Oh hi, it’s me. Copper. I know you’ve only just met me in Episode 1 of Season 13 of The Bachelorette, but I’ve known Rachel Lindsay for a long time. We’ve spent more time together than Rachel & Fred did during their camp days. Rachel told Fred, “You always remember the bad ones.” But I’m not one of the bad ones, friends! I’m a good one. In fact, I’m a very good boy. And no matter what, I’m going to win The Barkchelorette.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Ha. I watched Nick’s season of The Bachelor, and now I am fully pup-pared to win this season. I know all the commands: Rose Ceremony. Group Date. Cocktail Party. Fantasy Suite. And of course… Two-On-One Date.
Two daters enter, ONE DATER LEAVES THE SHOW. The stakes are high. Peter has no idea what’s about to hit him.
Record scratch! Yep, that’s me. Copper. And I almost feel bad for this clown. I mean…
Really? Weak handshake dude.
Okay, we can pretend to play nice in front of Rachel. No guy wants to make a scene or pick a fight on a Two-On-One Date, it generally reflects poorly on the dater.
Am I pupset that I had to share my date with Peter? Yeah, a little bit. But at the end of the night, who went back to Rachel’s suite with her, and who walked away with nothing more than a pathetic rose bud?
I don’t want to come off as too cocky here, but I’m pretty sure I’m a shoo-in to win The Barkchelorette. I know I’m gonna be with Rachel for the rest of my life. Copper OUT!