The Drive-By

Today I would like to speak about a phenomenon that annoys me to no end.  I call it, “The Drive-By.”

New York is a walking city, and you all know how much I LOOOOVE walking.  I would walk until my feet fall off!  I sometimes do!  Walking allows you to appreciate your environment, puts you down in the trenches, with the people…

But sometimes, the people will use this as an excuse to interact with you in shitty ways.  Sometimes, you’ll be walking along, with or sans headphones, and a human (usually a man, sorry, calls em as I sees em) will walk way too close to you and mutter something incomprehensible into your ear.  Ladies and Gentlemen, The Drive-By.

First of all, what makes you even think you can mess with this face?  Clearly I’m not interested in conversation.  Not that you wait for my response.  By the time my brain even realizes you’ve said something to me over AC/DC screaming in my ears, I’m already across the street and you’re way gone.  Should I pull out my earbud, turn around, and holler in your direction:  “pouvez-vous répéter s’il vous plaît” ?  Because I am a lady.  And if you have something to say to me, you can stop, SMILE, and say it to my FACE.

So the next time you’re tempted to waddle alongside a stranger, whisper “nice tattoo” or “hey baby” or whatever the hell other verbal vomit is bubbling up in your throat, think about how you would react if the circumstances were reversed.