FEELING: SO OPTIMISTIC. And nostalgic, but in that “look how far I’ve come” kind of way. My life was turned completely upside-down on this day last year. Right now, I’m working two jobs that I love, living in the most fabulous apartment, dating someone who adores me and who is so easy to spend time with, healing a new tattoo (!!!!!), and there’s so much to celebrate in my life.
.
WATCHING: Hulu added more episodes of Worst Cooks in America. Celebrity edition. It’s my happiest. When it’s time to sleep, I put on an episode of Kitchen Nightmares and I’m usually asleep before Gordon Ramsey finishes tasting the restaurant’s food for the first time. I binge-watched the entire season of newly-added episodes of Call The Midwife on Netflix and HATED IT but cried like a wounded badger at every episode.
.
LISTENING TO: Of COURSE, Last Podcast on the Left. Their Donner Party episodes were AMAZING and if you want a good entry point to the podcast, I strongly recommend those! .
.
READING: I may have mentioned this already, but I’ve been enjoying The Satanic Bible, by Anton LeVay. I’m not religious, and as my favorite podcast puts it, “Saying you’re a Satanist is like the ‘funny’ way of saying you’re an atheist.” I’m definitely going to write more about this in another post, but for those of you raising eyebrows (mom?), the thing that appeals to me about The Satanic Bible is that it’s kind of like, a manual for morality that doesn’t revolve around a higher power? Like to paraphrase, two of the Satanic sins are “Lack of Aesthetic” (lol, clearly I feel that’s a sin! I wear makeup to work with power tools) and “Self-Defeating Pride,” which I definitely struggle with. It’s silly but, I think about this book a lot. It’s actually worthwhile as a self-help book, oddly enough. Well, I’m definitely going to write a longer post about this later.
.
WORKING ON: Things at the studio have been busy, busy, busy! I like it, though! The past month was a blur: I missed some days because I got REALLY sick, and September’s period gave me the kind of migraines I rarely get, but they cause me to be very dizzy and nauseous, so that took me out of commission, and basically every day I *could* hold it together, I was working or doing something intense liiiiiiike walking the length of Broadway from 157th to the lower tip of the island with friends!
.
THINKING ABOUT: Related to the “FEELING” category, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year. I’m of course, a big believer in anniversaries and time-markers, birthdays, holidays, and new years. I remember a year ago, I couldn’t picture my life a year into the future, I could only hope that I would be happy, that I would be ok? Now I kind of laugh about it because I couldn’t imagine all the goodness and happiness my life contains now. All that trite “if you find yourself in hell, keep walking” and “it’s always darkest before the dawn” stuff runs through my head. At the same time, I don’t want to dwell on past unhappiness, no matter how much it puts my present happiness into perspective, or makes me grateful for my current life.
.
EATING: Ok first you have to promise not to judge me. So, I learned that my local bodega/deli/grocery sells KEWPIE MAYO. I have been making cheddar cheese and mayonnaise sandwiches. I know I know. I’m seriously going to start cooking next month, I swear.
.
LOOKING FORWARD TO: A couple weddings in late November. Getting my tattoo colored in. Working hard and (eugh, gross, forgive me) playing hard.
.
MAKING ME HAPPY: The mercury is hovering at that perfect “jacket weather” mark. After not seeing my boyfriend ALL MONTH last month because I was so heckin’ busy, we had a wonderful day wandering around my neighborhood and checking out the roof, then after I got my tattoo outline, we spent the next day sleeping during cheesy horror movies from the ’80s and it was utterly perfect. DragCon was a load of fun.
Leave a Reply