Currently…in January 2014



FEELING: 
Really down.  I just got dumped two days ago, and it hit me really hard.  I don’t know if it’s the season, or if I’m really in a rut, but nothing about what I’m doing right now feels right.  My job is getting on my nerves, I’m tired of working hard and spending all my money on rent, and I’m sick of being isolated.  I miss my family and I have no friends.  I need to make a change.

WATCHING:  Farscape!  It’s so weird and cute!  It’s like Battlestar Galactica – with Muppets!

READING: Existentialism and Human Emotion by Jean-Paul Sartre.  Yeah, it’s pretty long-winded, but I enjoy letting him ramble around to his point!
THINKING ABOUT: Futility of life, relationships…
EATING:  Lots of tea, gluten-free cheesecake, buckeyes and coffee, while I was home for Christmas!  At home, apples and oranges and carrots.  And more tea.
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Warmer weather, trying new things, having nothing to lose.
MAKING ME HAPPY: Not much besides tea, knitting, dyeing my hair funky colours, Farscape, and curling up in bed at night with some soft music playing.  I know that’s pretty sad, but that’s the reality at this moment. 

BLAST FROM THE PAST:

Currently…in December

3 thoughts on “Currently…in January 2014

  1. Unfortunately the holiday season is tops for relationships ending πŸ™ I blame the weather and the end of the year making people too anxious that they don't have much time in life. I was dumped a week before Christmas by an ex, we had been together for seven years. And just recently my husband has stated that he is bored… and we've been together seven years. I am hoping to remedy this!

    Take time for introspection and make a game plan, even mini steps can make you feel better/accomplished!

    When my ex left: I moved back in with my parents (ugh), quit my full time job and got a part time job, updated/changed my wardrobe, and went back to school. This was over a course of a year, I didn't do all of that at once. It was helpful and gave me a different perspective, a chance to meet new people, and just experience different things.

  2. So sorry you got dumped. Ugh, it's the worst. I was right were you are in August and later realized I was using love as a coverup for plenty of things I wasn't happy about in my life- "Ugh, I'm not happy with where I am in life…but I'm in love! I'll just focus on that!" It was a fucking bitch when I the rug was ripped away and on full display was all the shit I'd shoved under it. Did that metaphor make sense? I'm still struggling through it. I wish you all the best and send hugs! Here's to the New Year!

    1. It makes PERFECT sense. A lot of sense. I know I have a lot of work to do but right now I still feel so hurt and used and angry that I don't know how to move on. Nothing really seems to help. I know that time will heal and all, but I feel like my ability to trust has been shattered. Once you really open up and let someone in, completely, and they laugh it off like it was nothing, it feels impossible to believe in intimacy ever again. I hope you're feeling better!

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