What Was Your Childhood Nickname?

Every adult who was ever a child has a story of how they got a stupid nickname.  I wanna hear yours.

When I was a teenager, my baby brother (we’re nine years apart!) called me “Castle-head” because I was tall and easy to spot in a crowd.  Touchy tall teenagers do not like being called out for their lankiness!  What can I say?  He was a toddler, I was a teenager, the real victim here was probably my parents.  It’s a miracle we both survived.

So I want to hear about the dumb nickname you had as a kid.  Don’t hold back.  It can’t possibly be worse than this horrific incident from freshman year that earned me one hell of an X-Rated nickname:

“When I was an awkward freshman in high school, I would doodle on my hand
during lunch period, 5th period. My sixth period class, Earth Science,
assigned lab partners and seating according to alphabetical order of
last name. This put me, Ms. Ka, with Mr. Ku, the class’s biggest
pothead. He, too, had 5th period lunch, during which time he binged
himself on cannabis, to join me in what was probably the most
boring/least useful class of all of high school (truth! Sorry!) high as
the proverbial weather balloon. Through his haze, he noticed my hand
doodles getting progressively more intricate day by day, and commented,

“Wow! It’s like a living orgasm!”

the brightest shale in the box. He was, however, carelessly cruel (as
most high school boys are) and used his mistake to coin an unflattering
nickname for me: Orgasm. Yes, I was the 14-year-old virgin nicknamed
“Orgasm”. Luckily, the pot-smoking damaged his short-term memory, and
the nickname didn’t last past 9th grade – incidentally, I don’t think he lasted past the ninth grade, either – but the Freudian slip stuck with me.”

Okay!  Now you have to ‘fess up, too!  What was your awful nickname you hated?  Was it silly like “Castle-head” or rotten and mean?  Spill details in the comments!

9 responses to “What Was Your Childhood Nickname?”

  1. My aunt always called me Runt. Short for Errunt. Even at 31, this still continues. I had a few nicknames from my dad, but can't remember most of them. I think Beep was one, but I have no recollection on how I got it. And, well, my name is actually a nickname that I've adopted full time (and I plan on legally changing all my documents at some point). My late maternal grandfather called me Erini, the Finnish form of my name. I always felt it suited me better. The only people who still use my birth name are my mom, siblings, niece, and grandparents.

    • I've actually wondered about your name! What is your birthname, and how do you pronounce "Erini"? Your comment actually reminded me that my dad called me "Peaches" as a baby (because I would vocally advocate eating peaches for dinner over baby food, yuck) and still does sometimes.

  2. Snozzie. Which I think a couple of upperclassman in Marching Band in freshman year were trying to be mean about calling me that (it was a twist on my nickname "Snoozie" from 8th grade) but I owned it and 17 years later I still answer to it.

  3. My dear sweet father called me Chooch, which is a Jersey Italian bastardization of ciucco or jackass. He also called me Schatzi, which is German for sweetheart.
    My dad was born and raised in Binghamton in upstate New York and is of Irish descent.

  4. Almost every nickname I've ever been given is a derivative of my middle name, Teresa. My mother called me Tess, Tessa or Tessie as a child. And of course, from college, being listed everywhere with my middle initial, there's T or (my personal favorite) The T.

  5. Everybody in my family, even some of friends called me "Meggie Pooh" when I was younger. My dad still calls me that every once in a while and I always cringe afterwards, its like WHYY?!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.