Don’t Get It Twisted

This one time, I nearly had a heart attack.

I was at work, doing my thing, when I suddenly became aware of an acute, piercing pain directly over my heart on my breastbone.  It hurt so much I couldn’t breathe.  I started to launch into self-calming mode:  I started to talk softer, took deep breaths, but no matter what, it just kept hurting, more and more.

I excused myself from the floor to run upstairs to the bathroom.  I took deep, heavy breaths, and still the pain.  I couldn’t figure out where this sharp agony was coming from!  I placed my hand on my chest and felt a small, odd lump in the center of my chest.

I had twisted my bra.

I put my bra on twisted in the middle.

I thought I was dying of heart failure because I couldn’t dress myself properly.

Don’t get it twisted, mami.