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Trader Joe’s Tuesday: Crispy Crunchy Okra
Tastes Like: Aight, these are BOUGIE SNACKS. They taste like across between SnapPeas (bougie) and dried salted seaweed snacks (bougie) and kale chips (ugh, remember when those were EVERYWHERE? BOOOOUGIE). Great With: I think these would be good for like… giving to kids? To force them to eat vegetables? I dunno. Perfect For: Gwyneth…
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TEMPEH! In the MICROWAVE!!!
So Here’s My Pickle. (food pun? no? ok) I have basically blogged a thousand times about making eggs in the microwave, and how it’s my favorite depression meal, cheap source of protein, and basically the thing I eat for breakfast every day. Well. One day at work, I found myself…
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It’s Cadbury Mini Eggs Time!!!
Open a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs right now. Put them under your nose. Smell them. Don’t they smell exactly like the powdered “hot cocoa” you used to make in the microwave as a kid??? Yes, I bought a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs just for myself. Showing remarkable and uncharacteristic restraint, it was a single-serving bag.…
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Trader Joe’s Tuesday: Mini Brie Bites
Tastes Like: I’m gonna try to keep this under 500 words. It’s gonna be hard. In the past, the circles of “Good Brie” and “Affordable Brie” were miles apart from each other, and in the vast crevasse between, lived many regrettable BAD BRIES which I bought in desperate need of some tangy soft cheese, yet…
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Recipes That Prove That Humans Are Monsters
I feel pretty gross and guilty for my mayo-cheese-and-sriracha sandwiches. That’s what they are. Gluten free bread, a thick layer of Kewpie mayo on both slices, a hearty drizzle of Sriracha hot sauce, and two slices of Provolone cheese. I’m a bad person. I’m disgusting. This is my favorite meal. But — BUT…
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I’m Alive Today Because Of Welch’s Fruit Snacks
I have a long, long history with Welch’s Fruit Snacks. WELCH’S FRUIT SNACKS. Let’s start with a little trip down memory lane, shall we? Back to the Early-Mid-90’s. Now, I’m A #90sKID, so obviously, I ate a lot of fruit snacks growing up. Who among us whomst was born in the 80’s and…
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Egg Sandwiches! In The Microwave!
Ok everybody — it’s official! EVEYBODY’S cooking eggs in the microwave now! *EVEYBODY = Matty Matheson, the COOLEST celebrity chef whomst I am low-key enamored with. It’s been a hot damn while since I’ve talked about eggs in the microwave, and now “eggs in the microwave” are sort of having like a cultural…
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Gluteny Foods That I Would Eat If I Could, But I Can’t, So I Don’t
So the other day, my BGFF told me that she saw gluten digestive aid for sale. Like, pills that would help me digest gluten! Do these work? Can it be true? Yours Truly is very nearly having a B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y, and when she blows out the candles, she’ll be wishing that it does work. That maybe, like a Fairy Godmother, the…
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BACK OFF: An Unpleasant Trader Joe’s Story
“Personal Space” is a funny concept in New York City. In a municipality where we think nothing of entwining our legs with a stranger’s on the subway to keep our balance on that crowded L train, there are still clearly situations where there is an accepted distance that one keeps from other people. On…
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This Fast And Easy Huevos Rancheros Recipe Is Ideal For When You Are Too Depressed To Cook Actual Food
I am obsessed with A Cup of Jo’s consistently tantalizing Trader Joe’s-based content. I mean, I’ve adored Jo’s aesthetic for years (millennial pink mmmmkay), and the fact that her team of writers seem as addicted to the consistently low prices and great value of Joe’s grocery store as I am seems to validate my obsession. You know…
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Omelettes – In The Microwave!!!
Backstory: I joined a Facebook community about Depression Meals. What’s a “depression meal,” you ask? Well, according to the group, basically anything that you eat while depressed? There’s a good variety between like really tragic and lazy meals (leftover white rice with ketchup?), decadent “treat yo’self” meals (cakes and sushi!) and very often, baked…
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GOOD NEWS! It’s SHOWTIME!!!
Oh, hello, there! Tonight is OPENING NIGHT for The Bloody Deed of 1857! I am all kinds of nervous, and I’ve been buzzing about all week long. Which mostly means hanging around on street corners in the East Village, talking aloud to myself about murders that took place in the nineteenth century. PERFECTLY EXPLAINABLE BEHAVIORS OBVIOUSLY.…
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GOOD NEWS! It’s Ordinary Time
I’m so happy that I’m doing this again! This guitar pick is a story.I was back at Trader Joe’s, the same place where I was gifted delicious cookies! It’s also where I shop for groceries every week, so, don’t act too surprised that I was there. I was in line down the toiletries/trail mix aisle, and…
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LOST: my inspiration. FOUND: this stuff…
So I just told you in my boat post that I’ve been struggling with finding “inspiration.” That’s pretty harsh, but it’s true. I’ve been actively searching for, but (largely) failing to find, things that excite me. Apologies in advance for sounding like a total jerk, but I’ve been going through a big period of “blah.” I’m not, like,…
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Chivalry Isn’t Dead!!! — You Can Get It At Trader Joe’s
If you live in New York or — heck — the EAST COAST, even, you might have gotten buried under a shit-ton of snow yesterday??? Yeah, I noticed. It snowed! I was a snow-skeptic, though, RIGHT up until the last minute. Which is why I decided it was a GREAT IDEA to go grocery…
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Monthly Favorites: September 2017
Hulu has been on fire lately. I’ve been loving their selection of 80’s and 90’s rom-coms, new South Park episodes, and you know it’s how I keep up with my Kardashians! I’m the kind of person who always needs something on in the background. I loved watching Sense and Sensibility, Fools Rush In, Moscow On The Hudson, and especially…. Brooklyn Nine-Nine!…
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“So, What DO You Eat?”
Hello, my name is Meghan. I am a gluten-free pescetarian. (Hello, Meghan!) I stopped eating gluten four years ago, right after my 29th birthday. No diagnosis. Actually, a doctor told my mom to stop eating (so much) gluten and I, in the throes of debilitating heartburn and diarrhea that made me miss 3…
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A Personal Day
At my last session, my therapist told me to do something for myself this week. On Sunday, I had the entire day to catch up, get ahead, and take care. Here’s what I did. repotted 1/3 of my succulents touched up the blonde on my roots went grocery shopping bought…
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I’m Not Sorry About My ‘Feelings’ About This Hot Pockets Commercial
Intrigued? I know I am. This commercial, to me, is just dripping in weird toxic masculinity code. WATCH IT!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ew-jWutL0E What is this ad saying, basically? That if you’re a dude, you’re busy doing DUDE things. Otherwise, there would be a female platonic friend wearing a VR headset on that sofa! But Nope, this is post-Gamergate, everyone…
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The Only Things I Ever Buy At Trader Joe’s. No, Really.
So back like, two years ago? I lived in Manhattan and close to a train line that ran basically from Trader Joe’s TO MY HOUSE. *pause for a moment of silence as we remember* This was the best because I could easily lug home whatever I wanted, and thus, anything I wanted, I would just chuck…