Success

  What if success is by how much you ACCOMPLISH, but how much you ENJOY??? I type into my phone as I eat a burrata and a Prosecco for dinner at my favorite NYC restaurant of 2011, Saggio. Motown plays on the PA, the air conditioning is cool but not frigid, and even though my…

55 Years of Crimes That Rocked New York City

  So the thing is, and I’ll admit, I have a pretty niche interest. What can I say? I grew up looking forward to Fridays … because that was the day of the week that Law & Order: SVU premiered new episodes (in the late 90’s-early 00’s). Honestly, I’m kind of amazed that I still decided to move to…

Pockets in Pajamas

  People, we have a lot of fun on this blog. But now, I need to address a serious issue.   We need pockets. In pajamas. And we need them. Yesterday.   Well, specifically, we need them a month ago. It was around a month ago when I was doing laundry in my pajamas… as you do! I mean,…

HOW Tired Am I? *THIS* Tired

  I *thrive* on being busy. I sleep better when I’m busy, drink more water when I’m busy, keep my room cleaner when I’m busy. I’ve been pretty busy lately, but it’s a delicate balance. I know that I’m too busy and too tired when THIS happens:   I think it was the night of the Primary Election. I *think,* because…

Texting + Stairs = DANGER!

  As the famous nursery rhyme “Ring Around the Rosie” posits, “We all fall down.” Some of us more spectacularly than others.   Picture this: Monday night, around 8pm. I’ve just left work and I’m heading home while texting my boss about the progress we’re making. I do this all the time! I pride myself on being…

Missed Connection (???)

  Have you ever posted a “missed connection”? Have you ever read the “missed connections”? Have you ever missed a connection?   I confess to you, I may have fucked up and missed one, myself.   It was A LONG time ago. Like, the last week of February. It was that one freakish week that it was…

A Pox On Arie

  I’m still mad.   Yep, hex the shit out of him. For, as I’m learning, men don’t mature. They just become salt-and-pepper human shitbags. You’d think that a man of 36 would be capable of having meaningful relationships? But, no.   ICYMI, apparently, Arie (aka “The Worst Bachelor In History”), proposed to Becca K in…

The Pits

  June 26th, 2014: I grammed this gorgeous selfie of yours truly all dressed up for a date. Hair curled, cute sundress, makeup on point. I look amazing, BUT! For the itchy, scaly, oozy, red splotch of psoriasis under my armpit. You can tell I’ve tried my darnedest to filter the living F out of this photo…

Chivalry Isn’t Dead!!! — You Can Get It At Trader Joe’s

  If you live in New York or — heck — the EAST COAST, even, you might have gotten buried under a shit-ton of snow yesterday??? Yeah, I noticed. It snowed! I was a snow-skeptic, though, RIGHT up until the last minute. Which is why I decided it was a GREAT IDEA to go grocery…

New York, I ❤️ You (And You ❤️ Me Back)

  Guys, let me tell you about the New Jersey Turnpike.   See, you never really know how much you love something until you lose it. This was how I realized I was stanning Sasha Velour in season 9: when it looked like she might be in danger of having to lip sync for her…

So I Got My Period At Burning Man

photo by Nina Hazen   I finally caught the bullet that I dodged last year.   Last year, I was scheduled to get my period at Burning Man, but if you’ll recall (because I know you are so into my menstrual cycle), it came early and was the cherry on top of three days of ??food poisoning??…

I Saw The Light

  Bright light floods my eyes. Bright, bright light.   I raise my hand to shield them. What’s happening?   “The helicopter,” I whisper weakly. “For the drowning. The shipwreck.”   “Where’s your phone?” My boyfriend asks. “Here, here,” I press it into his arm.   He turns off the flashlight feature on his phone…