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True Instagram Stories: The First and Only Time I Have Ever Locked Myself Out Of The House
This is why you should follow me on Instagram. The End.
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Good News! We Can Peel Our OWN Oranges!
Well hello, again! It’s another weekly roundup of GOOD NEWS. Funny pictures and happy-making news items to stuff in your eye sockets when everything else on the Internet seems hopeless and depressing.We begin, as we most often do, with a personal update. Because you love meeeeeee, that’s why you’re here! First up, I bet…
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After “Before He Cheats”
Ext. Honkey-tonk dive bar. HE and SHE exit together, entwined. SHE is visibly tipsy and stumbling over the sidewalk, but she falls when HE drops her to the ground in shock. HE: What the hell? MY CAR! SHE: OOF! Where’s yer car hon? OH SHIT. HE: That bitch trashed my car!! SHE: Who trashed your car??…
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I Feel Pretty, Or Maybe Not
After cooking dinner for my grandma and sipping on rosé, we (my mother, my grandma, and I) rushed from the table to meet my aunt, uncle, and cousins at our favorite mini golf spot. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and slathered on some pink lipgloss and who knows? Maybe it was…
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Poppin’ Tags: A True Story About How Storytelling Saved My Butt
I have a favorite Goodwill store. I assume you all do, too. Mine is on 8th street, just East of 6th Avenue. Damn close to the Jefferson Market Library, home to my favorite clock tower. They have a really good selection of quirky items, and they’re pretty lax about enforcing their “only 3 items in the dressing…
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Great Minds
Friday, June 2nd, 2017: the day there was NO BOOZE in the house. On Friday, I had a little bit of work to finish up from home, so I spent the rest of the day doing errands. Send invoices, replace the SodaStream tank, and BUY BOOZE. I walked over to my favorite liquor…
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Currently… in June 2017
FEELING: Strangely optimistic. Last month got rough, and it felt like there was just negative energy everywhere, but maybe that was just hitting rock bottom, because I’m entering this month with the feeling like we’ve got nowhere to go but UP! . WATCHING: Lots of YouTube — I’d love recommendations on vloggers who aren’t cookie-cutter…
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Good News! At Least The Tardigrades Will Survive
Last week came in like a lion, and it’s going out like a lamb! It’s June, now. Holy crap. I completely didn’t see this month coming. #Sad? As you can see from my photo above, I went to the MoMA this week after my therapy session! This one is called L’Atelier, or “The Studio,”…
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The Barkchelorette
Oh hi, it’s me. Copper. I know you’ve only just met me in Episode 1 of Season 13 of The Bachelorette, but I’ve known Rachel Lindsay for a long time. We’ve spent more time together than Rachel & Fred did during their camp days. Rachel told Fred, “You always remember the bad ones.” But I’m not one…
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A Personal Day
At my last session, my therapist told me to do something for myself this week. On Sunday, I had the entire day to catch up, get ahead, and take care. Here’s what I did. repotted 1/3 of my succulents touched up the blonde on my roots went grocery shopping bought…
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I Was Wrong About QALO Rings, And I Can Say So
I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, but only when I’ve convinced me that I’m wrong. So when I first heard about these QALO rings, I did a spit-take. This commercial ran as one of my ads on Hulu and my gut reaction to it was, well, not very generous of my spirit. “What the fuck kinda bullshit crap…
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I’m Not Sorry About My ‘Feelings’ About This Hot Pockets Commercial
Intrigued? I know I am. This commercial, to me, is just dripping in weird toxic masculinity code. WATCH IT!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ew-jWutL0E What is this ad saying, basically? That if you’re a dude, you’re busy doing DUDE things. Otherwise, there would be a female platonic friend wearing a VR headset on that sofa! But Nope, this is post-Gamergate, everyone…
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I Say Hey, What’s Going On?
Well, I disappeared! I hate when really consistent bloggers just up & “disappear” on me, and I always take it personally (HA!). If you took my absence personally and demand to know where I’ve been when I’m not blogging, here’s what’s going on: Last weekend, I hopped on a train. Like, an all-day…
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Good News! Doggos Make Everything Better
Woof. It has been a rough week. Woof, indeed! I went out of town for a whirlwind trip, and now I’m back to working long hours which I love but man, it’s intense! So intense, I’ve only had a few minutes here and there to look at cute doggos! So, if you’re also busy, and only…
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GOOD NEWS! Let There Be Butt Stuff
Walked out my door on Monday morning to find that someone had etched the phrase “NO BUTT STUFF” into the sidewalk. What? Why? What does this mean? So now I guess we have to talk about the Corgi Butt Bag: So at the studio we’ve been listening to “comedy music” and I remembered…
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WHISTLEBLOWING *tweet tweet* a.k.a. My New Favorite Petty Hobby
Let me tell you about my new favorite hobby: So you know how the world is shit, right? Largely because of racist, sexist, transphobic, islamophobic, homophobic assholes? Well after the election I was REALLY MAD about them. I felt like they had stolen my American Dream from me! I went to protests. I donated to…
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So Apparently I Know Fuck-All About Fruit
I consider myself an educated person. But apparently, that is fucking false. I don’t even know how my brunch conversation with my boyfriend turned to fruits vs. vegetables, but I think it was a little something like this: ME: “So everyone thinks that tomatoes are a vegetable, but they’re actually a fruit.” BOYFRIEND: *silently wonders…
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Is This The Greatest Yodel-Based Power Ballad In The History Of The World?
Yes. Wait, you wanted more than that? Bring it on, bring it on, I’m a dreamer. “Yodel It!”, the Romanian entry to the Eurovision song contest, is so good that it makes me forget that I’m an American, and my country is falling apart while Europe hosts a song contest. “Yodel It!” reminds me of…
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Good News! I Called Dog 911, And They Said It’s Not An Emergency
Dog 911 meme was started by Reverend Scott on Twitter. What’s good, everybody? I think yellow blush is *VERY* good: https://www.instagram.com/p/BNpspOQAVOr/?tagged=yellowblush I’m very excited to try this look with some of my Buttercupcake eyeshadow from Sugarpill cosmetics! I’m so into blush and highlighter lately, it’s like a breath of fresh air on my face!…
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How To End A Conversation: Two Right Ways And One Wrong Way That Works, Too, If You’re Desperate
Ok, I love spending the day alone. I love going for walks, enjoying the parks, taking in the museums, photographing local landmarks, and taking myself out to lunch. It’s fun. I’m great company! The only down side to this is that I’ve had to learn How To End A Conversation. For example.…