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Making Peace With Zooey Deschanel
My relationship with Zooey Deschanel is troubled. I loved her in Failure to Launch, but can’t abide 500 Days of Summer. Not to mention she’s always copying my style: look at the similarities here. This is my headshot from 2009: And here is a photo of Ms. Deschanel, found on Pinterest: Source: google.com.mx via Jesús…
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Yoga in the Park with Yuppies
…yoga always makes me laugh to myself. no offense. but watching people do yoga is pretty hilarious.
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Gee, Off-Icer Cup-Kie
On my 28th Birthday, I went to work, I washed a sink-full of dishes, I made a pasta salad. But two days before… This happened: I met my friend and we acquired a Crumbs cupcake, an Insomnia cookie, and Emack & Bolio’s ice cream. The cupcake was decapitated and hollowed out, and filled with ice…
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Vacation Recap: Grandma & Me
I was supposed to be born on my Grandma’s birthday. But I took a little bit longer than most to leave “home.” Story of my life. Grandma and I both tell the same stories over and over again. We both try to cheat at cards – only she gets away with it more than I…
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Vacation Recap: Duds the Stud
In the middle of my life falling apart, I went up to Buffalo to visit my family, as I do every year. I expected to be miserable – wallowing in sadness and loneliness the whole time. And then I met someone. My aunt was pet-sitting for the neighbor’s dog and guess what. He is a…
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Vacation Recap: Shuffle Off to Buffalo
Whenever I ride up to Buffalo, I feel as though perhaps I know every mile of the journey by heart. The landmarks always come in their familiar, predictable order. Hills and farms and forests all burned into my memory. The journey seems to take forever, but it’s really only 3 and a half hours –…
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Vacation Recap: Bus-y Work
Riding the bus is hella boring. Even with all the modern amenities of electric outlets, wifi, and questionable bathrooms! Passing the time is difficult. Especially when you, ahem, get stuck in traffic and your bus ride doubles in length! I like to pass the time taking pictures. Mostly self-portraits and landscapes. Leaving my city. Feelin’…
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Gonna Make It After All
So, now you know my terrible secret that I’ve been keeping for a month. I’ve been dumped. Surprise. Sure was to me. So I’m going day by day, and it’s getting easier all the time. The trick is to stay productive. Today I made: A totally ghetto but surprisingly satisfying pasta salad out of a…
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Don’t Mind Me…
I’m just getting a massive sunburn by my aunt’s pool on Grand Island. Coffee and paper by the pool!
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Holiday
I’m going to be out of town for the next week. I hope you don’t miss my brilliance too much. Leaving NYC is bittersweet every time. Whenever I come out of the Lincoln Tunnel and see it across the Hudson, I always feel like I’ve made a huge mistake – NO! TURN AROUND! Take me…
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Gonna Make You Sweat
Question: I would like someone who is a capable adult to tell me whether or not it’s okay to use deodorant everywhere. Like EVERYWHERE. My walk from the train to work goes across Central Park + 4 additional blocks. During that journey, I will invariably become completely drenched in sweat AND THEN, I have to…
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Duck…Duck…Sauce
I see a lot of bizarre things on the subway. I mean, you know that. Exotic dancing toddlers. Pop and lock squads. Michael Jackson impersonators. People eating soup. That one almost takes the cake. Speaking of food, what’s that on the floor? Why, it appears to be a lone packet of Duck Sauce? Oh, why,…
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Your iPhone, Your Boobs, and You
Ladies, level with me. When you talk on your iPhone (does anyone still talk on their iPhone?), how do you NOT get it covered in yucky face guck? I’m talking moisturizer, sunscreen, foundation, powder – every time I pull it away from my face to hang up, there’s that ewww moment where I realize that…
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Knit Wit – A Yarn
Quick story – Walking home from the subway last night at around 11:30, I accidentally kicked a rock into the shoes of the man walking in front of me. Accident! He was super bewildered and confused, looking all around suspiciously and nervously. I felt so bad I had to stop and apologize. “I’m sorry, I…
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Sweetness is Sweet
Last Monday, at work, I struck up a conversation with a customer. Like I always do. That’s pretty much my job – welcome people and make them feel comfortable and happy. Like a hostess at a restaurant, I guess? Sometimes I hand out free samples, too. Not a bad gig. So, this conversation. I was…
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Fly the Friendly Skies
Charlotte to London by meghan-sara featuring long gloves How cute is the above outfit? Now picture it on an elderly man. In an airport. Yes, about two years ago, I was flying to London following the terrible volcanoes in Iceland. The weather was horrible. Flights were getting delayed and cancelled all over. I had already…
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Because You May Find This Pinteresting…
Real talk: we probably all use Pinterest here, right? Pinterest kinda bugs me. I like having a way to store and easily find images of say, craft ideas and hairstyles and nail art. I think it’s a fantastic idea. However, you may have noticed that there are some insane people on Pinterest. Apparently, there are…
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This Way to Happiness
The end of this month marks the end of my 28th year, and it’s about time I took some steps in a positive direction. Those of you who know me IRL know I’m having a bit of a tough time. I’m always complaining that everyone hates me, I’ll never amount to anything, I’m tired all…
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Best / Worst TV Show
Source: google.com via Ila on Pinterest Drop Dead Diva may be the most amazing show on television: they take the most offensive, weakest premise imaginable and turn it into a charming, touching, addictive comedy/drama/law procedural. WHAT?!? Here’s the gist: what’s worse than dying in a car accident? Why, BEING FAT, of course! The first three…
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I Love You, Trader Joe
Once a month, we go grocery shopping. And like everything we do, we do it COMPLETELY. Over the top. And because I am a terrible cook: Here is why I love Trader Joe!: 1. It’s SO CHEAP! A month’s worth of groceries here costs what a week’s worth of groceries cost at all the other…