My Ugly Truth

Beauty = constant perfection (?)

A man at work joked about that “awkward situation” when you wake up next to a girl you’ve brought home from a club and “her makeup is off and she don’t look right.”

I was stunned into action.

“I am that girl.”

He stopped, and immediately began backpedaling.

“No, you have, like, inner beauty.”

“Yeah, really really inner.  Like subcutaneous.”  I let the conversation drift back to joking but I felt angry that there’s a universal expectation of perfection in women at all times.  Like we should never, EVER allow ourselves to be caught looking anything less than perfect, even when sleeping.  Even when sleeping!  Okay, ladies, as you lay down to rest remember two things:  keep breathing and keep taking men’s breath away amirite?

At MoMA, there was a line outside the bathroom.  It moved quickly, because only half the people in line had to use the toilets.  The other half needed to primp in the mirror.  Surrounded by van Goghs and Picassos, we must always remain vigilant lest someone catch us looking less than perfect.

Let’s be real.  No, REALLY real.  We don’t wake up with perfectly-drawn cat-eyes and upside-down braided Pinterest ponytails.  We – men and women and everyone else – wake up hot messes.  It takes a lot of pretending and a lot of makeup to come even close to perfection.  And beauty demands perfection.  Can we allow ourselves to be imperfect, for really reals?  Can we just allow ourselves to be … ugly?

And for the record, this is what I look like when I wake up:

Except the frosting is a cup of coffee.



2 responses to “My Ugly Truth”

  1. I often wonder how much of the "women must be beautiful all the time" problem would be solved if all women just suddenly stopped wearing makeup. Obviously, that's not going to happen, and don't get me wrong: there's no harm in occasionally wanting to look attractive in a way that you perhaps don't on a day-to-day basis. I sometimes even use concealer to hide the occasional unsightly blemish (no reason why men should be expected to live with their zits if women are allowed to hide them).

    But it's definitely a societal issue. I think that we should have a "Makeup Awareness Month" where nobody wears makeup for a few weeks to remind everyone that a woman's (or a man's) "made up" state does not necessarily reflect her (or his) natural appearance.

  2. Haha AMEN! I dig this post! I wrote a post about something like this.. Except in my opinion I think men are more consumed with their own looks rather than vice versa. Don't get me wrong, there are some women that will take 7 centuries in a bathroom primping for an event or even walking the dog for Gods sakes.. smh But, me and about 654864856 other women; it don't take too long! A man on the other hand? They have to smell right. Then they nervously pace in front of a mirror checking their shirt to make sure it's the right length or of they should change it… then they change it.. then they have to make sure their facial hair is perfect. Well, it's not, so there goes another 5 minutes. … By the time they're done, I'm out cold on the couch back in my jammies.

    Steph xx

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