Things I Learned at Burning Man 2017

 

The opposite of “Fragile Masculinity” is probably “Secure Masculinity,” as in a cishet man who can enjoy yoga and facials and pumpkin spice latte’s without having to proclaim “NO HOMO!” But what is “Fragile Femininity,” i.e. a woman who feels compelled to protest that she is “Not Like Other Girls,” or HATES the color pink and everything “girly” in a desperate bid to be “One Of The Guys”? There should be a term for this.

 

If you drop an earring on the ground, DO NOT, please, DO NOT blow the dust off and put it in your ear anyway! Take my word for it, and don’t make yourself learn this the hard way like did!

 

Nobody really knows the words to “Auld Lang Syne,” but if you’re pouring champagne into their open mouth, nobody will care, either.

 

Radio DJ’s of old had subtle mind control powers, within their ability to manipulate emotions by choosing the songs that they played. Before we had the range of choices of podcasts, cassettes, CDs, Sirius XM, and iTunes, a radio DJ could make or break your morning depending on what song they played during your commute.

 

A good manicure can save a life! Or at least, save your hands from weeks’ worth of damage like you couldn’t believe.

 

Experiencing joy for yourself is great, but it’s nothing compared to the high of watching someone else experience joy.

 

There are far, far worse things than being sweaty and dirty for a whole week.

 

I can climb to the top of the storage unit, carry three conduit pipes at a time, and lift tent poles … but the water boxes are still too heavy for me. So don’t sell yourself short on what you’re capable of.

 

Be extra careful around the hand sanitizer posts, because they have splinters!!!!! 

Learned that one The Hard Way.

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