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How Was Your Christmas? I Got My Period!
Yep, so, I was worried about how this Christmas was going to be. I was worried I would be lonely? I was not lonely. I was worried I would be sad? Yes, I was sad, but more importantly — — I got my period! It’s the most on-brand gift for me, honestly, I think.…
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Dead People Christmas Playlist!!!
Ho, ho, ho! Christmas is almost here! I’m still trying to ‘get it up’ for this holiday. Yes, honestly. I’m headed “home” for Christmas today after putting in a couple hours at the studio, and you know what I’m going to be listening to while I work? DEAD PEOPLE. Yes my fryends,…
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Okay, NOW I Can Start Getting Jazzed For Christmas
As I begin this draft, it is December 9th, 2017 — the day AFTER John Lennon Day — and big, fat flakes are sticking to the YES STILL GREEN leaves on the tree outside my window. Have I mentioned that I have a window? I’m a lucky girl. Related: I would like some advice on weather-proofing…
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“Tradition”
Christmas was ruuuuuuuuuined. When I was very young, it was the tradition to go to Christmas Eve mass and pick up a sheet pizza from Nirchi’s on the way home. Then, one year, we got a deep fryer…and discovered the joy of tempura. It was decided that this year, we would come home from…
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God Is Punishing Me… With Puke
Let’s back this thing up. Over Christmas, you may recall, I found myself vomiting and suffering in the absolute extreme. I thought maybe it was a flu? Or a fluke. One of the two. It wasn’t the first time in my 32-year existence that I’ve been majorly ill on a major Christian holiday, but…
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Have Yourself A Pukey Little Christmas
Christmas 2016 is one we won’t soon forget. Even if we wanted to. Oh, we had a really nice time, don’t get me wrong! At the last minute, my boyfriend asked me to come with him to his family Christmas in Connecticut for the weekend. We had a lovely Christmas Eve dinner with crackers and…
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A Photo With The Rockefeller Christmas Tree
Well, look at me. Me and the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Trying to force some festive shit out of this anus of a year. 2016. I repeat: 2016 was an asshole. Six years ago this month, I got a visit from an old friend. December 8th, it was. I’ve been thinking a lot about him for two…
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Thanksgiving? What Thanksgiving?
Ho, ho, ho, my fellow hoes! I call you “hoes” like “whores” because we all know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex work as long as nobody’s being exploited and everyone has given consent! Merry Christmas! Yeah, assholes, CHRISTMAS. It goes right from Halloween to Christmas. TBF, Thanksgiving isn’t even a holiday anymore, let’s…