Open Letter / Plea to Instagram Users

Hi guys.

I’ve happily been one of you for over a year now.  In fact, the main reason for finally obtaining an iPhone when I did was so I could join the Instagram craze.  I’ve been known to say “Instagram that shit!”  And other snappy phrases such as, “I’m gonna Gram this…Instantly!”  My love affair with Instagram is widely known.

But I’ve always been disturbed by a, shall we say, “trend” on the ‘gram. 

I’ve noticed people taking pictures of their food.

That is not terrible.  Everybody eats (except models), and thus, everybody poops.

Oh dear.  I really hope I didn’t just give someone the idea to start Instagramming their poops.

No, a lot of people are Instagramming their meals and hashtagging it…”food porn.”

This has always bothered me.  I thought eventually I would get used to seeing a photo of a lovely meal, through a grainy antiqued filter, and stop instantly equating it with oily artificially-enhanced tanned bodies in acrobatic sexual positions faking coitus and oh, the money shot.  Nothing makes me gag like looking at someone’s lovingly prepared spread and imagining a mustachioed, coked-up porn star money-shotting on your meal.  I’m sorry, but you invited the comparison.

See, when I think of food porn, this is the sort of thing that comes to mind:

Tampopo is an awesome movie, by the way, but getting “creative” with food is not what I’m expecting to have to imagine while scrolling my Insta-feed.

So to prevent me from imagining you and your bulgogi involved in a loving tryst, let’s try a new phrase to describe an awesome meal shot.

Thanks for letting me bend your ears.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Michael says:

    LMAO at "Oh dear. I really hope I didn't just give someone the idea to start Instagramming their poops." Can you imagine?! DE-LETE!

    I've been guilty of this a time or two. Sorry! I usually just use #yum now. It's easier, and it's true.

  2. That was the most disturbing clip ever. I mean… gag.

    But I agree (now more than ever, and I'm not sure I can ever have another over-easy egg…) that #foodporn is inaccurate, uncomfortable, and I'm pretty sure we've never used it.

    And now never will, mission accomplished!! 😀


  3. miChle p says:

    So true, a lots of instagram users nowadays loves to take pictures of their food before they start their meal. Well, I guess that's the reality now.

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