s Story

  “Personal Space” is a funny concept in New York City. In a municipality where we think nothing of entwining our legs with a stranger’s on the subway to keep our balance on that crowded L train, there are still clearly situations where there is an accepted distance that one[…]

Omelettes – In The Microwave!!!

  Backstory: I joined a Facebook community about Depression Meals. What’s a “depression meal,” you ask? Well, according to the group, basically anything that you eat while depressed? There’s a good variety between like really tragic and lazy meals (leftover white rice with ketchup?), decadent “treat yo’self” meals (cakes and[…]

Monthly Favorites: September 2017

  Hulu has been on fire lately. I’ve been loving their selection of 80’s and 90’s rom-coms, new South Park episodes, and you know it’s how I keep up with my Kardashians! I’m the kind of person who always needs something on in the background. I loved watching Sense and Sensibility, Fools Rush In, Moscow On The[…]

*Sigh* Another Autumn, Another “Basic Bitch” Debacle

  Autumn’s natural beauty is incomparable: the leaves on the trees turn to bright colors, the pumpkin harvests fill the fields with vibrant orange globes, and suddenly, the words “Basic Bitch” start cropping up everywhere.   Yes, it’s time for flannel shirts, circle scarves, and accusing each other of being[…]

“So, What DO You Eat?”

  Hello, my name is Meghan. I am a gluten-free pescetarian. (Hello, Meghan!)   I stopped eating gluten four years ago, right after my 29th birthday. No diagnosis. Actually, a doctor told my mom to stop eating (so much) gluten and I, in the throes of debilitating heartburn and diarrhea[…]

Kewpie, Doll

  My hot new summer obsession is mayonnaise.   I apologize for making you think of “hot” and “summer” and “mayonnaise” all in one sentence. Ew. Gross.   Let’s rephrase:   I’ve just discovered KEWPIE mayonnaise, this luxurious Japanese mayo that comes in a soft and lovely squeeeeeeezey bottle.  […]

Great Minds

Friday, June 2nd, 2017: the day there was NO BOOZE in the house.   On Friday, I had a little bit of work to finish up from home, so I spent the rest of the day doing errands. Send invoices, replace the SodaStream tank, and BUY BOOZE.   I walked[…]