Recipes That Prove That Humans Are Monsters

  I feel pretty gross and guilty for my mayo-cheese-and-sriracha sandwiches. That’s what they are. Gluten free bread, a thick layer of Kewpie mayo on both slices, a hearty drizzle of Sriracha hot sauce, and two slices of Provolone cheese. I’m a bad person. I’m disgusting. This is my favorite[…]

Egg Sandwiches! In The Microwave!

Ok everybody — it’s official! EVEYBODY’S cooking eggs in the microwave now!   *EVEYBODY = Matty Matheson, the COOLEST celebrity chef whomst I am low-key enamored with.     It’s been a hot damn while since I’ve talked about eggs in the microwave, and now “eggs in the microwave” are[…]

Omelettes – In The Microwave!!!

  Backstory: I joined a Facebook community about Depression Meals. What’s a “depression meal,” you ask? Well, according to the group, basically anything that you eat while depressed? There’s a good variety between like really tragic and lazy meals (leftover white rice with ketchup?), decadent “treat yo’self” meals (cakes and[…]

LOST: my inspiration. FOUND: this stuff…

  So I just told you in my boat post that I’ve been struggling with finding “inspiration.” That’s pretty harsh, but it’s true. I’ve been actively searching for, but (largely) failing to find, things that excite me. Apologies in advance for sounding like a total jerk, but I’ve been going through a big period[…]

Yes, Lavender Simple Syrup is SO Simple

That is my lavender plant…in a lavender pot. I’m growing it from seed! I posted on Twitter over the weekend that I was making lavender-infused simple syrup and ooh la laa, you’d think I’d just casually dropped that I was making Spanishe Windtorte! You guys, there’s a reason it’s called “simple syrup,”[…]

I Invented A Pasta, Don’t @ Me

Yeah, I invented a pasta.   I’m going on record as saying that I invented this pasta because I had a craving for something salty and carb-y during my last menstrual period and I let my uterus pick the ingredients. And my uterus was eyeing that bag of brown rice pasta from[…]