Tag: HATES
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The Drive-By
Today I would like to speak about a phenomenon that annoys me to no end. I call it, “The Drive-By.” New York is a walking city, and you all know how much I LOOOOVE walking. I would walk until my feet fall off! I sometimes do! Walking allows you to appreciate your environment, puts you…
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Misanthropy is the Choice for Me!
Let’s recap. It’s been almost a week to the day since I got epically dumped. Why am I sharing all this? Bonnie over at Life of Bon has invited everyone to “Just Write” and to link up. Yay, my computer is down, I’m barely able to keep up with my blogging and I’m doing this…
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Scenes From The Morning I Got Dumped
21 blocks from where I got dumped In a Rite Aid A stranger states down at me from immense height. “Wow, that must’ve hurt.” Yeah “Right over the heart.” Yeah “You like pain?” It would appear so “But it goes away. The pain. After a while.” Yeah 38 blocks from where i got dumped. A…
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Teething
I am, as we speak, cutting my wisdom tooth. Again. The cashier at Trader Joe’s put it best when he said “Every six month is indescribable pain, then it goes away and you forget to deal with it.” Basically. In the end, though, he opted to have his pulled out to end the cycle. I…
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Headphones In
In New York City, there is an accepted decorum for addressing someone on the train when they have their headphones in: YOU DON’T. There are exceptions, of course: 1. If they dropped something important and haven’t noticed: a large wad of cash, their iPhone, their baby. Anything else, LEAVE THEM ALONE. 2. If you are…
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Missed Opportunity
Things I Should Have Said to the Random Asshole Who Called Me a “Pale Skeleton” and “Anorexic” After Swearing At Another Random Woman, Making Kissy Noises, and Insulting Her Race: “Mind your own business.” “Watch it, loudmouth.” “Who asked you?” “Learn some respect, asshole.” “Yeah, go home and have a wank over me.” “If that’s…
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There’s Got to Be a Morning After(care)
This is a post about my tattoo healing process. Some people may be grossed out or even offended by the descriptions. Also, my experience may be different from your experience, and each tattoo heals differently under different circumstances. This is a (hopefully) humourous look at my own circumstances. “It rubs the lotion on its skin”…
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This Place Is Dangerous
This is me, dressed as a “wicked temptress”, or as some people call it, “a donut” What really gets my goat cheese at the candy store is when people call it “dangerous.” Uh, only if you don’t hold the handrails! I kid, I kid. But here’s a typical conversation with a customer: ME: Hi! Today…
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Pick Only Three
Today’s prompt is to pick my top three worst traits. ONLY THREE???Ignoring my insecurities which you already know about, and taking a positive tack on this (because it’s been a rough week, obvs), here are my top three worst traits: I care too much I obsess over the details and work myself into nervous frenzies…
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New York Doesn’t Heart You Back
My first response upon seeing this headline: Went a little something like this: In case you didn’t know this from reading my blog, tourists are awful, awful people. They treat locals rudely, and treat the city like Disneyland. Excuse me, but this is a real-life place, not some made-up Narnia. Stopping in the middle of…
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Forgiveness
I had a dream a few weeks ago that left me feeling devastated. I dreamed I called off my wedding the day it was to happen. I couldn’t go through with it, it didn’t feel right. I looked into the eyes of the man I supposed I would marry, and said, “Please don’t hate me,…
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BRB – AFK
I’ve taken a bit of a blogging vacation – unintentionally – while I sort out how to have a personal life while working one full-time job, and having a part-time job on the side, and sometimes attempting to sleep. I’ll be back in a week to share my adventures in celebrity, trapeze, and new plans…
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Parking Lot
I admit, I gripe a lot about the subway on here. The subway and I have a love/hate thing going on. I love the idea of getting in a tunnel and, minutes later, being MILES away. At it’s best, it is fast, whimsical, orderly, and friendly. LIKE ME. At other times, like when you’re trying…
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Pedophobe
The way I understand it, babies are sacks of goo that can erupt at any moment. That’s why we swaddle them in diapers, plug them with pacifiers and suction their noses with tiny little turkey baster things. No offense intended, I’m sure your sack of goo is just delightful. He/she may very well have a…
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Never Turn Your Back, Not For A Second
I have referred to this incident in the past, now I will share in detail what caused me to learn the harsh life lesson “never fall asleep with your back to a stranger.” Back over Thanksgiving, I had set my mind that I was going to spend the holiday visiting my family, regardless of the…
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Supers Really Aren’t
Any minute now, the super of my building is going to ring the doorbell and find me in full makeup and pajamas, watching My Little Pony, waiting for him to come and fix three separate issues in the less than two hours before I have to leave for work. I don’t blame this super. All…
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My Ugly Truth
Beauty = constant perfection (?) A man at work joked about that “awkward situation” when you wake up next to a girl you’ve brought home from a club and “her makeup is off and she don’t look right.” I was stunned into action. “I am that girl.” He stopped, and immediately began backpedaling. “No, you…
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Facebook: Doin’ It Wrong, Part Two
Source: searchenginewatch.com via Lois on Pinterest I love Facebook, you love Facebook, we all love Facebook. But I think we can agree that it can use some improvements. And no, Zuckerberg, we are not (with all due respect) asking for another news ticker on the right-hand margin. Thanks, and no. First of all, if you…
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Open Letter / Plea to Instagram Users
Hi guys. I’ve happily been one of you for over a year now. In fact, the main reason for finally obtaining an iPhone when I did was so I could join the Instagram craze. I’ve been known to say “Instagram that shit!” And other snappy phrases such as, “I’m gonna Gram this…Instantly!” My love affair…