HELLO, 1500th POST!
Bonjour, Sunday Stealers! Welcome to my 1500th post!
Why, just yesterday, I had hit my 936th post and now here we are!
I’m just tickled pink and red and lacy and chocolatey that I’ve made it this far and still going strong!
I can’t believe I’ve actually accomplished something so big and monumental as one thousand and five hundred various and sundry ramblings…when I feel like I’ve written maybe, five decent posts? Holy archives, Batman! Enough rhapsodizing, let’s talk about love! Let the Sunday Stealing…commence!!!
Love, to you.
Define love in your own words.
Love is touch. Touch is love. OH! Sorry, those aren’t my words! I think love is like a Reese’s cup. You have two individuals who are great on their own – chocolate! peanut butter! – but together, they’re fantastic!
What do you want in a relationship?
In the words of Queen: I want it all…and I want it now! I think it’s just as important for excitement and thrills as it is to have someone you (this is corny) can introduce to your parents. Someone your friends give the thumbs-up to. Someone who you can share inside jokes and crossword puzzles with.
What do you contribute to a relationship?
A lot of noise. Well, I like to effusively tell people I love them. All the time. And I’m more likely to express my affection by tightening the screws on your toilet seat than by bringing you diamonds. I think I bring the peanut butter. Something simple and realistic, down to earth and filling. Good for you! As opposed to the sexy excitement of the chocolate. I’m totally okay with that.
Do you have a Valentine?
!!!!!! YESSSSSSS !!!!!
If not, are you happy being single?
Yes, but I really love dating. It’s like buying a scratch-off card, but with people. I don’t think I need to explain that metaphor further but also, it’s a good reason to go new places and try new things.
Describe the perfect V-day date in your opinion:
I’ve spent the last two V-Days essentially hiding out from bad weather. February in New York doesn’t usually allow for my usual favourite activities, such as long romantic stroll and leaving the apartment. Although yesterday, on the way home from the grocery store (to buy pickling supplies – this is how we do it), it was snowing these big huge flakes and everyone stopped and laughed and tried to catch them on their tongue, it was pretty magical! My boyfriend’s dark coat was peppered with these massive flakes, it looked like he was losing a snowball fight with the Norse gods! So that was pretty adorable.
Pretty much my idea of a perfect day: wandering around somewhere nice (like the Upper West Side or Greenwich Village or Greenpoint, I mean a nice place, not like Inwood) and talking about things. Popping into stores or cafes and just strolling around. Taking advantage of the awesomeness that is New York City.
What is your crush’s name?
I’ve got it pretty bad for Waffles the Sheltie, and Instagram celebrity. Mom, do NOT show Waffles to Dad, or your birthday gift this year will be a puppy!!!
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.
This or that
Chocolates or Flowers….you must pick one!
I’m going to go with flowers because they’re SPECIAL. Chocolate is a daily necessity.
A short kiss or a big hug?
Cute and dimwitted, or Average and brilliant?
I don’t think anyone brilliant can be average. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.
“No really! I love to hear you talk for hours about ______!”
“I just don’t see why women make such a big deal about _____, it’s so gay.“
What thing should a guy never say to you?
The above, plus any of the Seven Words Used to Control Women.
How do you feel about kissing on the first date? Not as necessary. If you want to kiss someone, you should make your move by the second date, or I’ll assume you are not interested or are hiding some weird mouth-tentacle affliction. No judgement here! But please be upfront about the mouth tentacles on the second date and kiss me then or else I’ll assume I’ve been friendzoned. A first date is a little soon, I think – first date is when you’re meeting someone and getting to know them, I don’t expect you to have to decide whether I’m kissworthy just after I’ve told you I’m not the biggest fan of Brooklyn, I don’t drink beer, and the smell of bacon makes me nauseous. And you shouldn’t expect me to know that I want to kiss you as I’m trying to figure out whether you’re awkwardly shy or just nervous, quietly brilliant or just quiet, and what the hell it is you do for a living (tech startup what? Explain it to me again.) In short, a first date is too early to engage mouth-tentacles.
HAPPY VALENTIMES DAY SUNDAY STEALERS!
Now I share with you my snowy Harlem Valentime: