HOW Tired Am I? *THIS* Tired

 

I *thrive* on being busy. I sleep better when I’m busy, drink more water when I’m busy, keep my room cleaner when I’m busy. I’ve been pretty busy lately, but it’s a delicate balance. I know that I’m too busy and too tired when THIS happens:

 

I think it was the night of the Primary Election. I *think,* because I’m very tired. But let’s say, for the sake of the story, it was the night of the Primary Election, so it was around 10:30 and I’d been working at the poll site since 5am.

 

I let myself in, checked the mail, and started climbing the stairs.

 

STAIRS! 🎶 Stairs is how you remind me how tired I really am. 🎶 I’m the kind of person who can go, go, go and not realize that I’m completely run down until it comes to the stairs in my apartment. LOOK AT THEM (pictured above). There’s something about THESE STAIRS. As soon as my foot hits the first step and my knee creaks like a door in a haunted house and my calves SNAP like bamboo in the mouth of a panda (SHITTY METAPHORS I’M SORRY I’M REALLY TIRED), I know that the climb to my apartment is gonna be like climbing the Matterhorn YES I KNOW MY METAPHORS ARE LACKING TODAY, LAY OFF ME I’M TIRED!!!!

 

who remembers Muppets Take Manhattan???

 

So it’s post-Primary Election, I’m home, and as soon as I set foot on the stairs, I know it’s gonna be one of those climbs. After climbing what feels like an interminable amount of stairs, or at least, the requisite amount of stairs, I start walking down the hallway.

 

Something’s not right.

 

But I keep walking.

 

The hallway smells funny.

 

I keep walking.

 

All of my neighbors got new doormats? I don’t recognize these doormats!

 

I keep walking anyway.

 

I smell a cat — did one of my neighbors get a cat??

 

I reach my door, and put the key inside aaaaaaand….

 

Holy shit.

 

This is not my beautiful house.

🎶 This is not my beautiful keyhole! 🎶

 

Uh… this must not be the place…

 

Yeah, so I’m actually on the floor below my *actual* floor.

Which means…. I’ve got to climb MORE STAIRS!!!

 

 

This has happened at least 2 other times. Never when I’m drunk (not that I stumble home drunk EVER, Mom! Uhhhh…), only when I’m extremely tired. I’ll have you know that I have an unexpected day off today, I’m fully resting, and definitely remember which floor I live on. And the thing that really matters is that I don’t live on the same floor as any cats. Ok, now to fall asleep during a Netflix show that I really wanted to watch!!!

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