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Nothing’s Gonna Change My World
It’s December 9th, and you know what that means. It means that yesterday, I spent NINE AND A HALF HOURS in the cold singing Beatles songs with tourists and fellow fanatics alike. I joke that this is my only religious holiday. Well, no joke. It is. During the daytime, the event is a bit overrun…
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This Is Why It Takes Forever To Walk Anywhere In The City In The Rain
UMBRELLAS. It’s because everyone is carrying umbrellas. A normal sidewalk is like a stream, and its pedestrians like fish. Foot traffic hinges on the ability of walkers to blithely slither past each other, faster fish weaving and bobbing through schools of slower fish. Umbrellas, though. A cumbersome umbrella can double, even…
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SECRETS REVEALED! Why Living In NYC Is *Actually* The Best, For Real
Pommes Frites will let you taste their sauces before you buy. I’m telling you, their Curry Ketchup is phenomenal! But you don’t have to believe me, just ask them to taste a sample! We have Central Park. And you don’t. Nothing is embarrassing here. Everybody lives stacked on top of top of each other,…
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Don’t Get Pissed, But Your “Fearless Girl” Is Bullshit
I know I know, you’re already angry at my title — but what is being “fearless” if not standing up for what’s right, even if it’s unpopular? I love you all, I love Intersectional Feminism, and that is why I cannot stand by Fearless Girl. I know you’re still upset, so I’m gonna…
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New Neighbors
New York City is a diverse, fascinating place to live. You never know who you’re going to meet! And one’s own neighborhood can be a thrilling opportunity to get to know people from all sorts of exotic cultures. Why, take a look at my new neighbors! Just a few months ago, some new neighbors moved in…
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Is It Spring? Yes, It’s Spring! A Poem.
If the trees are sprouting leaves And you’re wearing short sleeves And the wine in your glass is rosé If you’re delinquent on your taxes You don’t even need to aks us “Is it spring?” BECAUSE ITS SPRING HIP HIP HOORAY!!! ? ? ? If an asshole in a truck Asks you…
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A Clean Start
If there are three words that New Yorkers hate more than “L Train Shutdown,” ~*shudder*~ it’s gotta be these three: “IT’S LAUNDRY DAY.” I was determined to start 2017 with clean everything: clean towels, clean sheets, clean clothes, clean throw pillows, clean Turbie twist. I even bought a bottle of Febreeze to de-stinkify…
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A Photo With The Rockefeller Christmas Tree
Well, look at me. Me and the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Trying to force some festive shit out of this anus of a year. 2016. I repeat: 2016 was an asshole. Six years ago this month, I got a visit from an old friend. December 8th, it was. I’ve been thinking a lot about him for two…
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New York Chinese Scholar’s Garden in… Staten Island?!?
Would you believe these pictures were taken…. …on Staten Island??? That’s right, chickens, the Snug Harbor Cultural Center on Staten Island plays host to The New York Chinese Scholar’s Garden, a sensory overload of plants, architecture, and water features. When you visit botanic gardens in the winter, the good news is you usually get in…