I'm Afraid to Be Alone

I’m a little ashamed to admit that I’m afraid to live by myself.  I don’t, of course, I have Eels.  And before that, I lived with my parents.  For many, many years.

Here’s the embarrassing part:  I’m afraid to be alone at night.  And I’m almost 28 years old!

Take, for example, a few years ago.  My parents drove my brother out to college and left me at home alone overnight to watch the dogs.  I was alone, in my parents’ house in the totally safe suburb I grew up in. 

OR WAS I?  Every creak was a poltergeist.  Every bump was the footstep of a serial killer.  Every time the dogs barked, they were barking at the rapists, waiting outside the windows for me to let my guard down. 

Unreasonable?  Absolutely.  But who enjoys a solo sleepover?  That’s why you’re supposed to host crazy keg parties when your parents go out of town – so you won’t be alone in a creepy house all night!

Besides, this is New York!  Nobody can afford to live without roommates. 

Quick!  Name a fabulous sitcom where people DIDN’T have roommates!  It’s a trick question.  You can’t!  Will had Grace!  The Two Broke Girls have each other.  Marshall and Lily had Ted, then Ted had Marshall, then Ted had Robin, then I stopped watching because the show got boring.

And didn’t all the Friends share that impossibly gorgeous apartment together?  It was like, twenty years ago, I can’t remember.  And now I feel old.

So, really, who wants to be alone?  Would you rather be cowering under your comforter, wondering what that weird banging noise coming from the basement is?  Or, would you rather turn on a lava lamp, make some popcorn, throw a frozen pizza in the oven and stay up all night telling swapping stories and jokes with your roommates?Here’s the thing:  in terms of growing up, moving out and living by yourself is considered a milestone.  For some, a first apartment is considered the hallmark of being an adult!  OR IS IT?  Let’s ask Blanche Devereaux, whose fateful bulletin board posting seeking roommates led to one of the greatest sitcoms of all time:

Source: bing.com via Beth on Pinterest

I rest my case.


Comments

6 responses to “I'm Afraid to Be Alone”

  1. lol love this. So true! I hate staying by myself and I have never lived alone. I went from living with my parents to living with my boyfriend now husband. I did once stay alone for a summer at my cottage where Monday-Friday I was all alone. Looking back I have no idea how I did that! I always think there is rapists waiting to get in lol.

  2. Bwahahahahahahahahah!! Your How I Met Your Mother point just cracked me the hell up. I sort of agree with you, too.

    I also hate being alone at night. When my husband is out, I panic. I'm36, have two dogs and live in a fairly safe suburban neighbourhood – IN CANADA. Meh.

    Since I am breaking out of lurkdom, I feel the need to confess that I totally hoped to run into you on the streets of Manhattan when I was in NYC the first week of June. I swear I am not a stalker, but I'd sort of hoped to recognize you amidst the millions of others out there and shyly say hi. Alas. I would have been easy to spot with my bright purple & pink hair (that for some reason made people think they could hug me. "Your hair is AWESOME! Can I hug you?!?!!?" Um. No. In fact, my hair keeps people AWAY from me in Montreal. But I digress…)

  3. I don't like being home alone either. I hide under the blankets until The Prince gets home.

  4. I lived alone in an apartment (well, two) for six years. I wouldn't have changed that at all (after college, I think a gal is just too old for a roomie, and my folks were out-of-state for most of those six years). I think you learn so much about yourself living alone. That being said … I'm VERY happy to be living with my fiance now. It was a very good thing to do for me at the time. But now, I'm sick of being alone. Though I don't hate it when he goes out with his friends for the night every month or so 🙂

  5. Golden Girls….Best show EVER!
    Thanks for this trip down memory lane.

  6. Nobody had roommates on Seinfeld.

    BOOM. Headshot.

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