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Saul Morales, Door-to-Door Tattoo Artist
It has become The New Norm: every time I walk down the street, some passerby will call out: “Nice tattoo!” As if I didn’t already know. Crossing the street at Broadway and 96th in search of kale during an apparent UWS Kale Shortage Crisis, a gentleman with a fair amount of his own ink sidled…
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Blogtember #14: The Pants Problem
I believe you’ll know if it’s true love or not if you find yourself thinking all day about getting home to that special someone. Or some-thing. And I may have found true love. I bought these sweatpants from Kmart on Friday, September 6th. And they have taken over my world. All day at work, all…
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Special Delivery
Hiya, Internet! Didja miss me? It’s been one month of radio silence from me except for the random here-and-there phone post. Shudder! I finally received my charge cord in the mail from the UPS! Here’s a funny thing about the UPS: they claim to be a delivery service, but they don’t ACTUALLY deliver packages. On…
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The Drive-By
Today I would like to speak about a phenomenon that annoys me to no end. I call it, “The Drive-By.” New York is a walking city, and you all know how much I LOOOOVE walking. I would walk until my feet fall off! I sometimes do! Walking allows you to appreciate your environment, puts you…
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If I Had to Guess…
“I like your shirt,” I told my customer. “Where did you get it?” “Guess.” I paused. “I don’t know, it’s really pretty though.” “No, guess.” “I honestly wouldn’t even begin to know where you got that shirt from, I’m sorry. “It’s from Guess.” Classic.
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If You Only Have Five Minutes to Live
You know those weird religious recruitment pamphlets that people slide under your apartment door? (No, you don’t get those? That’s weird. Cuz yeah, THAT’S weird.) Well, it gave me an idea: What would you do if: – you knew you only had five minutes to live? – you just found out that you only had…
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Headphones In
In New York City, there is an accepted decorum for addressing someone on the train when they have their headphones in: YOU DON’T. There are exceptions, of course: 1. If they dropped something important and haven’t noticed: a large wad of cash, their iPhone, their baby. Anything else, LEAVE THEM ALONE. 2. If you are…
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Awesome Weekend-Brag
Welcome back to the other side of the weekend! Working a non-traditional job, I have a weird concept of what a “weekend” is. Soucre: TV Guide Nevertheless, My weekend starts on Wednesday night (like Friday night for you folks) and Saturday is my “Sunday.” Well, this weekend I kicked off by giving an awesome private…
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Licorice Lover
At last week’s session, I joked with my therapist that if I traveled back in time one year to give my former self a badly-needed hug, I wouldn’t recognize me. I dress and act like a totally different person and oh yeah, I eat licorice now. Not just the lame, cheater, strawberry licorice. The good…
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The Book Phantom
One of the coolest things about NYC is that you can always buy secondhand books (the best kind!) for next to no money almost anywhere. Everyone knows about The Strand, which sells way below list price. But if you’re just browsing, you can pick up a fascinating read off the street for a couple of…
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My First Rock Concert(s)
I’ve alluded here before to the fact that I’m nearly 29 and have never been to a rock concert. Pause to grasp that, moving on. Last week I attended not ONE, but TWO LIVE ROCK SHOWS in 48 hours’ time. WHAT! First, I went to a place called The Canal Roomto see the music video…
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Tampocalypse Now
In about a month, I’ll be 29 years old. That’s practically an adult! One of the things I am most proud of as an adult is never running out of the essentials. I have managed to, since moving out “on my own,” have a never-ending supply of toilet paper, peanut butter and…tampons. Here’s an…
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Don’t Get It Twisted
This one time, I nearly had a heart attack. I was at work, doing my thing, when I suddenly became aware of an acute, piercing pain directly over my heart on my breastbone. It hurt so much I couldn’t breathe. I started to launch into self-calming mode: I started to talk softer, took deep breaths,…
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Beyond Belief
Tonight, I will deliver my first solo Lower Manhattan tour with Ghosts, Murders, and Mayhem Walking tours. It is the final route for me to learn, and kicks off my third summer season with the company! I love giving ghost tours, and I’m so excited and grateful to be a part of bringing history and…
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Me And My Cinnamon Shadow
I have always been … creative. I don’t remember the story very well, because I was very young. So very young – so feel free to chime in, mom! – that this story has been told to me instead of remembering it personally. The long and short of it is, when I was but a…
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Try A Little Tenderness
A day ago, I was having an emotional heart-to-heart with a friend of mine who was complimenting me. It made me uncomfortable while it thrilled me, and he said aloud: “You have terrible self-esteem.” Being told you have low self-esteem (and that it shows) does the opposite of fixing your low self-esteem, FYI. In the…
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…Only I Didn’t Say “Fudge”….
I am afraid of peanut butter fudge. Rather, I am afraid of saying “peanut butter fudge.” Let’s back up. I have the easiest job ever. My job is to smile and hand out free candy. Like Halloween, only for nine hours at a time standing on your feet up and down stairs. Okay, not so…
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The Five Scariest Moments in Trapeze
The scaffolding on top of the building? That’s the trapeze school! 1. Climbing the 20 foot tall ladder to get to the platform – exacerbated by the fact that the trapeze structure sits on the roof of a building, making you three stories and 20 feet high in the air. 2. With your toes over…
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BRB – AFK
I’ve taken a bit of a blogging vacation – unintentionally – while I sort out how to have a personal life while working one full-time job, and having a part-time job on the side, and sometimes attempting to sleep. I’ll be back in a week to share my adventures in celebrity, trapeze, and new plans…