The Least Normal Dates I’ve Ever Had In My Life

So the other day I was watching The Bachelor (like you do) and after I recovered from Raven giggling about assaulting her ex-boyfriend (hold on, I promise I’m going somewhere with this, but OMG wtf that was the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen on The Bachelor), Raven raved to the cameras about what a great date it was by saying:

“This was the most normal date I’ve ever had in my life.”

Like,

really?

To recap, and in case you didn’t watch the episode, the date started at Nick’s younger sister Bella’s soccer game, which is where she met Nick’s parents (on the first date?). The date continued when Nick & Raven tagged along to the roller rink (slash arcade?) with young Bella’s soccer team, and concluded with a private candlelit dinner in an art museum, on roller blades. Honey darling, that was the most normal date you’ve ever been on? 

And then I checked myself, because you know what? Dating is pretty weird. In fact, the weirder, the better! It got me thinking about the best dates I’ve ever been on and how NOT NORMAL they were. Like, for example:

My only first date to ever last longer than 24 hours: we met at the Met, went back to my place to do Molly, then back to his place to watch Star Wars. It was the first date, and yes, I slept with him on the first date. #FuckTheRules

We met up at W4th street, made friends with Honey Boo Boo the Boa Constrictor, then hopped the orange line up to Bryant Park to take in an accordion festival. Then, he juggled. Reader, he juggled.

We met at Grand Central Station to take a train upstate to see Courtney Love, playing live to a crowd of less than 100 in an impossibly tiny venue…need I say more?

And who could forget this first date, which I blogged about over four years ago woah ???  That photo up top was taken at The Doughnut Plant in Chelsea, where we went after meeting at my favorite French restaurant in the city. Conversation carried us all the way through midtown to get dessert, and then across to Madison Square Park where we reclined on an art installation to share earbuds and playlists until midnight by the glow of a ‘BUCKYBALL.’ Was that normal? It definitely felt ab-normal.

THIS is a BUCKYBALL, in case you were wondering. And yes, it changed colors.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, “What is normal?” and like, if you’re dating, why be normal? I’ve had so many truly forgettable dates with boring people (sorry!) in coffee shops and public parks and I do feel like, all other things equal, doing something a little bit weird on a date makes me think the other person is hotter. Cooler. More attractive. So I guess if you’re in a position to plan dates, I urge you to be creative and don’t just plan a “normal” date! Normal is the enemy in dating!!!

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