Tip #1: Buy all your “winter fashion” two sizes larger than you normally wear. This way, you can fit more layers underneath and still look fab — no-one would ever guess that you have on a full snowsuit under your cute little outfit!
Tip #2: If you’re purchasing a new winter coat this year, consider choosing one in a bright or even neon color! This way, when you get lost in a crowd of tourists (inevitable), your friends can easily find you in the sea of black pea coats, black puffer jackets, and black North Face fleece.
Tip #3: When people think “New York City,” they think BROADWAY! Steal a look from one of the stars of the Great White Way and the season’s newest big revival — CATS! Grizabella the Glamour Cat always looked so cozy, with her fingerless gloves, mismatched outerwear, and bedraggled furs (photo above). Be warm — “Now and Forever”!
Tip #4: Collect a range of hoodies in a series of sizes, starting with the smallest size you fit into and going up as high as manufacturers will make. Start out the season wearing the smallest size. Then, when the mercury drops, pull on the next largest hoodie, then the next largest, and so on and so forth. Don’t think of yourself as a human being with style and taste anymore: think of yourself as a matryoshka doll, made up of hoodies. Hoodies on hoodies on hoodies.
Tip #5: If going to a restaurant, party, or other indoor space where the heat will be jacked up to oblivion, your base layer will be a bodycon minidress. Yes, a bodycon minidress (below). From there, add sweatsuits, kigurumi, and snow suit layers. Remember to carry a very big purse (ideally a suitcase) as your “statement bag” — ideally, it should state, “Can you believe they even make bags this big?”
When you arrive at your destination, excuse yourself to the bathroom and remove all layers except for the minidress, which will be the appropriate level of clothing for space and its heating. Stow all of your outerwear in the large purse, which is now your millstone for the rest of the evening. Enjoy!
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I just bought a cute pair of walkable Chelsea-style boots. They are a lined rain boot, so not real warm without socks, but extra waterproof. They slip on easily for bleary morning dog walks.
And the ankles are about 1/4 inch shorter than the average corner slush puddle.
Nooo! Clearly what you need are the functional tall wellies! They swallow up your whole calf but render you fearless when it comes to puddles — even the famous NYC Puddles Of Indeterminate Depth!
But I am 5’4″ and lean towards the thick end of the belle curve (see what I did there)
Wellies make me look like I am 3’2″ and 320 lbs, which is not a look I am longing to imitate.
Plus I can’t find wellies I like as much.
Balls. In the battle of fashion versus function, wearing wellies basically means that fashion is waving the white flag of surrender. Nobody — NOBODY — looks cute in wellies. Except for this pig: https://www.flickr.com/photos/xcharlx/4738152011 And you know, even this pig looks kind of annoyed. Wellies are slippery and they make me walk slow (gasp the horror). But they keep my feet dry. I have a pair from a tractor supply store.
Hahahaha I am glad Cats is back on Broadway exclusively because of the genius it added to this post