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A Pox On Arie
I’m still mad. Yep, hex the shit out of him. For, as I’m learning, men don’t mature. They just become salt-and-pepper human shitbags. You’d think that a man of 36 would be capable of having meaningful relationships? But, no. ICYMI, apparently, Arie (aka “The Worst Bachelor In History”), proposed to Becca K in…
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There’s A Place For Us… ? Somewhere ?
Guess what? I guest-starred on a podcast! Yes, AGAIN. My friends at Did You Hear The One…? had me back to tell a LONGER story with A LOT MORE SWEARING! I told a story about one-night stands, puke, and my favorite thing of all: NEW YORK. It actually begins…
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How I Learned To Love The Beatles
I wish this story wasn’t about a boy. I sincerely do. But it’s at least a little bit about a boy. File it under doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. Sure, I’d always liked The Beatles, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’d played the records in my parents’ basement and danced wildly to “Oh! Darlin’” on…
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A Response To Mental Floss’s So-Called “Online Dating Red Flags”: The Non-Sex-Negative, Non-Presumptive Edition
I am in a tizzy. I need to respond. Basically, someone wrote this Mental Floss article about “Online Dating Red Flags” which is so horseshit, I couldn’t not say something. Sorry, Danielle Braff! Maybe you were assigned to write this article, and don’t actually believe this crap, but we have to pick apart these 8 bullet points because they’re so shit:…
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Quit Hating On Valentine’s Day, Seriously, It’s Not THAT BAD – But This One Was…
This is NOT a picture of me from Valentine’s Day, 2014. This is a picture of what was supposed to happen on Valentine’s Day 2014. It’s the second week of February, which means it’s time for everyone to start BITCHING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY HATE VALENTINE’S DAY. People I implore you — don’t yuck somebody else’s yum!…
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The Least Normal Dates I’ve Ever Had In My Life
So the other day I was watching The Bachelor (like you do) and after I recovered from Raven giggling about assaulting her ex-boyfriend (hold on, I promise I’m going somewhere with this, but OMG wtf that was the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen on The Bachelor), Raven raved to the cameras about what a great date it was by saying: “This…
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Laziness
My angel cherubs, let me advise you: be very wary of people who have no trouble picking a favorite book. It usually indicates that they have very little basis for comparison, if you know what I mean. I mean they must not read much! I really hate when websites prompt me to set up “security questions”…